Charlie117926

hello SR:

Just ranting here.

I have been off for a few days with traveling etc.

Also, we had a long weekend here in the USA, so I took advantage of it (in a good way.)

For quite sometime I have been ready to go and remain sober. For several days the goal seemed possible and then I fall. I give other's advice on this site yet I cant seem to follow it myself.

So over the weekend, I packed up some gear (in my backpack) set a course, in the wilderness and just went. No distractions, no texts, no nothing!

Just hiked, thought, reflected, sat, listened, looked, prayed, cried, slept and smiled. You name it, I did it. Just the land and myself.

I finally allowed myself to just get away and find time for myself and to concentrate on myself.

I have come back with a clearer more determined aspect of my sobriety and my responsibility to my family. Its odd when you pit yourself against nature (no it was not a dangerous "expedition") and have to rely on yourself (and compass) that things become clear (er.)

I must say that when I made it home I have a totally different outlook on my future than before I left.

I am no fool to think that I have this beat...yet, but I do feel stronger now than ever before. And yes I understand its easy not to drink when your alone in the middle of nowhere, but Its more than that. Something inside of me (a light bulb per say) came on and my thoughts have changed about myself and my life.

I am confident that this excursion was what I needed to set me on my life path when I left the woods.

Just wanted to share my story with everyone on here as SR is my family. Most of you know more personal things about me than the people that are supposed to be closest to me. Thanks for listening.

Jupiters

awesome!!! I think that's amazing you did that for yourself

LBrain

thanks charlie, nothing like a bit of time alone reflecting...

Mangoes

Hi Charlie;
I'm a outdoors person too. Something about being in nature does ground you to life itself, doesn't it? When you're forced to stop and face what is actually REAL vs the made up, fast paced bubble we're usually in.

Congratulations to you for making time for yourself to heal, and for coming back with renewed eyes.

Altoids

I do the same thing. There is just something about "green time" (that's what we call time out in the forests/woods/wilderness) that soothes me, heals me. So happy for you.

Mangoes

Altoids... Love calling it " green time"
I love how nature always humbles me. We saw a black fox out hiking yesterday. Up until this point, I've only ever seen red foxes. That goes for hikes, suburban foxes, and grade school picture books. Turns out black foxes are quite common.

It reminded me that even when you "know" the world is one way (eg. All foxes are red), it doesn't mean that what you know is actually the truth.

PurpleKnight

Fantastic stuff!!

Soberwolf

Love this post well done !

Anna

That's great Charlie, and I think time alone, reflecting, is time well-spent.

colsta

Sounds like a great experience, good luck on your quest.

budlight

I thought it was just me. I'm an outdoors guy too and nature is the ONLY thing that soothes me. If I could afford to take a weekend and go on a hiking/camping trip I would do it too. I remember back when my problem first started and I was living on a farm, I would walk to the edge of the farm and just sit down under the trees and something inside me would just settle itself. When I wasn't drinking I would notice how beautiful nature really was because my senses were working. I could see a little clearer and I could smell things a little better. Just watching insects, birds, deer or whatever made me happy.

Charlie117926

Thanks everyone for the posts. It was great and of great help.

To address Budlight specifically, about the affordability of hiking / camping trip, I live near a bike path and basically was dropped off on Saturday (from the wife) and picked up Monday. I hiked down the bike path then trekked out from there into total solitude (It's state / public land.)

My gear is old and minimal at best. I haven't done this in years (too drunk.) The total trip was $20.00 (food / snacks) but the outcome was priceless.

Even today back in the regular work world I have this peace about be and confidence in myself that I did not have as of Saturday morning.

budlight

Thank you. I will try this and good luck to you sir.