Feeling down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sheffield, United Kingdom
Posts: 208
Feeling down
Day 30 tomorrow and I've never got this far before. But feeling really low. Took the dog a walk and just burst in to tears. Thankfully in the woods on my own. Just wish I could switch my thoughts off for a bit. Suppose that's why I used to drink. Because I was feeling like I needed help I rang and booked a doctors appointment. But now no clue what I'm actually going to say. Haven't had medical help so far. My husband keeps saying you look so sad and find it so hard to explain that anxiety and over thinking are driving me mad. I feeling like I've failed because I have a problem with drink.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
When you pick up a drink and whether you want to or not continue to drink uncontrollably day after day, that is my definition of failure.
A winner is a person who can stop drinking for 30 days which is a fantastic achievement and then says that done. Thats 30 victories, lets do it again. Thats winning.
A winner is a person who can stop drinking for 30 days which is a fantastic achievement and then says that done. Thats 30 victories, lets do it again. Thats winning.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I think I had to remember that alcohol wasn't about winning or loosing, it was about living with the cards that were dealt, my cards don't allow me to drink and that's the way it was, there's no right or wrong, success or failure in any of this, it's just learning to live with how things are!!
For the first month I didn't really do much, went to work, came home, went to bed, nothing really exciting happened, I was shattered most of the time, but as more time passed things improved, I mourned the loss of my friend alcohol, my mind was now going a million miles an hour and I had lost my favourite off switch.
Be honest with the Dr, you've everything to gain if there is something they can help with!!
Hang in there!!
For the first month I didn't really do much, went to work, came home, went to bed, nothing really exciting happened, I was shattered most of the time, but as more time passed things improved, I mourned the loss of my friend alcohol, my mind was now going a million miles an hour and I had lost my favourite off switch.
Be honest with the Dr, you've everything to gain if there is something they can help with!!
Hang in there!!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
You have not failed if you are willing to get some help. Those that fail are those who do nothing about their problem and hide in isolation. You need a support system, reach out!
Good luck. Be proud of taking control of your life!
Good luck. Be proud of taking control of your life!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 444
I'm on Day 29 as well. I am so sorry you're feeling low- GREAT call on calling a doctor. I have done this with TONS of support, and you've been doing this totally on your own- that explains a lot. You are (beyond!) wise to seek out a pro/dr.
Good luck, and know that we are all here for you. And we are super proud that you've gotten this far!
Good luck, and know that we are all here for you. And we are super proud that you've gotten this far!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
Not alone.. I cried all morning, cussed the router for not working properly , snapped a DH... I read in a thread that it takes time. We put ourselves through a lot. ... I'm happy for you and your progress! Smart to call the Dr!
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
Gl@ss Artist & Cat Lady
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 880
I think seeing the doc is a good idea too. Also maybe you're still having those emotions we go through early in sobriety. I know each end every time I stopped drinking I would be so emotional and kinda depressed. I'm sure your doc can help you in some way. Hang in there! 30 days is awesome!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I remember feeling a LOT like that at 30 days. Spontaneous bursts of emotion. Feeling down on myself. Feeling sub-standard... feeling like I was somehow lesser or broken.
At almost nine months I feel like one of the lucky ones. I feel renewed. I feel freed.
It gets better... keep at it.
At almost nine months I feel like one of the lucky ones. I feel renewed. I feel freed.
It gets better... keep at it.
Working-cl*** pseudo tough
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 485
Hey Oswin,
Although early sobriety has had some challenges, when I feel down, I remind myself how much better things are now that I'm not drinking.
If I had taken the other path 61 days ago, I could be dead, or in jail. That thought alone makes me feel better.
Although early sobriety has had some challenges, when I feel down, I remind myself how much better things are now that I'm not drinking.
If I had taken the other path 61 days ago, I could be dead, or in jail. That thought alone makes me feel better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Yaay to you, on brave sobriety.
I drank to assemble the wall between myself and my sadness. It was made of some odd invisible metal; when my feelings got hurt, or I felt close to tears, it just took a drink or four and I was a warrior who was not vulnerable at all. "F*** it" juice. That's what alcohol gave me.
In early sobriety, sadness washed over me in waves. I cry, am close to tears, cry, try not to cry.
I have been holding back this tidal wave of sadness through drinking.
I continue to hold at work. I'm not being very efficient, but I'm not crying in my office either.
I get home, and all sorts of things make me cry. I run hot baths, I take walks, I read - and I let it flow. No big deal. Just tears. Um, there's been a little bit of loss worth crying about.
I agree that if you think you are teetering into a clinical depression, it is wise to see doctor.
BUT, I want to share the other side too. You may simply be experiencing situational depression, or...ordinary sadness...which you have held through will and drink and desperate clenching for many, many years.
Doctors are trained to respond medically to depression and for good reason; if you have any self-harming thoughts, you need immediate care.
But, it is also absolutely appropriate and healthy to cry often in the first months of recovery, particularly after the first couple weeks of absolute shock to your system, as emotions take their rightful place in your being. Walking in the woods and crying is a powerfully healthy thing to do. If it doesn't feel too wacko, consider hugging (or leaning against) a tree. I know, they don't have arms to hug back, but their strength sort of seeps into you, and makes you feel stronger.
Heal. Cry. It's a messy business, full of boogers and puffy eyes, but worth every minute in its cleansing.
I drank to assemble the wall between myself and my sadness. It was made of some odd invisible metal; when my feelings got hurt, or I felt close to tears, it just took a drink or four and I was a warrior who was not vulnerable at all. "F*** it" juice. That's what alcohol gave me.
In early sobriety, sadness washed over me in waves. I cry, am close to tears, cry, try not to cry.
I have been holding back this tidal wave of sadness through drinking.
I continue to hold at work. I'm not being very efficient, but I'm not crying in my office either.
I get home, and all sorts of things make me cry. I run hot baths, I take walks, I read - and I let it flow. No big deal. Just tears. Um, there's been a little bit of loss worth crying about.
I agree that if you think you are teetering into a clinical depression, it is wise to see doctor.
BUT, I want to share the other side too. You may simply be experiencing situational depression, or...ordinary sadness...which you have held through will and drink and desperate clenching for many, many years.
Doctors are trained to respond medically to depression and for good reason; if you have any self-harming thoughts, you need immediate care.
But, it is also absolutely appropriate and healthy to cry often in the first months of recovery, particularly after the first couple weeks of absolute shock to your system, as emotions take their rightful place in your being. Walking in the woods and crying is a powerfully healthy thing to do. If it doesn't feel too wacko, consider hugging (or leaning against) a tree. I know, they don't have arms to hug back, but their strength sort of seeps into you, and makes you feel stronger.
Heal. Cry. It's a messy business, full of boogers and puffy eyes, but worth every minute in its cleansing.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Hi Oswin. I agree with the others. It's early days yet - our emotions are all over the place in the beginning. We have so much healing to do. You will get there. Be proud of yourself for the huge accomplishment of 30 days sober! Great job.
Great job.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,001
Youre doing great. Remember sobering up is hard on emotions. Im on a rollercoaster, and i was never an emotional man. It justs takes time. Have one of those magnums. Congrats on the 30 days. Thats an achievement to be proud of.
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