Worst Dealer Time Excuses
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
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Worst Dealer Time Excuses
All - one of the things that helps me when thinking about my opi addiction (the pills at least) was remembering all of those times waiting for hours for my 'guy'. The topic has come up in a few different thread over time, but I thought it might be helpful to think about your worst 'dealer time' experiences and share them in one spot.
Mine was spent over the course of about 8 hours when we were supposed to meet in the morning. I literally paced across the floor with sweat pouring down my face all day. Of course, I was careful not to call too often so I didn't disrupt his wonderfully productive day that was probably spent trying to find a cure for cancer or whatever else he did when not selling pills. I even had a text drafted telling him to go to hell that I was done with it, but my finger couldn't press the send button. So when he finally drags in he explains that he was really sorry, but that his girlfriend had really been on him and he was forced to go to the movies with him. What a poor guy. His girlfriend must have really been in his ear for him to have spent 8 hours with her at the movies.
That's when I grabbed him by his throat, started straggling him and then threw him down the flight of stairs. Well, not exactly. That was what I imagined myself doing, but in reality I calmly said "no problem bud. you have to keep the ladies happy. see you next week, right?".
So what was the worst BS excuse you ever heard from your 'guy'?
Mine was spent over the course of about 8 hours when we were supposed to meet in the morning. I literally paced across the floor with sweat pouring down my face all day. Of course, I was careful not to call too often so I didn't disrupt his wonderfully productive day that was probably spent trying to find a cure for cancer or whatever else he did when not selling pills. I even had a text drafted telling him to go to hell that I was done with it, but my finger couldn't press the send button. So when he finally drags in he explains that he was really sorry, but that his girlfriend had really been on him and he was forced to go to the movies with him. What a poor guy. His girlfriend must have really been in his ear for him to have spent 8 hours with her at the movies.
That's when I grabbed him by his throat, started straggling him and then threw him down the flight of stairs. Well, not exactly. That was what I imagined myself doing, but in reality I calmly said "no problem bud. you have to keep the ladies happy. see you next week, right?".
So what was the worst BS excuse you ever heard from your 'guy'?
Mamahawk
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,034
That they got pulled over and swallowed all 45 of my pills at once so the cops would not find them. This was after I hadn't heard from them for 7 hours when they were coming 'right back'. This was a friend to. Someone I trusted! Lol
Yeah, right.
Yeah, right.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,375
One that always got me was when I set for Friday and then told someone came in and bought them all. I came to find out the guy was hooked and had actually taken them all.
It helps me to remember all this madness and it feels great not do have to deal with that stuff anymore. I can laugh at the sillyness of it all now
It helps me to remember all this madness and it feels great not do have to deal with that stuff anymore. I can laugh at the sillyness of it all now
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Yes it helps me too. Because it reminds me that I never want to have to put myself in the position of relying....or should I say dependent on someone who was only out to make money off me.....and who I'm positive did not respect me. My addiction lowered me to zero self-worth!
Now I can look back and see what I was before recovery and who I am as a person now.
Plus now it seems really funny almost insane what I put up with because I had no choice.
I think it falls into the category of playing that tape all the way thru to the end. Similar to reading withdrawal threads.
Just my opinion....but of course I respect everyone's opinion.
Now I can look back and see what I was before recovery and who I am as a person now.
Plus now it seems really funny almost insane what I put up with because I had no choice.
I think it falls into the category of playing that tape all the way thru to the end. Similar to reading withdrawal threads.
Just my opinion....but of course I respect everyone's opinion.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
TE that was what happened to me....many times! I know my dealer wasn't addicted to pills...he was into weed....but his Aunt was an addict. Now with a clear head I see that he probably used my money to supply her.....then needed to wait for her check to pick-up mine. Because it was just too often that he would take my money and make me wait a week before dropping off my pills. If I dare complain....he threatened to give me back my money and stop supplying me. I had no choice at that time but to wait.
