incomprehensible demoralization
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 4
incomprehensible demoralization
About 70 days sober. Less than 90 days ago, I had a great job, nice apartment in NYC and lived with the love of my life. All are now gone and I just "celebrated"
My 39th birthday. Now I sit in CA, humiliated, profoundly depressed and sober.
No car (coming from NYC), in my home state, no real options, and I just can't figure out who I am or what I can possibly do. To add to losing everything (especially my fiance), I have worked in the bar business for the last 15 years.
I am currently in step 4 and 5 limbo, not knowing where I am going to go in a matter of days.
My 39th birthday. Now I sit in CA, humiliated, profoundly depressed and sober.
No car (coming from NYC), in my home state, no real options, and I just can't figure out who I am or what I can possibly do. To add to losing everything (especially my fiance), I have worked in the bar business for the last 15 years.
I am currently in step 4 and 5 limbo, not knowing where I am going to go in a matter of days.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome SG75 
yeah the early days were rough for me too - took me a fair time to get my life back in order...
It may not seem like it today, but you've already started the journey back to where you want to be.
You'll find an incredible amount of support and understanding here
D
yeah the early days were rough for me too - took me a fair time to get my life back in order...
It may not seem like it today, but you've already started the journey back to where you want to be.
You'll find an incredible amount of support and understanding here
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I can relate SG75. I just turned 38. I lost my car (DUI), condo, job, and girlfriend to the booze. Been in recovery for 3 years and still trying to find out who I am but I know that won't happen unless I stay sober. I don't know the person who I was for so many years.
I was trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be.
I am sober, a little lost, but never been more hopeful about the future. Greener pastures ahead! Welcome to the site!
I was trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be.
I am sober, a little lost, but never been more hopeful about the future. Greener pastures ahead! Welcome to the site!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Get to a meeting TODAY - grab a sponsor and get to work on step four.
If all else fails, start your inventory by yourself.
Checkout this link if you have already discovered this site;
http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaworkstep567.html
Also listen to this speaker - amazing guy.
May help clear your head.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ya-GRAJXgSo
Keep posting man. Remember whatever happens only gets WORSE by drinking. It never helps.
Hang in there!
If all else fails, start your inventory by yourself.
Checkout this link if you have already discovered this site;
http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaworkstep567.html
Also listen to this speaker - amazing guy.
May help clear your head.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ya-GRAJXgSo
Keep posting man. Remember whatever happens only gets WORSE by drinking. It never helps.
Hang in there!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Welcome SG -- I'm in NYC and a massive storm is moving in. At least you don't have winter to dread! 
Some days -- some weeks -- are pretty rough. All you have to do is not drink today. When you're overwhelmed, remember that and be patient.
I'll put in a word for you at my meeting tonight on the UES. Really. We're on your side, all over the country and all around the world
Some days -- some weeks -- are pretty rough. All you have to do is not drink today. When you're overwhelmed, remember that and be patient.
I'll put in a word for you at my meeting tonight on the UES. Really. We're on your side, all over the country and all around the world
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
A many a folks will put everything else first.
Lots of material things. Stuff that can be replaced.
Then, when something traumatic happens, their
life changes. Their views in life changes and they
realize all that stuff they acquired means nothing
if they don't have their life.
I, certainly speaking for myself, surely wouldn't
have anything today because I wasn't planning
on staying around 24 yrs ago. In fact I had had
enough of life, so sick and tired that all I wanted
to do was sleep forever.
Thank God my family stepped in to get me that
help I needed to get my life back. I also realized
that very day 24 yrs ago that my HP - Higher Power
whom I humbly call My Lord, was not through with
me yet.
So, I was placed on a path of recovery to live
and incorporate steps and principles of a recovery
program of AA in my everyday life. This path, this
journey has not only restored me to sanity, but has
blessed me with more than just material things that
is stated in the Big Book of AA. It is the Promises
that I continue to receive each day I remain sober.
Recovery is for the taking and living if you
you are willing, openminded and honest.
