cheburg

I am new to the process and just acquired the big red book and other thin paperback book about ACoA. I began reading them a few days ago and I sit 1/2 laughing, 1/2 crying saying "This is me" I wonder why with going to counselors over the years and most recently a marriage counselor that I continued to go to even after divorce that nobody every pushed me in this direction. I know it is ultimately my responsibility but when you are in a therapists office trying to be honest... What did prompt me to look into this is simply exhaustion. It feels so hard to be me and I don't think I can do it another 30 years. By the end of my day I am a tired mess because of all the sh*t going on in my head. (I am not in any way suicidal, this is just a way for me to explain my exhaustion with myself)

I am happy that there seems to be hope that I can change some of my problematic thinking but I am also kind of sad for myself that it took until I am 43 to realize I can't go on anymore. It hasn't been easy up to this point.

I do have a question for those who are developing better management skills. -Any tips on how to deal with extreme anxiety and then depression. Some days I am down in the dumps, dead inside. Other days a stressful event or piece of news at work will throw me into a panic that lasts several days. I've explained before but it is like I am losing everything and will be homeless and alone and have no identity because my work is going to fail and close because of some bad news (And bad news isn't hard to find) Any quick fixed for these attacks? They are wearing on me. Any tips or tricks will be appreciated.

happybeingme

Hi! Welcome to the wonderful dysfunctional world of Adult Children. You are not alone. I suffer from chronic depression and situational anxiety. So, for me medication for the depression and cbt for the anxiety help a lot.

Stick around there are great people here

Kialua

Welcome. I'm sorry the professionals didn't have this information. That is really interesting, you would think they should. For me letting go and letting God is what really worked. I used to have panic attacks when I was in Art School. The doctor gave me valium which I threw out after trying one. The last thing I needed was drugs after a history of drinking. I centered myself around God and Jesus Christ as my higher power and meditated on peaceful scriptures. The panic attacks quit as I peacefully prayed through them. It was what worked for me. I was very young and just coming from an abusive alcoholic home and learning to walk on my own two feet and sort out the world and as much as my family of origin life was scary, the real world was bigger scarier place. Learning to let go and let God was a relief for me but it was a choice I had to make. I have had to practice that choice and discipline myself to not allow the chaos thoughts to take over and accept that I can't control the situations that stress me.

irisgardens

I was about your age when I 'woke up' to the fact that ACOA issues were in my life...and now going through another tough spot...as life is hard and new things have come up from deeper down. Glad that I worked on it as soon as things came up and trusting God to take me through (I am exhausted as well...but choose to intentionally believe that if I am brought to it; I can get through it). There have been multiple real life traumas as well as other situations where I was in crisis...and am regaining my ability to feel thankful for these situations as they help me learn new things about life...and get through things.

It doesn't feel simple or easy and it isn't...but I have learned that it just takes what it takes...and each of us is very individual...and I have had so much more happiness in the almost 20 years since becoming more aware...as well as the hard stuff to get through...so welcome and so glad you are here.

irisgardens

P.S.--still remember the relief when I found the traits of an ACOA on the internet...so glad you are laughing and crying...a good mix for someone who is growing and changing for the better.