Probably the most insane excuse was that he had them on his bed wrapped in tissue ($500 worth) and his son (3 years old) was cleaning up and threw them....guess where? In the toilet of all places.
Probably the most insane excuse was that he had them on his bed wrapped in tissue ($500 worth) and his son (3 years old) was cleaning up and threw them....guess where? In the toilet of all places.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
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Yes I heard many similar excuses when I was in to pills, but consider yourself lucky. Once I got into Heroin and didn't know where to get it my bright idea was to google H bust West Side of Chicago and then decided to drive down there and do some looking. I went through quite a few bad experiences before I finally found a guy I could trust. This included being sold baggies of dirt, baking soda, and getting a knife pulled on me and robbed. I know several others who were pulled out of their car and got the crap beat out of them.
Then there was the wave of people dying due to the dope being laced with Fentanyl. At least with pills you have an imprint and know what the hell you are getting. Dope is like Russian Roulette many times. Add into that the several times getting pulled over and luckily wasn't holding yet so was able to get out of it (although they are known to impound your car for just driving around some of those areas). White boy like me sticks out like a sore thumb in East Garfield Park.
I can see Dee's point. Definitely not a subject that needs to be rehashed over and over, but sometimes it is good to remember the bad times and be thankful those days are behind us. Even to laugh at just how idiotic many of the things we did were. DON'T MISS IT ONE BIT!!!
Then there was the wave of people dying due to the dope being laced with Fentanyl. At least with pills you have an imprint and know what the hell you are getting. Dope is like Russian Roulette many times. Add into that the several times getting pulled over and luckily wasn't holding yet so was able to get out of it (although they are known to impound your car for just driving around some of those areas). White boy like me sticks out like a sore thumb in East Garfield Park.
I can see Dee's point. Definitely not a subject that needs to be rehashed over and over, but sometimes it is good to remember the bad times and be thankful those days are behind us. Even to laugh at just how idiotic many of the things we did were. DON'T MISS IT ONE BIT!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Marcus what you just said about H plus the needle is what kept me away from it....but I can't even say there weren't times when I was so desperate that if someone had told me they had H and could show me how to use it....I wouldn't have jumped at the idea! I consider myself very very lucky!
I think I understand what Dee is saying too. I think he means that the purpose of recovery is to move forward....leave those bad addiction things in the past where they belong. Is that correct?
Oh...or maybe it can be triggering? I hope not! Sorry if I've triggered someone!
I think I understand what Dee is saying too. I think he means that the purpose of recovery is to move forward....leave those bad addiction things in the past where they belong. Is that correct?
Oh...or maybe it can be triggering? I hope not! Sorry if I've triggered someone!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 396
I have so many to tell but the "big" one was this:
I handed a so called good friend $500 to get me 20 lousy pills (30mg) ...
Well, after not hearing anything back for hours! I was getting really pissed and was about to threaten the cops (yea right) um officer, this girl stole my $500 and never gave me my drugs, arrest her! The addict brain is really dumb! So, she finally texts me back and says "OMg girl, we got pulled over and I had to hide the pills in a bush nearby , I was so worried! After he left, I went back to the bush and the pills were gone! I think a squirrel ate them, sorry girl" seriously!!!
I'm so glad I never, ever have to deal with crap like this! It makes me so happy that my hard earned money is going towards positive things like saving for a home, buying healthy food to eat, getting toys for my dogs, paying the bills each month without sweating and lying, getting myself a pedicure or a new bag. Whatever it is, no more paying someone else's rent or being scammed.
I love not ever giving another dime to those lying thieves.
I handed a so called good friend $500 to get me 20 lousy pills (30mg) ...
Well, after not hearing anything back for hours! I was getting really pissed and was about to threaten the cops (yea right) um officer, this girl stole my $500 and never gave me my drugs, arrest her! The addict brain is really dumb! So, she finally texts me back and says "OMg girl, we got pulled over and I had to hide the pills in a bush nearby , I was so worried! After he left, I went back to the bush and the pills were gone! I think a squirrel ate them, sorry girl" seriously!!!
