Started to Feel Weak..Then Came Here
Started to Feel Weak..Then Came Here
Some thoughts started running through my head today. As the Labor Day weekend approaches and we'll be going to the mountains, and I started thinking, "I'm not that bad; I can normally stop after a few beers; my personality pretty much stays the same/gets better with alcohol (more engaging, more relaxed); I'll be on vacation; I work hard, so I deserve to play hard; etc." I got excited because I was going to give myself permission to drink this weekend. Then I got sad, real sad.
I don't want to give myself permission to drink. If I do that, I'll be giving up on myself and my life dream right to be sober, healthy, and live the longest life possible. So I came here to look at the posts, look at my posts, and remember my goals and desires. We have activities planned that don't involve alcohol in any way shape or form like trap shooting and taking long walks by the lake, but there will be down time sitting and visiting on the front porch or shooting pool and I would normally have beer at those times. I just have to keep telling myself no beer for me. If I don't have one, I won't have too many. I have no desire to drink at the moment and if someone offered me a beer right now I could easily say no and not give it another thought. The idea of this weekend without beer feels really hard for me right now for some reason. Ugh
I don't want to give myself permission to drink. If I do that, I'll be giving up on myself and my life dream right to be sober, healthy, and live the longest life possible. So I came here to look at the posts, look at my posts, and remember my goals and desires. We have activities planned that don't involve alcohol in any way shape or form like trap shooting and taking long walks by the lake, but there will be down time sitting and visiting on the front porch or shooting pool and I would normally have beer at those times. I just have to keep telling myself no beer for me. If I don't have one, I won't have too many. I have no desire to drink at the moment and if someone offered me a beer right now I could easily say no and not give it another thought. The idea of this weekend without beer feels really hard for me right now for some reason. Ugh
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
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"I'm not that bad; I can normally stop after a few beers; my personality pretty much stays the same/gets better with alcohol (more engaging, more relaxed); I'll be on vacation; I work hard, so I deserve to play hard; etc." I got excited because I was going to give myself permission to drink this weekend. (
I..me...wants sobriety. That's why I'm here. That's why you're here. You're the angel..and IT'S the devil on your shoulder...like in those old cartoons.
Will you have wifi where your going? Are you able to stay connected to SR? I know "staying connected" has saved me on trips away.
Thanks PurpleKnight and Soberwolf, I'm trying. Thanks Nuudawn, yes, I will definitely have wifi and I will definitely come here. Just coming here after have these thoughts is a huge difference for me.
Hi Sandy. I'm glad you posted about this.
In the early days of quitting I was resentful that I couldn't do what I used to. (Not sure why, since every time I picked up it led to disaster in the end.) Each time we get though a time like this we grow stronger and more determined. You'll prove to yourself that there is life after alcohol - you don't need it to enjoy yourself. It takes a little getting used to our 'new normal', but you'll be so glad once you get over this hurdle. It'll get much easier as you go along.
In the early days of quitting I was resentful that I couldn't do what I used to. (Not sure why, since every time I picked up it led to disaster in the end.) Each time we get though a time like this we grow stronger and more determined. You'll prove to yourself that there is life after alcohol - you don't need it to enjoy yourself. It takes a little getting used to our 'new normal', but you'll be so glad once you get over this hurdle. It'll get much easier as you go along.
In the early days of quitting I was resentful that I couldn't do what I used to. (Not sure why, since every time I picked up it led to disaster in the end.)
This right here. Having beer is such an ingrained part of my weekend life that I guess I am feeling a little resentful that my habits and routine are changing...even if the change is for the better.
This right here. Having beer is such an ingrained part of my weekend life that I guess I am feeling a little resentful that my habits and routine are changing...even if the change is for the better.
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