NotSoSmart

It is hard not to get sucked in to the New Year/New Chances stuff this time of year. I realized I was putting a LOT of pressure on myself and my life b/c of the new year.
I rang in the new year with my boy (it was his first time seeing the ball drop). I went to bed but was awoken at 2:30am by my dog wanting let out. On my way, I stepped in a puddle of pee on the floor, which was large enough to have seeped into the lined closet. I yelled at the dog and cleaned up the pee, thinking "happy effin New Year to me, what a way to start". Once she got back in and settled I went back to sleep and had a nightmare that my ex was seeing someone and I felt hurt b/c she was giving someone else something I had always wanted/waited for. I woke up from the dream distressed. Then in the morning I went to let the dog out again and discovered poo on the floor. I have 2 dogs, so not sure who did it, but again had this thought that 2015 is going to literaly be a sh%tty year based on how its started thus far.

Then I realized.. I'm in Al Anon and my world is broken into 12-24 hours, not 12 months. I can't and shouldn't be making predictions about a whole year. I can only manage today, and sometimes only right now. It is a lot of pressure to make the resolutions and predictions. But that's not for me to worry about. The upcoming year is in m HP's hands, not mine. I felt the pressure release.

I was able to realize that the dogs were scared last night b/c of fireworks. My dog did not want to go out for potty. She probably would have if I had gone out to "watch her" but I was tired and cold. So a result of my choice was cleaning up dog messes. I was feeling salty b/c my happy new year message to my ex was responded to with a curt text of "did you get my message that I'm picking him up tomorrow". not any friendly response back like I wanted.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience b/c I never realized before what a stressful time this can be. It doesn't have to be if you just remember its one day at a time.

dandylion

Have you had a chance to make a sincere amends to the dogs?

dandylion

maia1234

I am sorry NSS, not starting the way you wanted. Try and lower your expectations so when crxp does happen you are not so disappointed. Try and think of you and your little guy. At least he didnt wake up with the dogs and not fall back to sleep and wanted to party in the middle of the night. There are always worse things that could happen.

Try and be positive as things will get better.

Happy 2015!!

lillamy

That is SUCH a good realization!!! And aren't we lucky (yeah I know it sounds weird) to have the resource of Al-Anon, that allows us to take one day at a time?

Thank you for sharing that -- I needed the reminder!