Meraviglioso

Ugh, I was up at the crack of dawn to get ready, get the kids up, fed, dressed, etc. They were not cooperating with their clothes and we just barely made it in time for school. Then, as soon as I dropped the second one off the skies opened and it was pouring. Right at the moment I had to run a million errands, in and out of the car. I had so much to do, my time was down to the minutes, nothing could go wrong in order for me to fit it all in.
I cannot even begin to explain how annoying difficult everything, and I mean everything is here in Italy. The bureaucracy is astonishing. Like stuff that would take 5 minutes to take care of in the US takes hours, days…….
Anyway, I got to my last stop and hit a road block with not having some random piece of paper to complete my electricity contract. I have been living in my house since Jan, changed the bills to my name months ago, have been paying, etc. and now they send me a 10 page contract? Didn't I do the contract when I did those other 10 pages when I signed up?????
Anyway, I couldn't get that done, but the girls were so nice and gave me an email and said I could email the documents instead of coming all the way back to town. I got lucky there.
Now I am frantically trying to prepare for this free English course I am offering at the local library. The tv station is coming to film it!!! I cannot even handle it, I don't want to be on tv.
Then tonight I have to race home and get my kids- dinner, bath, bed. After that I need to bake a birthday cake for my oldest and do some more cooking for his party tomorrow. I am definitely going to make time for one of those online AA meetings though. I am terrified I'm going to cave tonight and stop for wine. I can't, I've been going strong. I am just not handling this stress very well. Thanks for listening/reading, I feel better having typed it out.

biminiblue

Good job coming here. Look at these things rationally, though. Everyone has little tasks such as these that must be completed. It's a fact of modern life.

Okay, the rain? You totally could have prayed to stop that.

TV, ooooh. That actually sounds interesting. You're going to be great!

I know for me, I have to not over-schedule myself. Some things have to be put off for another day. Sounds like you may have over-scheduled the day. Learning to say "no" has been a super-freeing thing for me.

((hug)) - Soldier on, sister.

strategery

Meravigilioso, stress is a huge trigger for me too. I am not sure if this will help you, but last time I had really strong cravings I said to myself, "I want to drink today because....". Just vocalizing it, thinking about the situations and how these emotions were driving me to drink was very powerful. It also made me realize some of the reasons I wanted to drink were absurd and wouldn't solve any of the problems I had. It was only going to make things worse.
That is awesome that a tv crew is coming by to film it. You should be proud of that! Hang in there!

luvmygirls

Please keep posting, and whatever you do, don't stop for the wine! You're doing so great.

RE: being on TV, I've done that and my strategy is always to just not ever watch it!

Soberwolf

Hi Mera your heading said it all for me your doing exellent do not give up on yourself at this point

when our back is against the wall we have to reup that inner strenght to not give up to not give in

i personallly dont think you will drink as your doing all the right things you know where that road leads

and our worst day sober is better than our best day drunk

Got so much faith in you if you want to talk pm me

Your doing the right things Mera lean on us were always here

ChickChick

Hi Mera. I posted yesterday when I was afraid I would drink and it worked for me, I hope it does for you too. Can you drink some calming tea or put some lavendar oil on your temples? You do sound like a super busy woman today! I hope things slow down for you soon.
Come post again if you are feeling tempted! We are here for you!

HeartsAfire

You got this, girlfriend & we've got you.

Look at you go - growing in your sobriety. A few weeks ago you would've drank instead of coming here 1st. But YOU DIDN'T DRINK!!!!! Do you realize what progress that is?! I'm so proud of you!

Stay close when you can & somehow, someway, take some time for YOU today.

Hugs & love!!!

P. S. You're beautiful (inside & out). That'll will shine thru on TV.

doggonecarl

And drinking won't make change a single thing that stresses you, won't remove one bureaucratic hurdle. But being stressed out is a good excuse to drink.

Don't.

Looking at your day, perhaps you are taking on too much. Focus on your recovery, not taking on the world. Just my thoughts...

Anna

Hi Mera,

Can you put the TV filming off to another week until you feel more settled in the English course you're teaching?

I hope you manage to get through the day, sober and strong.

SoberLeigh

Mera - so glad you came here and posted instead of drinking!!!

I echo the others; try and simply your life where possible.

Your story about your kids brought back memories; I remember (oh so long ago) feeling just like you when I was trying so hard to keep the train on the track and having the kids refuse to cooperate. Hard to believe but I miss those days.

Treerat66

Hi Mera, you're doing great!

Venecia

Hi, Mera.

Super proud of you. I have to agree with HeartsAfire -- there was a time when this kind of stress would have resulted in a remorseful post. This is progress.

Hold on to the mindfulness you're experiencing. And practice whatever it is that makes you feel peaceful once the kids are in bed. Meditation, reading, whatever.

You can do this, Mera. You really can.

V.

fini

Mera,

stop. breathe. deeply. and again.

just saying...
i've been where it sounds like you are, and i needed it all to be the way i wanted. i needed to bake the cake and do the cooking and....i needed to do it perfectly.
i didn't, of course. but i couldn't NOT.

later, i learned it's okay to not be able to do it ALL, or perfectly.

earlyriser

Tomorrow morning is going to come soon enough, no matter what. Think how you want to feel when you open your eyes to the new day. You can wake and have the realization you are not hungover, you made it through. This will likely bring an unstoppable smile to your face. Or you can wake up to a hangover, remorse, and misery.

That's what I think about when I have any kind of thought of having a drink.

Good luck with your day. You got this.

Earlyriser

Ruby2

Phew. Reading all you did made me tired. I've had days like that. Taking a deep breath as already suggested helps me. Lather, rinse, repeat tomorrow. Can you buy a birthday cake? I gave up years ago because otherwise it was too stressful. But mostly have fun with the party. It used to be do stressful hosting birthday parties until this year. I gave up, figured people were here to celebrate and I allowed myself to have fun. Far less stressful.

Does the tv shoot have to be now or can it be switched?

Hang in there. You are doing great.

Ruby2

I wanted to say I gave up being stressed about making things work perfectly at the parties, not gave up the parties. Typing on tiny phone screen.

Meraviglioso

Thanks for all your responses. I just pulled over to the side of the road and logged in on my phone because my mind was screaming for me to stop for "just one glass of wine". I came here instead. My stomach is in knots. I'm not a shy person by any means, and my Italian is actually quite advanced, nearly fluency. But the tv people came (arranged by the library, not me) and filmed me teaching English then interviewed me in Italian. Ugh. They just came right up mid lesson, I didn't have time to compose myself. I know I forgot some words that I KNOW, I know them, but I got nervous and forgot them. Im so insecure about my Italian, I wish I wasnt.

luvmygirls

My thoughts exactly (although I'm still waiting to learn that last part!)

Coldfusion

Meraviglioso, you are AWESOME! I am impressed with all you do in a day. You could not be doing this with drinking even one glass of wine.

Thanks for posting!

sprout50

Well, at least the tv part is over with. You can put a check mark on that box and then forget about it.

You are doing great Mera! Soon enough, this stressful day will be over with and you can be proud of how you handled it.