Lots of material things. Stuff that can be replaced.
Then, when something traumatic happens, their
life changes. Their views in life changes and they
realize all that stuff they acquired means nothing
if they don't have their life.
I, certainly speaking for myself, surely wouldn't
have anything today because I wasn't planning
on staying around 24 yrs ago. In fact I had had
enough of life, so sick and tired that all I wanted
to do was sleep forever.
Thank God my family stepped in to get me that
help I needed to get my life back. I also realized
that very day 24 yrs ago that my HP - Higher Power
whom I humbly call My Lord, was not through with
me yet.
So, I was placed on a path of recovery to live
and incorporate steps and principles of a recovery
program of AA in my everyday life. This path, this
journey has not only restored me to sanity, but has
blessed me with more than just material things that
is stated in the Big Book of AA. It is the Promises
that I continue to receive each day I remain sober.
Recovery is for the taking and living if you
you are willing, openminded and honest.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!! I had to lose everything - home, cats, nursing career, and start over from scratch. I did it by just white-knuckling for a while, relapsed, and finally realized I was DONE!.
I had lurked on SR for a long, long time. I finally joined at 6 months clean. I now have almost 7-1/2 years, but I have found getting my feet back under me isn't as easy as I thought it would be. On the other hand, I have a gratitude list that goes on for miles. I have friends, here, that are all over the world. I vividly remember my "that's enough, I'm done" point, and never want to go back to it.
You've done great for 70 days. You may have lost a lot, but you are young and there is time to get "stuff" back. I will tell you what others taught me, here. Anniversaries (like 90 days, 6 months, one year, etc.) can make you feel squirrely. It definitely did me, in the first year or so. Knowing it was "normal" and that it happened to others, helped me get through those times by clinging to here and f2f support.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I had lurked on SR for a long, long time. I finally joined at 6 months clean. I now have almost 7-1/2 years, but I have found getting my feet back under me isn't as easy as I thought it would be. On the other hand, I have a gratitude list that goes on for miles. I have friends, here, that are all over the world. I vividly remember my "that's enough, I'm done" point, and never want to go back to it.
You've done great for 70 days. You may have lost a lot, but you are young and there is time to get "stuff" back. I will tell you what others taught me, here. Anniversaries (like 90 days, 6 months, one year, etc.) can make you feel squirrely. It definitely did me, in the first year or so. Knowing it was "normal" and that it happened to others, helped me get through those times by clinging to here and f2f support.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I'm so glad you joined us SG. You are never alone, we all understand.
I'm sorry for the hurt and confusion you are feeling - but things can and will get better. 70 days is great, but still early in your recovery. You'll grow stronger and have hope again. Please keep talking to us.
I'm sorry for the hurt and confusion you are feeling - but things can and will get better. 70 days is great, but still early in your recovery. You'll grow stronger and have hope again. Please keep talking to us.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by SG75 
About 70 days sober. Less than 90 days ago, I had a great job, nice apartment in NYC and lived with the love of my life. All are now gone and I just "celebrated"
My 39th birthday. Now I sit in CA, humiliated, profoundly depressed and sober.
No car (coming from NYC), in my home state, no real options, and I just can't figure out who I am or what I can possibly do. To add to losing everything (especially my fiance), I have worked in the bar business for the last 15 years.
I am currently in step 4 and 5 limbo, not knowing where I am going to go in a matter of days.
My 39th birthday. Now I sit in CA, humiliated, profoundly depressed and sober.
No car (coming from NYC), in my home state, no real options, and I just can't figure out who I am or what I can possibly do. To add to losing everything (especially my fiance), I have worked in the bar business for the last 15 years.
I am currently in step 4 and 5 limbo, not knowing where I am going to go in a matter of days.
You may have lost a job, relationship, and apartment, but all those can be regained and more because you are sober. You also have your health, 70 days freedom from a self-destructive addiction, and endless opportunities going forward if you stay sober.
Try to focus on what you can do going forward rather than what you lost. Don't pine for your former life during addiction, your new one will ultimately be better.
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