Katchie

He just walked in from work and it obvious he's drunk. I left the livingroom w/o a word and I'm in my bedroom with the door shut. I'm sure he thinks he's slick and it's gone unnoticed. I'm going to clean my bathroom and piddle around until it's time to leave for the game. I hope he just passes out.

Raider

I'm sorry

hopeful4

I'm sorry Katchie. I remember those days, when I finally realized that engaging was not even worth it.

I hope he passes out too.

Many hugs XXX

Shutterbug1

I'm so sorry. It's such an awful feeling to be deceived and manipulated by someone you are in love with. Even when you are not duped, it still hurts that they are trying to get one over on you.

Been there more than once. Once, my ex peed his pants he was so drunk and right there in front of me, with pee all over his pants, he denied over and over again that he had been drinking.

yeah...ok

I often felt i was transitioning from girlfriend to mommy and i didn't like it at all.

I'm glad this community can be here for you. take care

dandylion

katchie....he isn't drinking at you...or, even to try to pull "tricks" on you (although he doesn't want to get caught, obviously). He is drinking because he is an alcoholic and has an overwhelming compulsion to drink---to quiet the war going on in his head. He is controlled by the disease, at this point. He is doing what alcoholics do.

Try not to personalize it as something he deliberately does to hurt you. Otherwise, the anger and hurt and resentment will eat you up. You will need to detach and protrect yourself.

dandylion

thotful

The drinking and the "hiding" of said drinking is nothing personal at all. Denial is like a brick wall in front of their own sanity. It's hurting them just as much as it is hurting you. Unfortunately, the disease is constantly convincing them that it doesn't exist. Since we can't cure our loved one, the disease will win every battle. It's not their smarts - it's not them being clever. It's their disease. the denial can be so powerful that they are not even aware of their behavior (their feelings are buried so deep they no longer see it themselves, and when they try, the disease is there to kick them down - and hide ALL OF IT - away from them and certainly away from you). The sanity of others is a deadly adversary for the disease and it's greatest weapon is denial. There's really nothing we can do as loved ones if the denial is present. We can't convince them they have a problem, but we can certainly recognize how we feel about their drinking. We can fix ourselves. Be aware as you can of how you're feeling and work on that. That is where you will find an enormous amount of opportunity. And it's far more satisfying to work with someone (yourself) who is willing!

Just my thoughts. It's really hard to detach when my loved one is being really rude to me and I'm trying not to take it personal and give myself some space.

luvcaitlin

I can so relate. I remember when my ex used to come home drunk from "cutting firewood", visiting a friend or just get drunk at home, but hid the beer so I wouldn't see him drinking so much. All I could do or we (my daughter and I) would do was walk on eggshells and tick him off and wait for him to pass out. It was not good. I am divorced now and don't have to deal with it. When I miss him, I always go back and think of what he put us through and is still denying to to this day!