Maybe O/T? Picked the wrong person?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 127
Maybe O/T? Picked the wrong person?
I'm not sure how I should phrase this really.
I know a guy, and I've known him for years (13 years now!) I had always kinda fancied him, on and off and I later discovered that he had liked me on and off as kids to do. Unfortunately, we never liked each other at the same time.
Recently (and even during the relationship) I've been thinking about him. We met a few times while we were studying (at different places) and there was the possibility of something happening then but I never pursued it because I assumed that he wasn't interested.
I'm thinking that maybe I should've. I sent him a Facebook message today asking if we could get back in contact. I definitely want to be friends with him, but I'm not sure if anything else could happen because we now live in seperate countries (albeit on one big island!) but I've been thinking about him more and more.
I know that I'm not ready for a relationship right now but I do want to talk to him and become good friends again. I missed him over the past couple of years because I was so focused on my old relationship. I've always had feelings for this friend and I supposed I stayed away because I didn't want anything to jeapordise the relationship I already had.
I'm hoping he replies. I feel a bit conflicted though because my XABF still crosses my mind at times.
I know a guy, and I've known him for years (13 years now!) I had always kinda fancied him, on and off and I later discovered that he had liked me on and off as kids to do. Unfortunately, we never liked each other at the same time.
Recently (and even during the relationship) I've been thinking about him. We met a few times while we were studying (at different places) and there was the possibility of something happening then but I never pursued it because I assumed that he wasn't interested.
I'm thinking that maybe I should've. I sent him a Facebook message today asking if we could get back in contact. I definitely want to be friends with him, but I'm not sure if anything else could happen because we now live in seperate countries (albeit on one big island!) but I've been thinking about him more and more.
I know that I'm not ready for a relationship right now but I do want to talk to him and become good friends again. I missed him over the past couple of years because I was so focused on my old relationship. I've always had feelings for this friend and I supposed I stayed away because I didn't want anything to jeapordise the relationship I already had.
I'm hoping he replies. I feel a bit conflicted though because my XABF still crosses my mind at times.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Worried,
I know that we are supposed to just offer es&h here. But sometimes I need to say take things slow. Learn to love yourself first before trying to get into another relationship.
Learn about you and who the "me" is in you. What you want, what you need, what your boundaries are.
I think sometimes that we leave a relationship and we look for another so that we can feel whole again. I think sometimes we need to feel whole again before looking for another relationship.
I know that we are supposed to just offer es&h here. But sometimes I need to say take things slow. Learn to love yourself first before trying to get into another relationship.
Learn about you and who the "me" is in you. What you want, what you need, what your boundaries are.
I think sometimes that we leave a relationship and we look for another so that we can feel whole again. I think sometimes we need to feel whole again before looking for another relationship.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
I agree with Amy. Get to know yourself again. Find what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Get used to living on your own and enjoying your own company. There will be plenty of time for dating later.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I'm hoping he replies. I feel a bit conflicted though because my XABF still crosses my mind at times.
would you want someone who is expressing interest in you to be holding thoughts like that?
do yourself a favor and bless yourself with some man-free time. you already have so much chatter in your head about a FB post to someone you used to know....that is so much of your precious energy......imagine how that might ramp up if he does get back to you, you go on a date, he brings a toothbrush.
how does it go? free your mind.....and the rest will follow.
would you want someone who is expressing interest in you to be holding thoughts like that?
do yourself a favor and bless yourself with some man-free time. you already have so much chatter in your head about a FB post to someone you used to know....that is so much of your precious energy......imagine how that might ramp up if he does get back to you, you go on a date, he brings a toothbrush.
how does it go? free your mind.....and the rest will follow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 127
You are all right! I don't know why I began to think of him again - maybe because we are friends from old times and I want to go back to before all this crap happened!
I am going to focus on myself for a while - my mum and I have started a business so I will focus on that, my job and myself
Thanks everyone, I felt so conflicted over it all!
I am going to focus on myself for a while - my mum and I have started a business so I will focus on that, my job and myself
Thanks everyone, I felt so conflicted over it all!
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