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A relationship with an active drug addict is inherently dysfunctional. They love you but then steal from you, lie at every turn and trick you into believing their lies. When they continue to use drugs even though their children are being neglected and the love of their life is threatening to leave, loved ones ask, “Why is he/she choosing drugs over me?” The natural, albeit faulty, conclusion is that the love is no longer there, or at least it isn’t strong enough to overcome addiction.

The Illusion of Choice

Although understandable, the question misinterprets the nature of addiction. In truth, the addict isn’t choosing anything. Their behavior is reflexive and automatic, based on a physical and psychological need for a substance. Drugs flood the brain with dopamine, training the brain to rely on the relief they provide and to assign greater value to drugs than other things needed for happiness and survival. Over time, addiction changes the chemistry and function of the brain, robbing the user of control and thus taking away the possibility of choice.

More here:

Why Drug Addicts Will Always Choose Drugs Over Love | Addiction Recovery

Eauchiche

Very helpful article. Many thanks!!!
I just recently, over the Thanksgiving holiday, "got" that I can't do or refrain from doing anything that will help my addict. Nothing works.

Nice to know that the influence I DO have is what I am already doing.

Thanks again!