thotful

While I was working on my lawn yesterday, my neighbor was chatting with a friend of theirs. They were talking so loudly, I literally was unable to unhear what they were saying. It was obviously sensitive, because the neighbor was talking about addiction issues somewhere in their family. (ps - my lawnmower is electric and super quiet)

Do I just put headphones on next time so I don't hear it?

I wonder if I'm being "eavesdropping" by doing anything less than trying to avoid hearing anything (headphones, etc). There was a part of me that was interested (the Codependent part?). Especially since this person was expressing frustration about addiction somewhere in the family. I wasn't listening too intently, only bits and pieces while I was trying to NOT HEAR and at the same time, actually work on my own lawn.

Do I approach the neighbor and apologize for maybe some eavesdropping or accidentally hearing some of the conversation? Suggest that I wear headphones next time? Or just let him know that if he doesn't want me overhearing his business, he might want to consider his volume when he's outside and how close his neighbor is?

Point out that I'm a person in recovery and have been sober for almost 2 years - have family members currently suffering from addiction? That he could talk if he wants to?

Or...do I just leave it alone completely? Is it my cody self that wants to rescue? or is there outreach opportunity here.

Refiner

That's one to definitely leave alone. What would be the point in bringing up that you overheard? Unless you want to let him know you're there to talk if he wants to... but even then, you could really embarass him or make him very angry that you overheard his crap (I know, even though he was very LOUD about it). I just wouldn't GO there in the first place.

hopeful4

If it was too private of a conversation they would not have been loudly having it outside. That is fair game. Mow on and don't worry about it.

Thumper

I would 110% leave it alone. Don't worry about avoiding or commenting or anything. Carry on with your life and if they want privacy they will go inside, if they want input they will ask for it.

Shining~Again

Agreed, on remaining quiet.
However! I'd make sure to "announce" my presense in some way.

Like a cough or a sneeze...cause then they realise "Oh. Others can hear these private
conversations." I've overheard a lot of things in my life that I shouldn't of.
People get loud when passionate about something. It's completely normal.

You sound like a very considerate neighbor and person.

CodeJob

Hello Thotful,

Isn't it amazing how people on cell phones are jabbering away in grocery stores and commuter trains about all their drama? I'd take this as a similar assumption that you could not hear them...

biminiblue

Say nothing.

As they say in AA - stay in your own hula hoop.

NWGRITS

Not everyone feels the need to hide the fact that there's addiction in their families. Part of the disease is keeping secrets. Almost everyone has addiction somewhere in their family. Hiding it doesn't help awareness and providing help for those who need it but don't have access. There's no need to let them know you overheard.