SuePee

Tonight I am feeling totally and utterly exhausted and washed out - and am over the moon about it. That sounds strange but it's a 'natural tiredness'.

Last Friday night I did an evening of looking after the people of the town who have partied hard and need water, sobering up, helping to cabs home etc (voluntary role). I got home about 2:30am, drunk a bottle of wine and watched a film, went to bed, woke up about 7:45am and got up, did nothing all day, drank in the evening, about an hours sleep that night, did nothing Sunday, drank that afternoon, maybe two hours sleep. My last drink (ever) was 5 pm that day - 150 hours ago.

This Friday I did an extra shift of the voluntary work, got home about 3am. Watched a TV show is recorded while drinking flavoured water, got to bed about 4 am. Woke up at 9 am, lazed in bed as I deserved it until about 11 am, nice easy day until 5 pm when headed out to parents as going out for meal. Relaxing meal drinking water & lime followed by coffee. We got home around 8:30 pm and - at 9:30 pm I am in bed as I am totally washed out.

The big difference is I am genuinely, naturally tired. No chemical, artificial basis to my tiredness. I've had a much more enjoyable Saturday. I can remember clearly every conversation I've had with my son. And I can feel I'm going to sleep like a log tonight - no waking up about 1 am and spending the rest of my night 'beating myself up' for being weak.

Why oh why has it taken me so long to'get it'!!!!

Soberwolf

Suepee i love this post i always say a good tired too i know exactly what you mean

Well done Sue

SoberLeigh

Way to go, SuePee. A true and earned exhaustion can feel so good; you should sleep beautifully.

Sasha4

I'm struggling with sleep at the moment as I feel worried and down.
But your post reminds me of how nice it feels to get in bed and feel worn out after a day being busy and active.

I hope my tiredness comes back!

SuePee

Besides a quick trip to the loo I slept from 9:30pm until 8 am. The headache that 'lurked' since my last drink has almost gone. I'm thinking about the week ahead rather than when I can get my next drink (I can feel a slight 'niggle' about that in the back of my mind but I'm not giving it any headspace).

I really hope this doesn't come over as 'I'm alright Jack'. I do feel very very lucky with how 'easy' my journey has been (so far) and I really do feel for everyone who is struggling. I'm just shocked at how this is going for me but can't share with anyone else x

Thepatman

I love the "not giving it any headspace"

I do the same. As soon as my AV starts mumbling I close the door shut. In the past I would have internal conversations with my addiction. Now, it's talk to the hand!

BernieE

You've had a great start to your sober journey, well done!

Tonymblue

I hear you. Natural tired does feel good. A good nights sleep fixes it. Drunk tired cant be fixed.

brynn

I love this sue! I'm beginning to enjoy natural sleep again, too! I had forgotten what it was like! Thanks so much for posting this, you're doing great!

pupkin

Wow Sue, I just posted something similar and then found this. I'm with you completely: exhaustion earned is so much sweeter than exhaustion poured out of a bottle. Keep up the great work!

SoberComposer

That's been my main strategy against addiction, that and not drinking ;-)! Awesome post!!

JanieJ

You're doing so great, Suepee.

Glad you are enjoying it, and with such a great attitude too