I'm so glad I never, ever have to deal with crap like this! It makes me so happy that my hard earned money is going towards positive things like saving for a home, buying healthy food to eat, getting toys for my dogs, paying the bills each month without sweating and lying, getting myself a pedicure or a new bag. Whatever it is, no more paying someone else's rent or being scammed.
I love not ever giving another dime to those lying thieves.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 676
Perhaps thinking specifically of the dealer doesn't help. But thinking about all the times you were under complete and total control of that scum sucker sure does. "Yea no problem. Got you hooked up". "Heading to the office now long before cut off". 4 hours later. Man I missed cut off by 5 minutes. Then that horrible feeling knowing you would have to ration or flat out withdraw. Yea. Remembering that kills cravings.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Perhaps I should have said worst withdrawal experiences or something else, but for me this was one of the worst aspects of the opis. Every day that I woke up I would know exactly how many pills were left in a bottle and how many days I had left with them. It was really a level of paranoia / anxiety / OCD that was all consuming.
The example I used was just the worst excuse I had heard. There were plenty of times when a locked down, sure thing on a Friday turned into a Monday thing. Those extra 3 days might as well have been a month, because at the time I had no plans to quit. I knew I was going to get sick - really sick - and that it would be all for nothing. For me, withdrawaling when I knew that I was going to go back anyway was the worst type of withdrawal. There was no light at the end of the tunnel or thinking that this was going to be the last time to go through it again. It was just hopeless suffering for absolutely nothing. At least in failed quit attempts I had a glimmer of hope that I might actually make it through to the other side. After getting burned like that a few times it really messed with my head and I was constantly on red alert that I was going to get dopesick at exactly the wrong time.
I planned my entire life around it. Travelling was a great example. I only travelled if it was a last resort. Everyone gets pissed when their flight home gets cancelled, but for a junkie it takes on a whole different dimension. Someone smiling and telling you "we should be able to have you on the first flight back in the morning. Of course, we'll get you a room for the night" got translated into junkie speak as "WHAT?! I am already getting sick. Oh, man I am total ****** right now. Totally! What does 'should' mean anyway. What if I am stuck here for days?! Then I am going to have to ride back dopesick in one of those seats that wouldn't fit a large child and I won't be able to kick my legs or else everyone will think I am crazy!". Even that situation wasn't as bad a 'dealer time' to me, because it wasn't like the airline worker knew what the consequences would be.
'Dealer time' embodies the demoralizing, helpless aspects of the addiction, which, for me at least, was the most horrific part of it. The fact that another opi addict - who knew full well the difference 8 hours makes - would pull that **** was infuriating. But, I was nothing more than a slave to him and we both knew that I wasn't going to do anything about it. I had basically 'turned out' myself.
I apologize if anyone took my post to represent anything else. I don't think it hurts to laugh every once in a while either though.
The example I used was just the worst excuse I had heard. There were plenty of times when a locked down, sure thing on a Friday turned into a Monday thing. Those extra 3 days might as well have been a month, because at the time I had no plans to quit. I knew I was going to get sick - really sick - and that it would be all for nothing. For me, withdrawaling when I knew that I was going to go back anyway was the worst type of withdrawal. There was no light at the end of the tunnel or thinking that this was going to be the last time to go through it again. It was just hopeless suffering for absolutely nothing. At least in failed quit attempts I had a glimmer of hope that I might actually make it through to the other side. After getting burned like that a few times it really messed with my head and I was constantly on red alert that I was going to get dopesick at exactly the wrong time.
I planned my entire life around it. Travelling was a great example. I only travelled if it was a last resort. Everyone gets pissed when their flight home gets cancelled, but for a junkie it takes on a whole different dimension. Someone smiling and telling you "we should be able to have you on the first flight back in the morning. Of course, we'll get you a room for the night" got translated into junkie speak as "WHAT?! I am already getting sick. Oh, man I am total ****** right now. Totally! What does 'should' mean anyway. What if I am stuck here for days?! Then I am going to have to ride back dopesick in one of those seats that wouldn't fit a large child and I won't be able to kick my legs or else everyone will think I am crazy!". Even that situation wasn't as bad a 'dealer time' to me, because it wasn't like the airline worker knew what the consequences would be.
