cheburg

i wake at 3am, or 4am and start to think of problems. Usually work related. This happens a few times a week. More if something particularly stressful is going on. I then take every little problem to its worst possible outcome. I usually lose everything and have to beg for a job washing cars or stocking grocery shelves. By this time there is no way I will fall back asleep and I am a zombie the next day.

Anyone else do this? It always seems to be work related. Never about kids or relationships.

Is this an ACA thing? Ideas? Help?

And! Went to first local ACoA meeting. I am hopeful that I will benefit from them but due to schedule can't go very often.

happybeingme

I dont know if its an ACA thing or not but I was very much the same way. I had to learn how to stop it because as a recovering alcoholic and having depression it just about ruined me to be like that.

Someone once told me "dont pay interest on borrowed worry". Made huge sense. So, I try to spend time calmly dealing with my racing thoughts. I ask myself questions like:

Is this a valid worry to have?
Is it my responsibility?
Can I do anything about it?

So, I try to be pracitical about the worries. Take notes so I dont forget the important things and release to the universe those worries that arent mine to have

ajarlson

I don't know if any studies have been done but it does seem that sleep issues are common with ACoA's. I gave in long ago and take lunesta every night. I wish I didn't have to, but I need sleep. BTW if you can get by without taking sleep aids I recommend avoiding them. I would probably have to take a couple months or more off work to be able to get off them at this point.

Hope4Life

I used to wake up and glance at the clock by my bed and it would just make me unable to get back to sleep because I was worrying about the next day and how I was going to function at work. I finally removed the clock from my nightstand so I couldn't see it and started sleeping better.

makomago

In the Big Red Book (AcoA fellowship text book) it says "From the non alcoholic parent we learn helplessness, WORRY, black and white thinking, being a victim and self hate" (My emphasis)

I've no idea why some people can't/don't sleep, but the worry and the 'taking things to there worst conclusion' is something I identify with. Although in my case it was rarely a cause of waking at night. Horrendous nightmares are what did it for me btw.

I've heard/read the 'worst conclusion' part called catastrophising (John Bradshaw - Family Systems book I think).

It is something that happens to me rarely these days, but what I used to do in such circumstance and still do for that matter is recite the serenity prayer, if nothing else as a reminder that the future hasn't happened, I have no control over it, except to say my part is simply doing the next right thing as far as I'm capable... from that part onwards the outcome, the result is out of my control.

My opinion, for whatever it's worth (so take it with a pinch of salt) is that it is a common thought pattern in ACoAs - certainly with me and based on what others have shared in ACoA meetings with others...

A friend of mine once said... "you've got your left leg in the past, your right leg in the future and you're 'squatting' over your immediate present i.e. now"

... He's a nice guy even if he's a little crude with is imagery, ok I've repeated it so I'm a little crude too. Apology.

Kialua

Some things that have helped me get to sleep

Ocean waves cd on a loop
Very dark room
Same bedtime
No looking at the clock till it rings
No caffeine after 6 pm
Reading bible and prayers, let go and let God

Although with the amount of snoring my husband does it is difficult to sleep all night. But I do stay in bed. If the room is dark enough so it doesn't look any different than with my eyes closed that helps. Going to sleep is a discipline like any other self help in my life. Figure out what works for you and discipline. Worry is a habit like any other habit I had to find a way to release it to God.

I have heard of others keeping a pen and paper to write down their thoughts, and that lets them let go, but that would just wake me up and cement the problem in my mind.

The other thing I can't do is listen to the radio because I will sing along, keep the beat with my toes and never go to sleep

irisgardens

go through it too...especially about work but not totally limited (anymore) to work. i know i catastrophize when the stress is too much...lost a child to SIDS 24 years ago and although I have done a lot of inside work for all the years since...long story...details not important...and have had good times...when certain patterns in my life reappear...i really catastrophize over work...and it has been impacted as well. therapist says that I have been going and staying as strong as possible for a very long time (he has known me for 19 years)--but that my family situation (immediate) and some family of origin issues that I woke up too about alcoholism about 11 years ago...and made the mistake of speaking transparently and honestly...about my issue with my child (not adult then) led to me being shunned and created another trauma to work on. Still working on it.