Diysherman

I did some Christmas shopping today, let me tell you it felt good to buy something other than a bundle. but I still catch myself not wanting to spend money on normal things.For example when I was active I would be shopping and go to buy something and be like "NOPE" that $10 could be spent on a bag. I would spend every last dollar on drugs. Now I'm clean, and I still am thinking that way. today I had to force myself to drop $70 on a lay-a-way for my niece. I finally (after a hour in the store) put the money in the clerks hand. its just crazy how I conditioned my self to be like that.

Diysherman

and Its not like I want to use. I know this will go away with time but man! its anoying

LBrain

sounds like you are still on edge sherman, are you doing meetins or something else?

keep working it. It feels good to not have cash earmarked for something you don't need anymore.

MissOverIt

I find myself doing the same thing with food. I used to eat little and very specific things to make caloric room for the booze. I have to remind myself that I can enjoy a full meal or eat that cookie!

Weasel1966

It took me a long time to feel ok spending money on normal stuff. It will pass but for me it lasted months.

Diysherman

Yeah I go to meetings. have a sponsor and just completed step one( which was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. My sponsor had me answer a million questions about my disease,took me like 5 hours total). I really don't think about using until I go to pay for something I'm like "food??? I don't need that! There's more important things to buy." I never really thought money was a trigger for me until today.

Diysherman

I know what u mean. I need to start treating myself better. With some good food.