Windancer

It is day 3 for me without a drink. The past two days have been an extreme rollercoaster, with many external added stressors. I feel ok right now, but still have thoughts of...well, maybe I can drink on holidays. Maybe I can get a bottle of booze when im alone. All this AV crap. Ive been eating better. What I need to get a handle on right now is ROUTINE and STRUCTURE. And I need to return to my passions....my Spirituality, love for animals, and passion for fitness and natural health. I guess I really lack balance. And of course I want it all at once. Im trying to remember the Serenity Prayer, and take it one moment at a time. I half expect Ill be back on here later in a desperate rage of despair, but hopefully not. At least I have a fairly busy day ahead. Isolation had been a big problem for me. Getting out with wholesome friends and training horses usually makes me feel better.
This morning I was thinking the counting days things bug me! So if I slip up one day I have to start all over? I tend to think not, unless its a full blown bender relapse. Or maybe that's my AV making excuses again...Im not sure . ...slightly overwhelmed.

trachemys

So don't count days. I'm not. My entire sobriety program can be summed up in three words. I repeat them over and over and over, as needed.

I don't drink.

No counting, or bringing myself down with my past behaviors, or guilt, or hoping I don't relapse.

I don't drink.

I've always loved sailboats. Some people can't take the ride and get seasick. Do you know how to stop seasickness? Keep your eyes on the horizon. Focus on a goal and the ride isn't so bad.

DopieDopeMan

Returning to exercise is important to me, it helped me stay sober for a long time in the past and is helping again. Work out pretty hard as much as you are able so that you are simply too tired to be stressed out to such a high level.

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through!!

Windancer

Just came back from training some horses...in a good mood even though 3 pm is usually when I get down. Trying to keep positive and busy. I do have a confession though....when I was in Walmart, I had the STUPID STUPID childish idea of buying hand sanitizer to drink. EEEEwwwww. Just a stupid though. Walmart is also right beside the liquor store.
Yes, working out has helped me in the past too. The past few days Ive been so tried and my endurance low...I think I need a wee bit of time for my body to build up a little strength.

DopieDopeMan

Yeah, i'm no doctor but I think a hand sanitizer to drink is a bad idea, hehe

Well done on not doing it though or buying liquor.

Take some "me time", treat yourself to some tasty food and unwind & relax (I like long soaks in the bath myself, works wonders for stress and anxiety). We're here for you and we will get through this together

Windancer

Thanks DopieDopeMan

Aellyce

I had this thread about establishing new routines a while ago, maybe you find something useful in it:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-routines.html

I've improved quite a bit since but keeping routines and balance is always a challenge for me, on and off. My suggestion is that you set small goals and work on them step-by-step, small changes instead of trying to blow everything at once. Of course staying sober is big enough on its own.

Jupiters

small goals seem to be key for me as well. I have a tendency to "GO HARD OR GO HOME" in everything I do.
In sobriety I am learning that that isn't really helpful for me to do as it may leave me feeling like I failed and therefore, want to drink.
Setting small, but attainable goals seems to be the trick (for me anyways)

I hope you find something that gets you through these moments!

(ps - don't drink hand sanitizer)

Hawkeye13

Yep. Too much at once is giving yourself an out to fail.

Just don't drink no matter what and get through the days without counting if you don't want to doing little routines that build gradually.

Sounds simple, but it works.

Have you thought of getting some face to face therapy or AA?

Sometimes help in the beginning can give you structure when you can't give it fully to yourself yet.

Just like ponying a young horse on their first trail rides.

That lead line is a comfort to horse and rider

Windancer

Yes. Goals. Structure. Routine. But simple at first .

Windancer

Hawkeye: I regularly see my psychologist. That helps a lot. I have gone to many AA meetings in the area. Only problem is, Ive found a lot of creepy guys hitting on me. Perhaps Ive just been to the wrong groups. I know not all group are like that, but it really put me off. It happened a few times, and I just cant seem to get that out of my head. I am limited as I don't have a license, but I have a supportive partner that helps me out as much as he can. If I found a group of good people locally, I would go. Or an all womens group.