'Dealer time' embodies the demoralizing, helpless aspects of the addiction, which, for me at least, was the most horrific part of it. The fact that another opi addict - who knew full well the difference 8 hours makes - would pull that **** was infuriating. But, I was nothing more than a slave to him and we both knew that I wasn't going to do anything about it. I had basically 'turned out' myself.
I apologize if anyone took my post to represent anything else. I don't think it hurts to laugh every once in a while either though.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,375
Opio, you nailed it. It's all about being a slave to the dope and the people who supplied it. I hated traveling too because you never know what can happen to put you a day behind and out of dope. Wife wanting to stay an extra day but you have to find an excuse not to. Killing yourself to make a flight out of terror you won't get home on the day you alloted your pills to last.
Finding out your deal or rx fell through at the last minute is one of the most devastating memories I have of those days. Wds for nothing because I would use the first chance I got. The endless cycle of getting the dope, burning through it and then looking for more. It was like a treadmill that never stopped and only got faster.
I HATE HATE HATE what I went through all those times and I will die before I ever put myself through that again. I say to hell with hydro, oxy, benzos or whatever. Pure misery.
Finding out your deal or rx fell through at the last minute is one of the most devastating memories I have of those days. Wds for nothing because I would use the first chance I got. The endless cycle of getting the dope, burning through it and then looking for more. It was like a treadmill that never stopped and only got faster.
I HATE HATE HATE what I went through all those times and I will die before I ever put myself through that again. I say to hell with hydro, oxy, benzos or whatever. Pure misery.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Oh opio I got that twisted anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach again....the one I got each time I knew I was running low on pills! Just thinking about all those times I had to go thru a horrible WD waiting for my dealer to deliver....trying to get thru the day without anyone knowing how miserable I felt....oh gosh what a terrible feeling! So many times that feeling drove me to do things...anything to get my fix! Getting my hands on a few pills felt like life to me!
I think that these stories are something that opiate addicts especially can relate....because I think this is the number one pitfall of being an opiate addict. The fact that something that used to be only a recreational thing becomes a physical need! Without it we are in very bad shape and this is my reason for quitting....being a slave to the pills....and so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. TE is right opio, you really nailed it....and so did you TE! That treadmill example is perfect!
I think that these stories are something that opiate addicts especially can relate....because I think this is the number one pitfall of being an opiate addict. The fact that something that used to be only a recreational thing becomes a physical need! Without it we are in very bad shape and this is my reason for quitting....being a slave to the pills....and so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. TE is right opio, you really nailed it....and so did you TE! That treadmill example is perfect!
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NYC/NJ
Posts: 431
Because I didn't like to buy in bulk (I was always about to quit), I had to deal with my guy very frequently, so I had countless experiences like this while going through withdrawal, waiting, waiting, waiting. Even if it wasn't that long, a couple hours felt like eternity. During those hours nothing else mattered.
When I couldn't get in touch with him or knew I couldn't score for a day or 2, then my mindset was okay I'm done, this is my last withdrawal. That would get me through the withdrawal as if it had some purpose and not pointless suffering. Then, whenever he'd text me/call me next, that plan was immediately over. Every. Single. Time.
Then finally a few years back I couldn't go on anymore and the cycle broke. I still remember what it was like though. I don't wanna go back there.
When I couldn't get in touch with him or knew I couldn't score for a day or 2, then my mindset was okay I'm done, this is my last withdrawal. That would get me through the withdrawal as if it had some purpose and not pointless suffering. Then, whenever he'd text me/call me next, that plan was immediately over. Every. Single. Time.
Then finally a few years back I couldn't go on anymore and the cycle broke. I still remember what it was like though. I don't wanna go back there.
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