Kitty

Hello....I am new here as of today. I am living with my second alcholic husband. Things are getting worse daily I am in counseling, but he has mamaged to back me into a corner with my family and business. He hu,ilites himself in public and with othe4rs with his foul language an behavior. I really just don't care about him at all...to the point when he touches me it is like pain. I feel I am so weak not able to let go. I did with my first mariage....I can't figure all of this out.

Morning Glory

Hi Kitty,
Sounds like you need a plan. It is something that will take time to figure out. If your life is all tangled up, you just need to start untangling. I'm sure others will be able to say something more meaningful. I just wanted to welcome you.

Morning Glory

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Kitty!
Welcome to the recovery forum.

Are you attending alanon meetings? If you are on your second alcoholic husband, don't you think it would be a good idea? MG is right.... you need a plan. But you also need the strength to make one. You can draw on the strength of the group.

hugs,
Smoke

Debbie

Welcome Kitty!!

I have to agree with the other ladies. A plan is what you need. Meetings at al-anon would help and of course like smoke said, the strength of the board and others in your situation.

You take care.
Many hugs.
Debbie

bonbon

Kitty,
I wanted to take a minute to Welcome you here. I am not so far in this myself, but I wanted to let you know your not alone. My A is my spouse, I know how tuff it is. I use these boards and it is filled with very insightful people, and tons of good reading. I would suggest you going back a bit and reading Pernell's post about Addictive Personalities, it is very good. Welcome again, and keep coming back.

God Bless,
Bonbon

Kitty

Thanks everyone for you kind welcomes! I appreciate them. I do need a plan...it is so hard to make one, I have so much fear. My A( my spouse) is passed out as I write this...he very succesful and smart. Heck he is passed out everyday for at least three hours.....very very drunk. I am going to look into some meetings. I have to admit I did go to a few when I was married to A#1 I got very depressed there listening to everyone but I was much younger then and had young kids to worry about. Now...I just feel like I am spinning with the whole thing. I almost feel life gone as far as it can. I hate the verbal abuse and humiliation of being with him.....I can't feel any kindness for this man...do you all feel like this? I just look at him and say as he walks away I hate you.... Thanks for listening .........Kitty

JT

Kitty,

I tried Al Anon when I was young and I didn't stick with it, too. And I regret that today. Al Anon can be the most enlightening and empowering thing that you can do for yourself. If I had stayed with it then I would have been a much happier person and and a much better parent.

If nothing else, keep posting or even lurking aroung these boards and you will see all the experience strength and hope that Al Anon has to offer.

First things first, tho. If you read everything you can find about the disease of alcoholism you can't help but come away knowing that you cannot control it and you, in no way are the cause of it. It doesn't sound like you blame yourself, but a little reinforcement never hurts.

You CAN stay with the A and get strong until yu know what to do...but even if you run screaming for the hills..Al Anon should still be in your future. Just the fact that you have maried 2 of them should be a huge billowing red flag.

Think about it,
Paula