babycat

Hi all, I usually am in the alcoholism forums, but I could really use some advice here right now.
First, let me start off by saying I am an alcoholic. Off and on active this past year, I know I have my problems but this is not about me right now.
I lost my little brother last year on June 28th to heroin. My family is still reeling from it. We are a very close family consisting of my 2 older and 2 younger brothers, myself and my wonderful parents. We had a blissful, happy, close, Mormon upbringing. How 4 out of 5 of us ended up addicts is still a mystery to me and I feel so sad for my parents who did everything in their power to steer us in the right direction.

One of my older brothers has been dealing with an addiction to pills for several years now as well as fentanyl (spelling?) patches. He got help and was clean for a few months but recently, we could tell he was using again. He was initially prescribed this **** and I am so beyond angry about it. He is using again. I can see clear through his lies (I am an addict too after all). Also, he is apparently taking the patches by mouth which according to my research is far worse. He claims it is for his pain, yet not ONCE do I ever hear him complain of pain. I'm a massage therapist, come see ME if you are in pain!
I CANNOT lose another brother. My family just can't take it.
I want to talk to him but I don't know what to say. I am so scared for him and so sad for my parents. He is so defensive.
Any ideas?

Ann

Welcome to this forum, Babycat, we have many double winners here (those who have seen addiction from both sides) and you are not alone.

Take a read around, there is a lot of helpful information here, and you will see that we cannot control our addicted loved ones any more than they can control their drug use.

I used to make sure my son had a list of places that could help him, meetings and detox and rehabs...the Salvation Army has several very good programs and they are free, so that when he was ready he would know where the "real" help was.

We are so emotionally involved that we sometimes feel that "we" can be the ones to save them, but in the end only they can help themselves.

Many of us here found meetings helped us deal with all this. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that are about us, about finding our balance and learning to live a healthy life...regardless of how our addicted loved ones are doing.

My prayers go out for your brother and all you who love him.

Hugs

hopeful4

Hello and welcome!

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother, how very tragic. Your very raw fear comes through loud and clear. I wish I knew the answers. I just want to say that I am here, reading this, supporting you. I will pray for you and for your family. There will be more who will come along with more to say.

babycat

Thank you guys. Like I said, I am so scared, but it just feels good to have someone listen.

zoso77

Hey, welcome to our side of SR.

Fentnyl is some heavy duty sh*t. My AXGF loved those things, and she too orally ingested the patch. That is an extremely dangerous thing to do.

There's nothing you can do. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself, especially where you have been on-and-off active this year. From what you describe, you're self aware enough to know that being active does not serve you well. So you do what you need to do in order to be safe.

I hope for the best regarding your brother.