gratitude28

I know my fears are what make me drink. My #1 fear is death. I don't know why, but I have always been scared to death of dying (pun intended). I'm also afraid of not knowing what the future will bring (who isn't). I'm afraid of being imperfect and doing things wrong. I know these fears are what cause the basis for my having dealt with life by drinking.
Just needed to get this out tonight.
Thanks!
Grat/Beth

Dee74

Hi Beth

I think a fear of dying is very common, particularly in early recovery. I was absolutely convinced I'd done some lethal damage to myself. I eventually had a check up and found I was wrong.

If you haven't had a check up recently, I recommend it

Getting back to my point tho...I was so worried about dying I was missing out on life.

Each day is precious...each day needs to be lived to the max. Carpe Diem.

I always liked the line 'Live each day like it was your last, cos one day you'll be right'.

Live while we can, Grateful

D

KathleenConroy

I think that you are certainly not alone in that fear. I think that especially once you realize that death is a part of our life, it becomes a more serious issue. It becomes something that you think about. It motivates me to make healthier choices though, I suppose we all react a little different.

gracetuesday

I was actually thinking about this the other day - I was scared of dying- yet the very thing I was doing to relieve those fears (drinking till I passed out) actually brought me closer to death...... insanity at its' finest!

For me, not drinking has caused my anxiety level to go WAY down..... whereas before, I lived in panic mode most of the time; now I actually never have those moments of gripping fear.

Sure, death will come - it is a part of life - but, I plan to live each day to the fullest - SOBER.....

I told a friend this week , "I finally feel like I trust the process of life." And, damn, is it better than drinking/passing out/hangover !

Hang in there!

trachemys

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

biminiblue

None of us get out alive - so I think we all have those thoughts. The key is not to dwell on them.

My favorite saying (again) -

Don't torture yourself with your own thoughts.

nuffsEnuff

Good topic to think about. I personally lost my fear of dying through drinking. After sharing at an AA meeting, I was told I am considered a 1%er because I was told by a Dr. that I was within 30 minutes of being dead. I am a type one diabetic and I was actually hospitalized with a blood sugar level of over 1100.

Ive also tried to sober up and failed so many times that at one point I actually thought about people who commit suicide and thought, "I get it, i see why". I quickly shook it off cause that scared me (as it should). Death no longer scares me, not living is what I fear. Thanks for the post, thats something ive never shared and its good to just get it out there.

MIRecovery

I am alive today so today is moving in the right direction

I read the obituaries and I wasn't in them. Today is going to be a good day

If I have one foot in the past and one in the future I will pee all over today

They all say the same thing. We are granted today and nothing more. I plan on not wasting today worrying about tomorrow

Anna

Beth, I know it's hard to let go of the fears, but if you can, you will feel free to live your life as you wish. I lived in fear, in the dark, for a long time and made most decisions in my life based on fear. When I began recovery, I pushed myself to take the step into the light, hence 'dancing in the light'.