scandy01

So I've been a long time lurker on this site since I first got sober in 2009...I've decided that it is time for me to seek total sobriety and need all the help I can get to stay motivated. Reading stories here have helped me decide to want to quit all of my addictions...the posts here are so helpful and encouraging.

I've been self medicating depression/anxiety I've had since I was 5...been on one substance or another for the better part of 18 yrs...started w/ weed, then opiates, then suboxone, methadone, and kratom and adderall which I've used 25/7 for the 4-8 years. Weed really isn't my favorite & I actually recently quit for my job..then quit my job so I could quit everything.

Quit for 3 days then started smoking weed because it was either that or I was going to relapse on kratom...the withdrawals were intense. But now I feel I'm over the worst of them & I know deep down I will never get rid of this depression until I'm completely free of all mind altering substances.

I just know that I've seen people who post a lot here tend to be successful so I hope to be able to contribute & be a success story. I know this is going to be so hard but I've been depressed so long I know that this is my only hope & that at least everyday I'll know I'm moving towards something better rather than staying stuck in this cycle of making things worse. I really feel like it's now or never...if I don't quit now I'll get even more stuck in using it as a crutch to stay off kratom & adderall & I know for a fact I like how I feel off weed vs on it so just have to do it. I'm making a commitment to post here everyday as I feel it's just one more tool in my recovery. Thanks to anyone who reads this as this site is my only connection to totally sober people at the moment.

EyesOfAStranger

Welcome Scandy

I agree, at least for me, posting here helped me tremendously. I wasn't even posting at all times looking for a response, it just helped me so much to pour out whatever was on my mind. I didn't have f2f support, so this site was everything. So post away - it really will help!

Good for you for making this decision! I also suffer from depression, and it sure is hard to really try to treat it when we are using one thing or another. At first it seemed to help lighten me up....then as I fell further in it just made everything so much worse.

Yes, it's a long and hard journey but it can be done. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Best wishes your way!

Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of things Scandy

You're very welcome to keep posting here, but just to let you know we also have a Marijuana forum you might like to check out as well:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ana-addiction/

D