Fly N Buy

As I started my sober journey almost 7 months ago, I had to know the how's and what's of every moment/day/week. How could I do this? What would be the results?? Questions, questions, questions.....

It took awhile, but then the light started to turn on. For the first time in many years, I listened to others. I sought and took advice from the most unlikely of new friends. I opened my heart and mind and did things without question or having to know the why's at every turn.

Today, one of the most valuable lessons given me is just DO and Then understand. Old FlyNBuy's ways did not work - had become sick and tired of being sick and tired as the saying goes......

I set aside my inclination to prejudice and judging with contempt new ideas - however strange they might have seemed.

If you are starting out, many of us found that same crazy brain that kept us in the darkness for so long may not be the sharpest tool to use in gaining sober momentum. My brain had become sharp as a marble.......

Perhaps consider putting off some of the why's and how's around every action and each moment. Maybe consider just doing what those who have been successful for some period have done.

Then, maybe - we can all understand the Why's
Kind Regards,
FlyN

ArtFriend

Fake it til you make it?

Fly N Buy

Not really - more a question of faith in taking actions others suggest that have helped them. Doing things without question why/how at every turn.

For example, meditation was suggested by friends here and elsewhere. I spent a month reading about meditation without meditating, trying to understand the why's????

When I finally just starting doing it, soon I began to understand why

trachemys

One of the basics of training. Do it this way and the reasons why will be evident.

JT0626

So simple, but yet profound.

GracieLou

This was how it was for me too. I had faith. I just kept doing what was suggested. Some things had to be suggested many times over because I forget the second, third and forth time until it clicked the fifth time that I knew what to do. Sometimes I did it and other times I asked if I was on the right page and I was told I was with a few more added suggestions..LOL

The "why" I think trips up more alcoholics than anything else. They get so wrapped up in the "why" and it caused them to never take action at all.

Faith has carried me through every situation I have had in sobriety to date.

SoberLeigh

Thanks, FlyN. Great words of wisdom and encouragement.

desypete

thats exactly how i have had to do things in my life over and over again that i could normally find a reason not to do them so i wouldn't do them

what i found out over and over again with me was that when i actually tired to do something that i would try to talk myself out of it or i wouldnt like the look of it or it didnt feel right that very oftern i would enjoy doing it and there was nothing to it other than what my own head made out of it

fear would be the main reason i wouldnt do anything as i would be scared of not being the best at it or looking like a fool
it far easier for me to sit in my own comfort zone even if it means sitting at home doing nothing other than feeling down and low and wishing i had a better life i would be to scared to actualy go out there and make it happen

today that fear doesnt rule me and i can live my life and do anything i wish to do should i want to but i know when there are things i must do as if i dont i will be letting fear get to me again

Soberwolf

Thanks Fly

ArtFriend

I suffer from analysis paralysis. I "why" everything to death. Must learn to let go and let god.

matilda123

This--great post!

FreeOwl

yep.

we spent many years trying to logic our way back into the bottle.

we alcoholics and addicts aren't a stupid or a lazy lot. In fact, most times we're exactly the opposite.

so our natural inclination is to "figure it out" - and alongside that is our addictive mind working one step ahead to figure out how to figure out a way out of not drinking.

when we finally learn to slow down, accept, let go, and "figure out" nothing beyond choosing sobriety and taking the steps that have worked for others - we learn.

and then life changes.....

and understanding begins to evolve....

and we grow....

trachemys

It is so easy to skim over that and not read it. FreeOwl, that is the crust of the biscuit, right there.

Read carefully, folks. We are our own worst enemy in this.

brynn

Ditto!

Fly N Buy

Great posts from all !
I strongly identify with these sentiments

FreeOwl

yep.

I didn't get it until I lived it several times and finally got it.

Once we see ourselves plotting against ourselves, it finally all makes sense.

MattAbroad

This has been a great thread, I recognize my own overthinking in what a lot of you guys are saying. I have the same tendency to "Why?" a situation to death, causing "paralysis by analysis." The more experience I gain, though, the clearer the solution to so many of my different challenges becomes: Just Do It.
I focus on a couple of relatively small hang-ups I have with AA in order to delay looking for a sponsor and working the steps, but I know I should Just Do It.
I procrastinate on applying for jobs because I'm unsatisfied with my resume or cover letter, constantly putting off submitting them for reasons unknown when I should Just Do It.
I get overwhelmed with my to-do list and begin to freak out about how out of control my day may get, when I should just look at the first item and Just Do It.
I guess what I mean to say is that I'm the type to walk around the pool, dipping my toe occasionally in to check the temperature, debating whether I should walk down the shallow end stairs, and generally making a much bigger deal out of the situation than it deserves. In reality I should just listen to everybody having a good time in the deep end, telling me to dive in and join them, and Just Do It.

FreeOwl

hey Matt...

just do it.

various step 1 worksheets and questions for recovery 12 step work

trachemys

^5 freeowl, thank you

trachemys

^5 freeowl, thank you, fine with me that it posted twice