james186

You know the ones:

Them: Are you having a drink?

You: No, I'm OK thanks, but I'll have a coffee...

Them: there's no way I'm gonna let you drink coffee on a Friday night

You: haha, no seriously I'm OK...

Them: just have one, you're not driving what's the problem?

You: I'm just not in the mood

Them: You will be after a couple of drinks, chill out...what's a matter with you?!

Blah blah blah, push push push...How do you deal with them? Especially when they're family or someone you can't really avoid as much as you'd like to.

Jupiters

I don't.
I don't care if they are family.
I'd leave to be quite honest if they were getting annoyingly pushy about it. I would get up, and say "peace out"

Soberpotamus

I'd get away from them, asap.

Soberwolf

Tell them mavericks idea where you say your staying sober for a charity

and they can give you money for said charity that you can donate i hope maverick sees this thread

Thepatman

Funny you are saying this. Today after work my front neighbour, my old drinking buddy, was trying to convince me to join him for a cold one. He kept insisting, I kept telling him advantages after advantages I see for being sober. Was laughing my head off.

Conversation ended when I told him good luck feeling like crap tomorrow morning! LOL!

Jupiters

exactly!
I had someone (not a close friend) say to me "oh my god, I feel SO bad for you not being able to drink"...
me "uuuh ok - have fun nursing that hangover tomorrow..what is that? wine number 4? I feel bad for YOU"

laters

PurpleKnight

Anyone who pushed the issue, I slowly stopped hanging out with them, for the initial period during my weekends I didn't go out anywhere to have those situations crop up.

Then when I went to a wedding etc I hung out with the non drinkers, there's always non drinkers at social events I found.

A lot of it comes down to what situations we put ourselves in, drinks after work on a Friday for example is not a great idea for a non drinker!!

NoJimmy

I don't negotiate my sobriety with myself or anyone else, pretty simple.

bunnezjp

NO THANK YOU I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.

Bunnez

trachemys

No.

JustCrusade

When I got sober I noticed I only had to tell my true friends "No thanks I don't drink anymore" once.

Social situations where you are obligated to be around said person(s), I'd politely say no thank you.

If they end up going on with the whole "cmon" and "whats wrong with you" that is their issue. If anything it I think it makes them look pretty bad overall - kinda pathetic to be honest.

My guess this is how any other normal, sober human being would see this behavior also.

Altoids

I like the charity idea. Hadn't heard that one before. LOL!

When someone keeps pushing like that, you might ask them WHY it is so important to them for you to drink. Seriously, push the question back at them. Then leave. I've used this technique for when people ask questions that really aren't their business. "Why do you want to know that?" It seems to shut people up pretty fast.

Briseis

I've been on this board for 10 seconds, but this post resonates with me.

I was active duty military and am currently married to an active duty military member. You could say our first few years of marriage were conducted under the haze of booze. For whatever reason, we seem to find the people who drink/party hearty and are drawn to them like moths to a flame. Thankfully, my husband has brought the boozing down over the years and seems to have no problems limiting himself or not drinking, period. I'm the only one who can't say no or figure out when I've clearly had enough. And most of my closest friends are enabler--people who do the same "I wish you were drinking" stuff.

Joe Nerv

Them: Are you having a drink?

Me: No, I'm OK thanks, but I'll have a coffee...

Them: there's no way I'm gonna let you drink coffee on a Friday night

Me: (with a smile) There's no way I'm drinking anything else on this Friday night. I'll have a coffee. Thanks.

Them: just have one, you're not driving what's the problem?

Me: No problem. I don't drink.

Them: Why not?

Me: Because I don't. Can we stop now.

Them: Whatever...

If it went past that, which it never even came close to, I'd have to say, "Dude, get out of my face". I don't hang with anybody who would be so stupid or drunk as to push it that far, and if I did it would be a good sign that I wasn't where I belonged. I have no fear or concern whatsoever of being judged by someone for my choice to not drink. And I don't have to explain my reasons to anyone. Most people get it, and respect it.

PolarBlue

Some people don't like to or refuse to drink alone. If they know you're recovering and push it on you that relentlessly, help them understand your problem and what you're trying to accomplish. If they understand and don't care, get them out of your life. They're only thinking about themselves.

Imabuleva

"My stomach is sensitive to alcohol. I don't want to be sick."

Dee74

I used to think that everyone took drinking as monumentally seriously as I did.
Truth is 98% of folks don't give a damn what I drink.

For those 2% who do - fellow alcoholics, old drinking buddies or clueless family - I'll be blowed if I let them set my agenda or mess with my well being.

No thank you really is all anyone needs to hear, James...if they continue to squawk, let 'em squawk...

If you're getting riled by these bozos, maybe there's some other stuff going on?

D

AncientMariner

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

The Smiths, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Itchy

I see this topic here a lot. I don't lie or hedge I just tell the truth. I quit smoking and drinking as part of a new healthy lifestyle. If they ask again that is just plain rude. Patiently I would then ask what part of eating a healthy diet, no drinking alcohol or smoking don't you understand, then just quietly, and calmly, maintain eye contact without belligerence, waiting for the reply. Then just tell them to lighten up, and enjoy the party.

Deciding not to drink, or smoke, or both, are two of the biggest steps to a healthier life people can take who indulged in the past.

They aren't the problem in those kinds of conversations. It is our shame for not being able to drink socially. As has been said, everyone is all about themselves, drinking or not. So then ask them what they think of whatever mutual interests you have. And let them talk about themselves. Most of the pushy types will change any subject to themselves enthusiastically. If they bother you, work on your beliefs about it and change it to pride for making the effort to live healthier. Whether it was hard or not is no big deal if they ask. Just tell them it took constant reminders to self to choose healthy over easy. But I always have a drink in my hand, usually a tall cocktail hold the alcohol. Most could care less. Remember how we were? If they ask I'll tell them what I'm drinking. But I really do believe in my healthy choices. That confidence withers any peer pressure attempts.

Every one of us quit to live, and healthier than when drinking. In that light it becomes oxymoronic to toast with alcohol to our health.

I don't look down on those pushy folks, I just won't be made to feel like a fifth grader being peer pressured by a bully.

Everyone did quit for a better healthier life, right?

socialbinger

I would say "no thanks I do not drink" if they insist, I would just leave.

If they try again, I would just avoid these people forever.

There are some people you cannot avoid. If they keep offering you alcohol, I would be really mad at them. throw their drinks in their faces and say I will do something violent next time they try to offer me a drink.

In my mind that is just self-defence