geno198

for everyone that went to AA, I get it. It works but what I don't get is the attitude that If I don't do there way, I'm not going to be successful. I'm working my steps. I would have done it his way but I need to get a second job to support my family. It irritates me a little.but I understand. I just need some body that will work with me. Can I get a sponsor here? I need some people to talk to.

Anna

You can sure find people here to talk to, and we do understand how hard this is.

I'm not an AA person, but those who are might be able to offer advice.

I'm glad you posted.

leah333

I'm new to SR and am not going to aa meetings. I too would like to find a sponsor on here. More like just someone I can message over these next few dreadful weeks. Not sure who or if people actually do that here??

Coldfusion

I don't know anything about on-line sponsors, but an important part of SoberRecovery is having an open forum where you will get a variety of responses to your questions. So if you're just messaging one person, you're missing out on a lot.

Soberwolf

To those looking for a sponser i suggest let the forum be your sponser

all the benefits of asking any sort of question related to recovery and getting answers from mutiple diffrent viewpoints

I suggest the forum

geno198

I'll take it

Grungehead

My sponsor was all about teaching me the steps and not trying to tell me what to do in my personal life. BUT -- when it came to doing the steps HE was the teacher and I was the student. I can't ever remember telling any of my teachers in school that I was going to do it my way and not their way. If my way worked I wouldn't need them to teach me in the first place. When I came to AA this time I had pretty much run out of options and was pretty desperate to get and stay sober. I had tried AA a couple of different times and tried to do it my way only to go back out and drink. This time I was willing to take suggestions and it has worked for me.

I understand that life can get pretty busy, especially when having a family and working a lot of hours. My sponsor asked me how many hours a day did I devote to drinking. After answering I quickly realized that if I spent half as much time on my recovery as I did drinking there was more than enough time to do the necessary work he was asking me to do. For me I needed to put a lot of effort into changing my old behaviors. I think that would have been true regardless of what type of plan I put together for my recovery.

geno198

There isn't one way to recover. I go to AA meetings. I will have to work the steps and go to meetings on my own pace. I have 3 kids and a wife that I have to support. 2 of those kids are autistic. I get that the sponsor calls the shots. I need a sponsor that understand also. I'm starting. A second job here in a week. 730am to11pm monday through friday.i will do meetings in sat and sun. Just the way it is.

Treerat66

Another advantage of SR as a sponsor is the 24hr coverage.

geno198

I like it

robgt350

leah
that is a good idea. i meet a friend here i did that two. it offered alot of help. at times at all hours i would get that urge to drink and i know my friend did too. so we texted each other and offer support and advice. helped me alot.

IOAA2

Doing AA my way for the first couple of years ended up in the insane column as I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I needed tough old fashioned love and direction because I was a know it all and fortunately they all said KEEP COMING. Fortunately I did and when my pain became overwhelming for me I surrendered because I don’t suffer well and realized I needed outside guidance from those having sober time.
It’s a slow process for someone wanting the instant everything but well worth all the work involved. Many years later I need forums like this and regular meetings to remember what too many forget and can’t make it back.

BE WELL

Fly N Buy

A few days back I saw an older gent pick up a 15 year chip. Our group prompts a question - Tell us how you did it?

He replied - having a sponsor that was always available = ME.

So, well not highly recommended, there's that.



I have made a couple contacts on SR with long term sober folks/AA guys and have exchanged a few PM's with questions. There are people on here that I am sure would guide you given your circumstances if you choose that.

Now I do have a sponsor. But if that was not possible or choose another direction - for me I would seek counsel on 4-5 and 9.

You will find your way - which is indeed your way!

peace

Aellyce

Hi geno,

I don't know about finding specific people as sponsors on SR, but I did find a few individuals that I had intense 1:1 (via PM) conversations with in the early months and it was tremendously helpful. Some of them were new to sobriety like me and we mutually helped each-other to get through difficult times or just with interesting conversations. There are also people with long term sobriety whose contributions and attitude I truly like and I feel I have a lot to learn from them. If you do feel like you would benefit from 1:1 interactions, all you need to do is initiate and see what happens! Read public posts and find people you feel you relate to and/or could learn from. In my mind, this is a more constructive approach than asking "who wants to sponsor me". None of mine have been directed towards step work, just general conversations about recovery and about life. It's basically making recovery friends online. The way I've used SR from beginning is a combination of posting on the boards and PMs with a select few. It's really been working for me! And like you, part of the reason I love SR so much is because it's 100% flexible and I do it when I want and can. I can use the boards also from work when I have free moments (like now). Like you, I also have a busy schedule, so this has been tremendously helpful.

Good luck

Hobbers

"I understand that life can get pretty busy, especially when having a family and working a lot of hours. My sponsor asked me how many hours a day did I devote to drinking. After answering I quickly realized that if I spent half as much time on my recovery as I did drinking there was more than enough time to do the necessary work he was asking me to do."

That hit me hard, probably how it did when your sponsor said it to you. Great point.

whalebelow2

Hi Gino

I have 4 kids under ten, one with ADHD and my wife hung in with me too.

You and I are very lucky, although it can make AA meetings, sponsor, steps all a bit overwhelming.

What i worked out with my sponsor and family is two meetings a week.

2 nights locked in, I go no matter what. Exceptional circumstances might be medical emergency, etc, but otherwise I'm there.

I meet my sponsor an hour before one of the meetings and we go through the book. The steps don't take long and should never ever be worked at your own pace or slowly.

Bad idea.

The steps will change things, for you, for your family.

My advice is put the HARD yards in now and it will make living sober, holding down a job, managing a family, all the more easier.

Train hard, win easy.