mje124

in case you tell me probably correctly to get lost but I need you guys

After a roller coaster 2 months of 4 days off 3 days on hospitalised / Librium I picked up again .............

Am now on day 4 and last Tuesday I hit my personal low which has left everyone (husband / family ) stunned.............I drank aftershave

Yes you read correct

One mouthful and 5 mins later came straight back up

what followed can only be described as HELL black vomit for 2 days hiccups for 3 and a sense of shame that I actually almost killed myself for a fix

I have spoken to my GP am seeing my alcohol counsellor weds and have reconnected with AA

Heaven knows what my insides look like

Sorry .............but getting back on track

Had to get it off my chest

Mike

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biminiblue

You can figure this out.

If one of us can get out, there's a way out for you, too.

Keep searching, keep doing the next right thing.

I hope you feel better soon.

ImperfectlyMe

Be proud you can back, glad you're here on many levels !

AnvilheadII

welcome back, glad to hear you have made the decision to get back on track. make the most of it!

Soberwolf

Hi mike

I was the same except with blood i too was killing myself

you have seen whats happened it will only get worse

my best advice is stay here on the forum through your first month and involve yourself in discussion

i stress this more than anything else give sobriety a true chance dont give up find an iron will and say no to drink and yes to sobriety

i am 14 months sober today and i live so diffrently to how i did then i thought my life would never change

and then i changed it and my life changed

good luck and really nice to meet you

Anna

Mike, you never need to be scared to post here. We know how hard this is and how this disease robs us of dignity, among other things.

It sounds like you have a good plan, so keep reading and posting.

mje124

thanks all

Can eat now and just about look at people

Never in a million years ............


AND by the way this is my LAST day 4

Was so afraid of your reactions to my discgraceful behaviour


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PurpleKnight

You can do this Mike!! You can turn this around!!

SR is in your corner!!

HeartsAfire

None of us have any reason or right to judge.

You've found your bottom. Now it's time to start clawing your way to the top.

We're here for you - fighting right alongside you every step of the way.

biminiblue

Ha! I have done so many things I am ashamed of doing.

Mike, you're just a regular guy with an addiction. We understand.

flossyfressia

This just epitomises SR for me. You're never alone when you're here.

Ghostlight1

Welcome back.
If I went into some of my disgusting behavior while drunk I could probably still be arrested.
I'm glad you're back. And I'm glad you posted. What you did wasn't disgusting, it was desperation. I drank cooking sherry once, not to forget the vanilla extract.
You're not disgusting at all.
Congratulations on day four and remember you never have to go back to that dark place. There is light here.

HeadLump

I'm so glad you summoned the courage to post, Mike You're here where you should be, with people who understand and who care. Together, we'll find a way through this

Hereandnow2

What you did just shows me the desperation of our disease . It's insane, you are not. You have worth and are a human being that is loved .

mje124

thanks all - you have made feel much less ashamed and alone

Scared of the reaction of our Dee!!!!!

Getting myself back to work Tuesday .........lucky have my own business or would have been fired by now

You are a fantastic bunch of kind dear people and I am proud to be a part of SR

Mike

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pakman

Mike, it took real courage to post that. Getting it off your chest is a great start. You can do it.

whalebelow2

Welcome back.

Have you considered a different path in AA this time?

Alynn

Your among family here! Pretty sure we've all done some pretty dumb stuff.. I know I have... It's a twisted thing this addiction. Welcome back ! Stay connected here

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

SoberComposer

Welcome to SR Mike! We have all done crazy things in the past, you are in like company . You will find so many tools and support here!

least

Glad you're back trying again.