They just can't apologize can they??
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They just can't apologize can they??
So last night being Friday, AH comes home all drunk.
He gets into bed with me (he's been sleeping on the couch) and cuddles up to me real big and says "I love you so much Susan"
My name isn't Susan.
I texted him about it this morning and he texts back
"make sure you post it on facebook" (referring to in the past I've posted for advice about his nonsense on facebook)
Really?
He gets into bed with me (he's been sleeping on the couch) and cuddles up to me real big and says "I love you so much Susan"
My name isn't Susan.
I texted him about it this morning and he texts back
"make sure you post it on facebook" (referring to in the past I've posted for advice about his nonsense on facebook)
Really?
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Originally Posted by auroraxborealis 
Any chance that he has a family member (aunt, cousin, grandmother, etc.) or had a pet named Susan?
No, it's one of the party girls half his age that he considers one of his very best friends.
The one he drove through multi states in the middle of a winter blizzard in an uninsured car spending the rest of our money to visit for a weekend a year ago.
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pink, if one does get an "apology", it is usually in the honeymoon period following an episode of abusive behavior. Designed to suck us back into the cycle and forgive them, once again. Thereby, taking the focus off our pain and focus onto their wonderfulness.
So, even when given...the "apology" is not the same as taking responsibility for their actions. It is a manipulation.
Of course, the apology often is sweet to the ears of the co-dependent, because it feeds the false hope that we cling to--the hope that the relationship can be retained--that our fantasy of a "good" and nurturing relationship really is in the cards...some day. That our fantasized life will come true. That they won't leave us and we will not be lonely...but safe from abandonment (the worst fear of all).
In the big sense....I agree with you...an apology, especially, a sincere one is about as rare as hen's teeth. (and hen's don't have teeth).
If I were in that situation--hearing the other woman's name...honestly, I don't know WHAT I would do....but, I think it would probably be pretty ugly!
I would probably think of something completely sociopathic like sneaking estrogen pills into his drinks so his wanger would go all soft.....permanently
dandylion
So, even when given...the "apology" is not the same as taking responsibility for their actions. It is a manipulation.
Of course, the apology often is sweet to the ears of the co-dependent, because it feeds the false hope that we cling to--the hope that the relationship can be retained--that our fantasy of a "good" and nurturing relationship really is in the cards...some day. That our fantasized life will come true. That they won't leave us and we will not be lonely...but safe from abandonment (the worst fear of all).
In the big sense....I agree with you...an apology, especially, a sincere one is about as rare as hen's teeth. (and hen's don't have teeth).
If I were in that situation--hearing the other woman's name...honestly, I don't know WHAT I would do....but, I think it would probably be pretty ugly!
I would probably think of something completely sociopathic like sneaking estrogen pills into his drinks so his wanger would go all soft.....permanently
dandylion
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Originally Posted by dandylion
If I were in that situation--hearing the other woman's name...honestly, I don't know WHAT I would do....but, I think it would probably be pretty ugly!
I would probably think of something completely sociopathic like sneaking estrogen pills into his drinks so his wanger would go all soft.....permanently
dandylion
LOL!
Actually his last abusive tangent was mostly telling me that I'm a sociopath, so..... lol
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No apology could ever make anything he's done or said right. How long are you going to put up with it? You deserve do much better. Have you been tested to make sure he never have you any gifts that keep on giving? Wouldn't touch him with a 39 1/2 foot pole.
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I'm only going to put up with it until I can find the best answer for leaving for my daughter and I.
Believe me, I am done. I've never felt so done. I could never admit to myself before that I don't love him as a husband any longer and want a divorce.
I'm no longer in denial or have hopes that he can ever get well, or that we will ever be in a good place in our marriage. Too much has happened, too much has been said.
I can admit that now.
Believe me, I am done. I've never felt so done. I could never admit to myself before that I don't love him as a husband any longer and want a divorce.
I'm no longer in denial or have hopes that he can ever get well, or that we will ever be in a good place in our marriage. Too much has happened, too much has been said.
I can admit that now.
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Just can't agree enough-I've lived this. Seen tearful apologies, heartfelt promises....no remorse...just designed to pull me back in. That's it. No real change. Very true-people that don't say they are sorry are not.
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My take on apologies. There are empty apologies full of tears and I'll never do it again, empty I am sorry, blah, blah. I have heard it all - BUT I have also had the experience to hear the REAL apology, the one from the heart. It is rare but it can happen. My AH gave me a heartfelt apology before he left home and told me he was truly sorry for the way things worked out. And for the first time every I was able to believe him.
Don't lose hope honey!
Take care and thight, thight hugs!!
Don't lose hope honey!
Take care and thight, thight hugs!!
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Originally Posted by Earthworm
Ugh! What a jerk!!!!
Thats a good idea to get yourself tested for STD's.
His handicapped son that you talked about in another thread that he is responsible for, doesn't the son get a disability pension.........?
Thats a good idea to get yourself tested for STD's.
His handicapped son that you talked about in another thread that he is responsible for, doesn't the son get a disability pension.........?
His disabled son gets disability each month but it's not enough after rent, bills, food, some medicine isn't covered completely and for instance we have to pay $60/week just for his adult diapers out of pocket.
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Pink- I think you finally understand...
When people show you who they are .............believe them the first time.
You need to come up with an exit plan. Is there any way you can talk to your brothers. Email them the situation you are in and that you need help for a couple months till your daughter is done with school. Anything they can do??
When people show you who they are .............believe them the first time.
You need to come up with an exit plan. Is there any way you can talk to your brothers. Email them the situation you are in and that you need help for a couple months till your daughter is done with school. Anything they can do??
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Originally Posted by maia1234
Pink- I think you finally understand...
When people show you who they are .............believe them the first time.
You need to come up with an exit plan. Is there any way you can talk to your brothers. Email them the situation you are in and that you need help for a couple months till your daughter is done with school. Anything they can do??
When people show you who they are .............believe them the first time.
You need to come up with an exit plan. Is there any way you can talk to your brothers. Email them the situation you are in and that you need help for a couple months till your daughter is done with school. Anything they can do??
Both said they were not able to help. I'm not sure I believe one of them, but what can I do, ya know?
I just keep praying for a good solution.
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Oh drag that it doesn"t cover everything...........
Originally Posted by pinkpeony
Yeah, I just got medical insurance again so the STD testing is on the list of things to get done 
His disabled son gets disability each month but it's not enough after rent, bills, food, some medicine isn't covered completely and for instance we have to pay $60/week just for his adult diapers out of pocket.
His disabled son gets disability each month but it's not enough after rent, bills, food, some medicine isn't covered completely and for instance we have to pay $60/week just for his adult diapers out of pocket.
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