TamaraL

I remember when my drinking did me no harm. The late night with my friends laughing and dancing. Where it was pure innocence to encourage each other to have another drink. Fast forward 10 years and it is a whole different story. In my sobriety I find myself asking How so often. How is it that something that was once innocent fun became such a problem for me. How is it my friends know when they have had enough and I cant. How is it that something that once made me so care free has isolated and embarrassed me. There is so many How's and on some days I am caught up in a wondering mind on what makes me so different. I have not had a drink in 8 months which is a first. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world and then there are days that I am consumed with all the "Hows" of my addiction. They say that I am a dry drunk, that in order to maintain my sobriety I need to reach out. But How do you do that when you have been isolated for so long? How am I to reach out and ask for help in a disease that I do not understand. I am hopeful that I can start figuring out some of my How's and hope that each day may lead to some answers. But for now I will ponder.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum TamaraL!!

You'll find loads of support here, stick around and, keep reading and posting, it's great to have you onboard!!

FreeOwl

doesn't matter.

You may never be able to answer that....

fact is; it did. It changed and it became what it is and because of that, you have a choice; change it, or continue on watching it get even worse.



You're here, so I'm going to assume you've chosen the former. That's great! Focus on that. Because spending time trying to logic out the "how" is just your mind's clever sneaky way of trying to find the answer to how you can get those glory days back again and get this thing in check and be like the good old days.

You can't.

Let go of that and spend your focus on HOW....

HOW can I live my life as joyously as possible here in this next chapter of freedom from addiction?

DopieDopeMan

We shouldn't be asking why, but what. Why is often a much harder question to ponder. What, however, is usually more practical. What are we going to do so that we can live the life we want to and be happy and healthy? What do we need to change so we aren't invaded by negative thoughts?

ultradad

I reached out by going to AA and being of service to others who suffer with this disease and that's the answer as well! How? it's a disease and one we didn't ask for!

ElleDee

That's the question I need an answer to. I'm having one HECK of a day and even though I know I won't go home and drink tonight... I am having trouble staying positive.

zerothehero

Tamara, I get the isolation thing. That's why I'm here on SR.

instant

well come to SR.

The stuff is addictive and changes our brains

Wastinglife

Hi Tamara. I am isolated with regret and shame, probably not too far from you in Toronto. I am also in a dry-drunk state. Sober, but feeling like I got hit by a truck. I am just starting to come to terms with my past that for so long was suppressed by alcohol and anti-depressants. I am seeing a therapist for the first time in my life and she has been really helpful getting me to feel again. The drawback is that I am going through a myriad of emotions and anxiety about past misdeeds. All part of the process I guess.

Have you considered a therapist?

Jupiters

welcome Tamara
I hope you stick around for awhile!

DopieDopeMan

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time today. One thing you can look forward to is a better tomorrow. Make a plan to do something you like at the weekend or at the next convenient time and start looking forward to it

JD4010

Yes. Do something like BUY ICE CREAM. Me? I'm a cookie/cake/pie fanatic. I've been hitting those recently, rather than booze. It works!

So does really really good root beer.