laureah21

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forums. I came here looking for some answers to my questions.
How did you know when you needed help?
Did you tell people?
What do you do to distract yourself.

I am worried about my drinking habits. I binge drink a bottle of champagne probably two nights a week. With 2-3 glasses the rest of the week.

That may not sound like heaps but it's more the craving I have all the time for a drink. Around lunch time it starts. The will power is so tiring and I am living by myself at the moment which makes it harder. My drinking has escalated this year when I was using it for general anxiety. Now it is starting to worry me. I want to go back to having a glass with friends and not thinking about it every night.

Also I used to get put off by hangovers and now they don't happen to me. I can drink a bottle of champagne and feel relaxed not pissed like other. These things also scare me. Where do I start??

Anna

I was in denial for a long time, but I knew I needed to stop drinking because my life was a mess.

I didn't tell anyone and am glad for that. My recovery has been a very personal journey.

I listen to music, read, walk a lot, whatever works for you.

I think when you begin to use alcohol to self-medicate anxiety or depression, you are crossing the line.

To start, get rid of the alcohol in the house and don't buy more. Make a plan to be doing something different at the time of the day you usually drink. And, remember that stopping drinking is just the beginning because we have to deal with the underlying issues that caused the drinking, such as anxiety.

fantail

It sounds like you're in a really good place to address this. It'll be a lot easier to stop now than it will be later... I wish I'd stopped when I'd first gotten worried rather than waiting for it to get really bad. I would've saved myself a lot of stress and also money

To answer your questions... I started to know I needed help when I was in the same position you're in now. I kept drinking for another couple of years after that though. Then it got bad enough that I would often need to drink to function. When you drink every day, your brain chemistry changes, and after a while I would have to drink even if I didn't want to because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to function properly. It's a scary and terrible position to be in. I finally quit for the first time when I went through a lay off and went on a binge that made me really, horribly sick. Later I tried to go back to moderation, but I've just quit again after I ended up in the same place (sick, scared, angry with myself).

I tell all my friends that I'm not drinking. I just don't tell them that I'm an alcoholic. I don't like labeling myself that way, I think a lot of people don't understand it and it carries a lot of connotations that I don't want to deal with. I want people to take me as I am. So I just tell people my truth without labels: I don't like my relationship with alcohol, I'm happier when I don't drink, when I do drink I party too much so it's easier for me to just not drink at all.

That's just for good friends though. Everyone else, I just don't have a drink and no one ever asks why.

To distract myself: it only feels like distractions in the very beginning, when you're adjusting to having so much more time. Once you get into it, it feels less like I have time to kill and more like I have time to grow into. My alcohol-free brain is way more ambitious than my drunk brain, so I find I always have a million things I want to do. A good anchor for me though is yoga, that helps relieve my anxiety so that I don't crave alcohol.

Stevie1

1: When I realised I could not control my drinking. Like others, I waited way longer than I should have to get serious about quitting. Because, denial. Also, alcoholism in progressive. I actually could "control" my drinking (somewhat) and did so for many years. Until, I absolutely couldn't. And yes, at least in part I was using alcohol to self-medicate.
2: Some. Depends. Actually, most normal people don't really care whether someone else is drinking or not, because it's not that important in their lives. A few close friends, and family, know that I'm an alcoholic. Everyone else just thinks I don't drink, or don't drink much. As the years went on (see above:progressive) I got really, really good at hiding it. A "glass of wine with friends" turned into not drinking with normal people, and either drinking alone, or with other heavy drinkers. Pathetic, really.
3: So far it's not requiring much effort...I'm only recently back on the wagon, and am already finding that just by simply not drinking, I have more energy, hope and interest in life. My house is cleaner, my dogs are getting more walks, I'm hanging out with friends more, I'm more productive at work.

Oh, and yeah - I used to be proud of the fact I could drink people under the table, sleep for a few hours and wake up without a hangover. That was one of my rationales for why I wasn't really an alcoholic. It's not quite so cute when you hit your 50s and look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards, rode hard and put away wet, and no amount of makeup or sleep or hot showers or Visine will fix it!

Did I mention it's progressive? Welcome to SR, and because you're probably young or young-ish, I do want to stress that. If I had quit in my 20s or 30s, my life would have turned out quite differently.

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR Laureah I only told my family but they already knew and my doctor

I like going for walks i love to read to cook i love helping on sr i have a wonderful gf who rocks my world

i Dj altho not in clubs no more i love my music

anything and everything is possible in sobriety i wish you good luck

JanieJ

Welcome, L ! I have been sober for 13 days now,so a newcomer like yourself.

I have known that I needed to quit for some years now. I'm 52 and it was starting to take it 's toll on my health -stomach pains, cramps, fatigue (and looks too , horrible puffy face all the time, over weight, bad skin). Echoing most of the other comments here , I could not control my drinking and I've always known that is not normal.

I've told close family the real reason and friends that I am worried about my health, or that I'm sick of being drunk, all of which is true.

I 'm keeping busy with projects that I have not had time to do because I've been drunk -redecorating my house in the evenings at the moment, and posting/reading on here of course, then reading in bed, which is lovely. I've developed a liking for hot chocolate too. Also taken up swimming again and a bit of evening yoga. I'm saving up the money I would have spent on drink for a holiday with my family.

Good luck on your journey, and very nice to meet you.

Chifan7

Hello and welcome.
I've known for atleast 10 years that I drank way too much, way too frequently. I was quite good at denial. And I wasn't ready to be done. I would pride myself on not puking (ever) and rarely having a hangover that would stop me from drinking the very next day.
I didn't need to tell people. All my friends and family know. My friends are pretty big drinkers and so is most of my family. Which makes quitting a bit more challenging.
As for distraction, every time I've quit for a successful amount of time, I find something I love and try to do that quite a bit. For me, it's golf. I golf all day and never want a drink. That gets expensive, though. Ha. Just try and keep busy, reading or watching movies or whatever it is you enjoy.
Best of luck to you. Read the posts on here. I'm brand new here, too, this place is a Godsend and the members are very supportive.

laureah21

My goodness. Thanks everyone for your advice. I actually feel really glad I found this group. Tonight's a Friday night, normally I would have a drink but I'm going to go to the gym instead. Each day I'm going to try and keep myself busy. Thanks 😀

Rachinator

I knew when i drank too much at night and having horrible hangovers.
I told my mom. I did tell my close friends if they brought it up, or if they brought up boozing, or drinking from stress at work. I would just tell them how long i made it so far. They would just look in astonishment of wow you are committed. To keep myself busy :work, excerise, daughter, electronic scrapping, and video games i forgot SR for motivation

5KRunner

I've known since I was in college a little over a decade ago, but it was so intertwined with other issues that I didn't know what came first, the chicken or the egg. This year I just gave up and sought multiple kinds of help. Alcohol treatment being part of it.

I haven't told anyone over the years, but I have started to lately.

I don't really distract myself; I'm basically working hard to re-design my life so it naturally accommodates my new sobriety.

Tang

I say if you came looking for alcohol support sites, then you have a problem regardless of quantities. The amounts you describe exceed AMA guidelines for healthy consumption. However, as others say you need to be able to answer yes to the question "Do I have a problem?"

This site will provide excellent support.