Katchie

I know that this doesn't really matter. Well, it kinda does but it doesn't. When it comes to detoxing, are there stages one goes through? IF, and thats a big big if, my AH is telling the truth and hasn't drank since Friday, he has had shakes, anxiety, heart palpitations, sweating..etc. But when I saw him today, which would almost be a week later, he looked awful, smelled awful, and said he had vomited all night and had diarrhea. He text me to say goodnight and I asked if he was feeling any better and he said no. Could this still be withdrawal symptoms? Does this go in stages? Just curious. And yes, I've warned him that this is dangerous to do on his own, but he doesn't listen.

happybeingme

For me and only for me I detoxed on my own, by day four the worst of my symptoms were over but I continued to have mild symptoms off and on for two weeks. But, I also only drank alcoholically for three years. He should go to a doctor immediately. I did know a woman on another forum who had a seizure on day seven.

He could be very dehydrated and his electrolytes could be off which can be life threatening

anattaboy

Get him to a Dr ASAP. Abrupt cessation from large, daily amnts. lengthens and worsens the detox IME. Some of the damage caused by cold turkey can linger or remain. At the very least check BP and get some B vits and water in him. Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

dandylion

Katchie....advise him to go to a private doctor's office---if he refuses to go to a facility.
I'm sure that he is terrified of his image, and, is trying to keep this "hidden".
A private doctor will keep everything confidential---and, won't tell his family.
Some people do do at-home detox with meds and instructions from a doctor.
Of course, it is less ideal than a medical facility. But, it is better than nothing.

Advise him not to stay alone, even if he were to do this. He needs someone nearby in case things go south...like DT's or a withdrawl seizure.

I am not trying to scare you. Just trying to let you know the potential seriousness.

In case this sounds very codie of me...I tend to safety matters first (I am a medical person).

Good luck, Katchie. If his mother is arriving soon---she will, most likely, intervene..I'll bet.

dandylion

carlingford

Katchie, the answer is yes, normally there is the acute withdrawal3 which lasts a week or two and then the post alcohol withdrawal syndrome which then can happen after the acute withdrawal, this can last for months to years depending on the amount consumed the period and the person, i.e. previous withdrawals , diet, exercise. This is the brain reconnecting from damage done and can take a while, Vitamin B should be taken especially thiamine taken during this time. Please consult a doctor as its very serious and can result in seizures and death, Good Luck and see Doc.

Hawkeye13

I was also through the worst by the third / forth day.
You don't really know if he's telling the truth about stopping, however, so
it could be he is still drinking some / stopping some. I did that also
to try and "taper" a few times, but what it really was was I was still not fully ready to
commit to quitting.

It's hard to know what is real when you are dealing with someone trying to cover their drinking.
The other thing is he could be still trying to get you to let him
come back home before his mother gets there and is trying to get sympathy by being ill.
Sounds extreme? Not really. Drunks have all sorts of manipulation tools in their toolbox.
Being ill and making you come around that way is just one more, believe it or not. I've done it.

My suggestion is that he go to a doctor, but that you still do not let him come back
home. If he needs someone to stay with him or check on him per doctor's orders, it
should be a friend and you should not come to the rescue yet again and cover for him with his mother.
If he has real issues they will keep him in detox. That's what the professionals are in place for.

Sounds hard, but he does know other people besides you I'm assuming, and if gets back home and doesn't have to tell his mother I'm betting he won't.
Keeping him out of the house gets the alcoholism out of the closet and into the family sphere where it can be dealt with by everyone and not just you.

Katchie

I will try to make some calls to close friends. He is not going to listen to me because he hasn't so far.

GnikNus

I know two people who tried to quit like it sounds he did. One of them is dead. The other one is lucky to be alive. Both had seizures after the abrupt cessation of alcohol.

Hawkeye13

That's how I quit too in the end--suddenly with no support.

I didn't even know it could be dangerous.

In fact, my symptoms were so bad I googled "withdrawal symptoms from alcohol"
and that's how I came to find SR.

So something good came from something bad--but seizures are a real risk.
I had racing blood pressure, nausea, headaches, shaking hands, terrible anxiety and insomnia.

Katchie

I just asked him how he is doing this morning. He said he had diarrhea until late last night still. I told him to see his doctor about it. I doubt he will. I can't make him go and I've told him the dangers and that what he is experiencing is related to detox. He knows this is dangerous and could kill him but I think he is under the impression that it wouldn't happen to him. Kinda like when I expressed wanting to protect myself legally from hazards associated with his drinking and driving, he says nothing will happen. He's hard headed.

Katchie

Alright, I sent him another text and told him this is most likely withdrawal symptoms and that he needs to go see doc (a friend) and be very honest about what's going on with him because its dangerous what he's doing and he isn't out of the woods yet. No response yet. Knowing him he thinks I'm full of it.

Hawkeye13

Ever think that diarrhea could be related to anxiety and the fact that the truth about
his drinking is about to come out to his very conservative mother?

I'm only half-joking here. He's about to reap some serious consequences and maybe that has him physically upset.

Katchie

Hawkeye, I told him yesterday at the game and he looked awful. He smelled awful. My sister came and sat with us toward the end of our boys game and she looked at me and asked if I had eaten a burger because it smelled like a burger around me. I hadn't, it was my husband stinking.
He text me back and said, "why would they come after 4-5 days (the vomiting and diarrhea). Was feeling pretty good until I started eating nasty food. It also comes with that after mostly liquids for a few days. If you don't start back eating slow and I didn't."
He isn't believing this could possibly be related to drinking.

FireSprite

I agree with you & that's why I say I still don't think HE thinks he has a real problem. His ego seems pretty huge Katchie, it sounds like it still hasn't accepted being "labelled" as an alcoholic.

Hawkeye has had some excellent advice & I totally agree that his anxiety over telling his mommy about his shenanigans is probably adding fuel to the fire. ((((HUGS))))

Katchie

DBL post

Katchie

I sent him a number to call to get some info on withdrawal symptoms. I hope he uses it. He admitted his friend, doc, doesn't specialize in addictions and he would need to call someone else.

Firesprite, yes, he has a huge ego, always has.

freetosmile

While I've been educated in the dangers of alcohol withdrawal, I will never pretend to know first hand.

The only thing I really want to reemphasize is that you are doing great Katchie. If this man has been made aware of the potential dangers then, aside from warning him.....

Ah! I can't verbalize what I'm trying to say here, so I'm just going to say it straight.

Katchie, just be careful that this withdrawal stuff doesn't hoover you back in. You can't control whether or not he is going to take it as seriously as he should.
And plus, do you REALLY think he is not drinking?

Katchie

Free...I'm not letting him hoover me back in -- love that analogy..lol I feel very solid on my current position with him. And no, I'm not sure he still isn't drinking, I'm not sure of anything that he tells me is the truth. Sad. But, if he IS telling the truth, I wanted him warned and I wanted him having a number he could call. Now, no excuses and I don't/won't feel guilty.

Update: He text me back that he called the number. I'm sure it was a shocker to him. He says, "I called them and will check it out. Don't know if I can do 5-6 weeks or if insurance pays. Complicated. Will talk about it later after mom leaves and the boys get done saturday." I thanked him for letting me know.

I pray he does whatever he needs to do and does it safely, and God only knows what that is.

FireSprite

^Yes, totally, because:

I believe it from what you've shared.... just keep in mind that it's a long fall from an ego that high.... there's no telling what other highs & lows you have yet to see. It's like being caught in a storm in a sailboat - you can't control the wind but you can adjust your sails.

Katchie

Thank you Firesprite. If my head starts to unscrew, please help me to screw it back in place.