Frustrated
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Frustrated
His sounds totally ridiculous and trivial to a lot of other stuff people are going through on here but I'm really pissed off at present.
Since stopping drinking, I have been playing a lot of PS4 specifically fifa15 online and I keep losing. I play it a lot. I'm finding that I'm taking every loss really badly, I also play football on a mon and thurs with friends and am losing a lot if games.
I'm approaching every game thinking it's going to be different but still end up with this really frustrating , desperate , annoying feeling that I'm not good enough.
It's driving me insane and effecting sleep
Since stopping drinking, I have been playing a lot of PS4 specifically fifa15 online and I keep losing. I play it a lot. I'm finding that I'm taking every loss really badly, I also play football on a mon and thurs with friends and am losing a lot if games.
I'm approaching every game thinking it's going to be different but still end up with this really frustrating , desperate , annoying feeling that I'm not good enough.
It's driving me insane and effecting sleep
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 189
I hear you on the frustration. It's ok to step away from it. Have you tried playing and old game that you haven't played in a while? Or do you have an old game system and play on that. I know that in my very spare limited time just dig out the old NES and play some old school
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I have an Xbox 360 and used to play a variety of games on that.
It's the actual football I'm playing too, it's at the point that I don't even want to turn up! Should I take a break from both of them ? Football and ps4?
It's the actual football I'm playing too, it's at the point that I don't even want to turn up! Should I take a break from both of them ? Football and ps4?
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Not at all, I struggle with coming away from something even when it is bad for me.
Since stopping drinking I have been eating A LOT of junk and drinking A LOT of Pepsi / coke etc none of it is helping but I find it difficult to stop when I've started.
The issue appears to be how to regulate the thought process
Since stopping drinking I have been eating A LOT of junk and drinking A LOT of Pepsi / coke etc none of it is helping but I find it difficult to stop when I've started.
The issue appears to be how to regulate the thought process
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think everyone goes through this to a greater or lesser extent Stewy.
If it's worrying you then you need to do something about it.
Why not think about some real sports...there are all levels of competition out there?
D
If it's worrying you then you need to do something about it.
Why not think about some real sports...there are all levels of competition out there?
D
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Stewy84 
but still end up with this really frustrating , desperate , annoying feeling that I'm not good enough.
BUT...those emotions right there? Somehow..someway we come face to face with that in early sobriety and recovery.
A new relationship in early recovery was the avenue of expression in my case...perhaps a game is in yours...
You will have to deal with this in sobriety. The good news is...you can..and you will...just stay with it.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by Stewy84
I'm approaching every game thinking it's going to be different but still end up with this really frustrating , desperate , annoying feeling that I'm not good enough.
I went through stages of being online all the time, shopping, running, drinking diet coke, eating sugar, drinking tons of coffee... all of it was an effort to "control" myself and my immediate surrounds so as not to feel too overwhelmed by my disturbing emotions in early sobriety.
The good news is you can learn to effectively deal with your emotions and your reactions to your emotions, as well as your reactions to external stimuli. This is the big challenge of recovery
Things that have helped me: cutting back caffeine, staying mindful and aware of how I spend my time, moderate exercise instead of obsessive over-exercising, cutting back sugar and junk foods and eating whole foods, and generally learning to balance my day by being more adaptive and learning to "switch" tasks more quickly. I tend to get stuck on things. When I am stuck, it really hurts me emotionally/mentally. I have to back away from whatever it is I am currently obsessing over and take a reality check
learning to live
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,665
Stewy - A lot of good advice here.
Think about it this way....we are alcoholics. We got addictive personalities. We have this desire for control.
Removing drinking is JUST the starting point. After that we are faced with ourselves; defects and all. And it sucks. We have to learn we don't really have control over anything except our own minds and how we react to things that are gonna happen if we like it or not because that's life, ya know. We can also help our addictive personality by reaching some balance.
The only way out is through with anything.
As Jennie said so perfectly you have to find that balance to begin recovery. My mission right now is to find that balance. Its been really hard but I cant lose hope that if I keep trying and falling and getting back up things will begin to make sense in recovery one day. As a bonus I just might start liking myself as well.
I spent almost 15 years getting lost so my common sense tells me that balance I am searching so desperately for is not gonna come in 30 days, ya know.
Hang in there. You are not alone! Go easy on yourself though. You aren't drinking and that is a victory in itself.
PS Does the game have like an "easy, beginner" level....I bet you could beat the heck outta that one?!!? LOL! Smile, its gonna be OK!
Think about it this way....we are alcoholics. We got addictive personalities. We have this desire for control.
Removing drinking is JUST the starting point. After that we are faced with ourselves; defects and all. And it sucks. We have to learn we don't really have control over anything except our own minds and how we react to things that are gonna happen if we like it or not because that's life, ya know. We can also help our addictive personality by reaching some balance.
The only way out is through with anything.
As Jennie said so perfectly you have to find that balance to begin recovery. My mission right now is to find that balance. Its been really hard but I cant lose hope that if I keep trying and falling and getting back up things will begin to make sense in recovery one day. As a bonus I just might start liking myself as well.
I spent almost 15 years getting lost so my common sense tells me that balance I am searching so desperately for is not gonna come in 30 days, ya know.
Hang in there. You are not alone! Go easy on yourself though. You aren't drinking and that is a victory in itself.
PS Does the game have like an "easy, beginner" level....I bet you could beat the heck outta that one?!!? LOL! Smile, its gonna be OK!
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Cheers for the wealth of advice again everyone!!
Yes, I really should celebrate the victory of continuing sobriety and I need to get into the habit of doing this each day, I have made a good start.
I think I need to learn to just go with the flow and not obsess over a specific task, activity or hobby. Fifa is online play so you come across all kinds of players , I just need to put the whole ps4 thing in a mental box and not see it as something personal if I get beat, same goes for when I play real life football. I am really competitive though and I do think a certain level is healthy but I have been extremely hard on myself of late, I just don't like losing lol
Yes, I really should celebrate the victory of continuing sobriety and I need to get into the habit of doing this each day, I have made a good start.
I think I need to learn to just go with the flow and not obsess over a specific task, activity or hobby. Fifa is online play so you come across all kinds of players , I just need to put the whole ps4 thing in a mental box and not see it as something personal if I get beat, same goes for when I play real life football. I am really competitive though and I do think a certain level is healthy but I have been extremely hard on myself of late, I just don't like losing lol
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After some pondering, and a little bit of research I've decided to stop playing FIFA for the time being.
I believe there may be an element of scripting and handicapping in online play, I've played enough games now to know how it works.
An example is that you could be playing against a really poorly rated team with slow players, when on your team you have highly rated players yet the gameplay seems like it is the other way around.
The deal breaker for me is that I don't think the game is measured on skill and ability alone, there appear to be other issues that determine the way the game is played and the outcome / results.
I've figured I'm best getting a game that has levels / missions like COD or assassins creed, that way you can feel, see and sense you are progressing (or not as the case may be)
Much like trying to stay sober I guess
I believe there may be an element of scripting and handicapping in online play, I've played enough games now to know how it works.
An example is that you could be playing against a really poorly rated team with slow players, when on your team you have highly rated players yet the gameplay seems like it is the other way around.
The deal breaker for me is that I don't think the game is measured on skill and ability alone, there appear to be other issues that determine the way the game is played and the outcome / results.
I've figured I'm best getting a game that has levels / missions like COD or assassins creed, that way you can feel, see and sense you are progressing (or not as the case may be)
Much like trying to stay sober I guess
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