My addictive personality....
My addictive personality....
Since I stopped drinking, I have been thinking about myself & how I got to this point. You see, it never dawned on me that I had an addictive personality even BEFORE I started drinking.
It all started with codependency for a long time. That within itself is like an addiction but with people. I need for someone to need me. I didn't care who if you fit the basic criteria for me. I needed to be liked & admired by others, that was the only way to thrive.
Then, it's like I became a love addict. Again, another addiction with people. My family used to joke with me saying that I was a serial monogamist. I would have a boyfriend for a long time, break up, & have a new boyfriend within a month or two. Sometimes I would leave one guy for another.
Alcohol came into the picture in 2008 when my husband and I started dating. I could tell he had a drinking problem off the bat, but my codependent self went into Captain Save-A-Bro mode. BIG.MISTAKE. I thought I could save him if he got with me. I thought if we drank together it would be a bonding thing for us. I thought I was immune to alcohol abuse because I never really drank before. I was oh so wrong in many ways.
I have learnerd so much on SR. I am becoming more aware of myself & how my addictive personality manifests itself. I think I need to start going to CODA meetings again as part of my recovery. I don't need another person as a self destructive project.
It all started with codependency for a long time. That within itself is like an addiction but with people. I need for someone to need me. I didn't care who if you fit the basic criteria for me. I needed to be liked & admired by others, that was the only way to thrive.
Then, it's like I became a love addict. Again, another addiction with people. My family used to joke with me saying that I was a serial monogamist. I would have a boyfriend for a long time, break up, & have a new boyfriend within a month or two. Sometimes I would leave one guy for another.
Alcohol came into the picture in 2008 when my husband and I started dating. I could tell he had a drinking problem off the bat, but my codependent self went into Captain Save-A-Bro mode. BIG.MISTAKE. I thought I could save him if he got with me. I thought if we drank together it would be a bonding thing for us. I thought I was immune to alcohol abuse because I never really drank before. I was oh so wrong in many ways.
I have learnerd so much on SR. I am becoming more aware of myself & how my addictive personality manifests itself. I think I need to start going to CODA meetings again as part of my recovery. I don't need another person as a self destructive project.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i love reading posts like these as there just so honest, well done for being honest about yourself
its such a hard thing for many people to do as we like to try to hide things away from others and put on a silly mask that makes us look normal on the outside
your looking at things now with a new set of eyes so enjoy the journey of discovery
its such a hard thing for many people to do as we like to try to hide things away from others and put on a silly mask that makes us look normal on the outside
your looking at things now with a new set of eyes so enjoy the journey of discovery
i love reading posts like these as there just so honest, well done for being honest about yourself
its such a hard thing for many people to do as we like to try to hide things away from others and put on a silly mask that makes us look normal on the outside
your looking at things now with a new set of eyes so enjoy the journey of discovery
its such a hard thing for many people to do as we like to try to hide things away from others and put on a silly mask that makes us look normal on the outside
your looking at things now with a new set of eyes so enjoy the journey of discovery
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