Xmas shopping
Xmas shopping
I did some Christmas shopping today, let me tell you it felt good to buy something other than a bundle. but I still catch myself not wanting to spend money on normal things.For example when I was active I would be shopping and go to buy something and be like "NOPE" that $10 could be spent on a bag. I would spend every last dollar on drugs. Now I'm clean, and I still am thinking that way. today I had to force myself to drop $70 on a lay-a-way for my niece. I finally (after a hour in the store) put the money in the clerks hand. its just crazy how I conditioned my self to be like that.
I find myself doing the same thing with food. I used to eat little and very specific things to make caloric room for the booze. I have to remind myself that I can enjoy a full meal or eat that cookie!
Yeah I go to meetings. have a sponsor and just completed step one( which was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. My sponsor had me answer a million questions about my disease,took me like 5 hours total). I really don't think about using until I go to pay for something I'm like "food??? I don't need that! There's more important things to buy." I never really thought money was a trigger for me until today.
I know what u mean. I need to start treating myself better. With some good food.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)