How to Deal With the Problem People..?
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
Then when I went to a wedding etc I hung out with the non drinkers, there's always non drinkers at social events I found.
Great observation Purpleknight.
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Originally Posted by Altoids
I like the charity idea. Hadn't heard that one before. LOL!
When someone keeps pushing like that, you might ask them WHY it is so important to them for you to drink. Seriously, push the question back at them. Then leave. I've used this technique for when people ask questions that really aren't their business. "Why do you want to know that?" It seems to shut people up pretty fast.
When someone keeps pushing like that, you might ask them WHY it is so important to them for you to drink. Seriously, push the question back at them. Then leave. I've used this technique for when people ask questions that really aren't their business. "Why do you want to know that?" It seems to shut people up pretty fast.
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Originally Posted by SuperMega
There ARE always non-drinkers at social events! I was just too drunk before to notice them!
Great observation Purpleknight.
Great observation Purpleknight.
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I used to think that everyone took drinking as monumentally seriously as I did.
Truth is 98% of folks don't give a damn what I drink.
For those 2% who do - fellow alcoholics, old drinking buddies or clueless family - I'll be blowed if I let them set my agenda or mess with my well being.
No thank you really is all anyone needs to hear, James...if they continue to squawk, let 'em squawk...
If you're getting riled by these bozos, maybe there's some other stuff going on?
D
Truth is 98% of folks don't give a damn what I drink.
For those 2% who do - fellow alcoholics, old drinking buddies or clueless family - I'll be blowed if I let them set my agenda or mess with my well being.
No thank you really is all anyone needs to hear, James...if they continue to squawk, let 'em squawk...
If you're getting riled by these bozos, maybe there's some other stuff going on?
D
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Originally Posted by AncientMariner
In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?
The Smiths, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?
The Smiths, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
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Originally Posted by Notmyrealname
I wave goodbye.
Life is really too short to spend it with people you don't enjoy.
Life is really too short to spend it with people you don't enjoy.
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Originally Posted by Tang
Not always. Everyone I work with drinks. Everyone. Our team meetings are bacchanal in nature. I would agree at very large social functions you can find people who don't drink, but not necessarily at smaller ones. I know as I have experienced the interrogation by an entire group of drunks.
Small groups that are just going out for happy hour... well that's another story, there is only one goal in mind for that group!
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Originally Posted by Tang
Not always. Everyone I work with drinks. Everyone. Our team meetings are bacchanal in nature. I would agree at very large social functions you can find people who don't drink, but not necessarily at smaller ones. I know as I have experienced the interrogation by an entire group of drunks.
Originally Posted by SuperMega
Oh I agree with you there. I think PurpleKnight was referring to large social gatherings, like weddings in particular.
Small groups that are just going out for happy hour... well that's another story, there is only one goal in mind for that group!
Small groups that are just going out for happy hour... well that's another story, there is only one goal in mind for that group!
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The 'Broken record technique
This is an assertiveness technique...
The beauty about this technique is you don't go on the defensive, you don't explain yourself (your reasons why) and you empathise with the other person's point of view.......
You repeat your stated desire over and over....while continually acknowledging the other person's point of view....
Jimmy: Why don't you have a beer like everyone else?
You: I appreciate your offer, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: oh come on! don't be such a bore!
You : I understand it may be boring to you, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: Jesus, one beer won't kill you!
You: your offer is very kind, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: everybody else is drinking, you don't want to be the odd one out, do you?
You: I'm touched by your concern, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: c'mon we'll do shots like the old days, just this once, eh?
You: I really like your energy and your presentation, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
If they insist after 5 repeats of '..however, I'm teetotal'....you can then bring out the big gun....
you: just what part of 'I'm teetotal, so no thanks' do you not understand??
..your neither passive nor aggressive....just nicely assertive!!
This works great with salespeope too!!
The beauty about this technique is you don't go on the defensive, you don't explain yourself (your reasons why) and you empathise with the other person's point of view.......
You repeat your stated desire over and over....while continually acknowledging the other person's point of view....
Jimmy: Why don't you have a beer like everyone else?
You: I appreciate your offer, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: oh come on! don't be such a bore!
You : I understand it may be boring to you, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: Jesus, one beer won't kill you!
You: your offer is very kind, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: everybody else is drinking, you don't want to be the odd one out, do you?
You: I'm touched by your concern, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
Jimmy: c'mon we'll do shots like the old days, just this once, eh?
You: I really like your energy and your presentation, however I'm teetotal, so no thanks.
If they insist after 5 repeats of '..however, I'm teetotal'....you can then bring out the big gun....
you: just what part of 'I'm teetotal, so no thanks' do you not understand??
..your neither passive nor aggressive....just nicely assertive!!
This works great with salespeope too!!
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Originally Posted by james186
The main problem I'm having is that they're the soon to be in-laws. I don't want to rock the boat or make enemies out of them. That being said I hate being told what to do. If it carries on I just won't have anything to do with them.
Anyway, nice topic. I have picked up some tips on how to handle that boorish insistence without telling people to go to hell right off the bat.
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Originally Posted by KateL
Just put your foot down as you see fit. I don't want to be rude but they sound pretty daft to me anyway. No one should ever push alcohol onto anyone, no matter what the reason.xx
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