anonnn

I have posted a thread about my boyfriend who was in rehab for heroin addiction & is now is a halfway house.

Here's a little bit about what I have to deal with,

I have always had really bad depression & anxiety. I will get worked up over the SMALLEST situation. For example... If I have to make a phone call to pay a bill or something as small as that, I will literally have a panic attack. Why? I have absolutely NO idea...

When I went to go visit my boyfriend in rehab (about a 13 hour drive) I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting for him to come out. It was a month before the last time I saw him. I literally started shaking, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sit still. I almost just walked outside & left. I was just so nervous to see him... But really, why was I THAT nervous to see him?

Anyways... Now that he has been gone for a total of 2 months now... My depression & anxiety have worsened. I noticed I smoke a lot more cigs... like over a pack a day. When ever I feel I have a slight panic attack coming on I feel the need to smoke a cig... even if I just had one like 2 minutes ago. I find myself smoking a lot more weed than I used to. I used to smoke weed on occasion (I wasen't a huge pot head) But now I find whenever i am really stressed about to freak out I will go & get high which has been every day. I also noticed I have started drinking more. My roommate & I will have a few drinks on the weekend etc... But now I don't even want to casually drink. My intentions are getting drunk. Because i'm tired of feeling like s*** all the time. I'll even drink when I come home from work & get buzzed enough that I don't really know whats going on.

Mainly, I have started to do anything to take my stress & pain away... & i'm really afraid i'm about to go down the wrong path.... I have tried to stop it before that happens. But with my boyfriend being gone, my depression & anxiety is much much worse. Especially the fact that I love him. & he is pretty much playing me. Telling me he wants to be with me... but he's not coming back home. Telling me he'll be back. But ignoring me. Implying to me that he has cheated on me.... But swears up & down it was a joke between him & a "rehab buddy".

Mind you, this is not all because of him. I would do things like this on occasion. But I have so much stress going on right now that it has gotten much worse (boyfriend currently in rehab, ex boyfriend from a year ago threatening me, came to my house spit on my car & kicked my tires, threw shoes at me, bills, family).... my boyfriends mom suggested that I go to counciling & get put on anti-depressants & anxiety medication. Because she went to visit him with me. & she even noticed how bad it is. I didn't realize how bad i was untill others around me started noticing it. & now i am worried. I don't beleive in anti-depressants. I have heard nothing but bad things about them. I like the way alcohol & weed releive my stress. But I don't want it to take over my life. I am ify about e-cigs... But thats not my biggest problem. I feel that counciling won't help. I don't know what to do.

chicory

Hi anon and welcome.

first off, counselling does help people. antidepressants have helped countless people, including myself, and alcohol kills people every day, and ruins countless lives. Pot has ruined lives.

I encourage you to try counselling. Your anxiety can be helped. Alcohol and pot will only make those things worse if you get addicted to them.

please, care enough about yourself to get help. there are many who have felt as you do, and have been helped.

e-cigs have helped some I know to quit cigs.

You can have a better life, starting today. Just believe that its possible, because it is.

lucky236

I would try to quit alcohol and weed and see how you feel. They could actually worsen your anxiety and depression. How about trying some sort of relaxation like yoga or walking to reduce the stress you feel.

Hope7726

I have always suffered from anxiety. Depression off and on. I urge you to consider counseling. Sometimes you have to try a few before you find a good fit but once you do, it helps tremendously. In my opinion. I take meds but if you would really prefer not to your counselor can give you tips on how to manage your anxiety. There are a lot of books out there about managing anxiety as well. If it were me, I would want to get this under control before my drinking and smoking became unmanageable.

Hope7726

I have always suffered from anxiety. Depression off and on. I urge you to consider counseling. Sometimes you have to try a few before you find a good fit but once you do, it helps tremendously. In my opinion. I take meds but if you would really prefer not to your counselor can give you tips on how to manage your anxiety. There are a lot of books out there about managing anxiety as well. If it were me, I would want to get this under control before my drinking and smoking became unmanageable.