killerinstinct

Today I had a meltdown, my ex husband told me he is in a serious relationship with a woman who he's very in love with, who's amazing, who's smart etc.. Wasn't I those things?? I am shocked partly because she's the one that got it right and they don't have problems - it hurts to face this. I am in some ways glad that he is her problem now but still upset that I've completely lost the man I fell in love with. He has done nothing but cause me heartache for 4 years .. I think now I'll start to have closure. I know my worth, I just feel so stupid for caring about someone like this and for allowing my health to deteriorate over the stress he's caused me for breaking my heart. I am such a fool.

Windancer

You are not a fool . Im sorry to hear this has happened, yet it sounds like you really deserve better. And Im sure you are amazing and smart....he sounds like the fool for not seeing it. I do hope you can go through the grieving process, have closure, look after yourself and your health and begin to heal. Blessing to you! We are all here to help and support you.

Croissant

i think no matter what the situation, hearing our ex is with someone that makes them happy is always a bit of an ego blow.

I'm not familiar with your specific situation, but give yourself time to adjust and try not to focus on the "how" or the "why" she makes him happy. It will never help you. People change, life circumstances change.

When every door closes, there is the possibility for something wonderful to happen in the future. Try to prepare yourself for that, rather than on the past, which sounds like it cannot be fixed.

Sorry your heart is breaking a little right now.

NWGRITS

Oh, the charade will fall apart eventually. He's probably hiding his drinking from her until she's good 'n stuck. Then all hell will break loose. That's almost always how it goes. Stand by with popcorn at the ready.

SparkleKitty

Oh honey. The people who say everything is perfect and don't have problems are ALWAYS the ones with the WORST problems of all. Sending great big polar bear hugs.

honeypig

KI, I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad right now, but I agree w/those who say that the "perfect" exterior is only a shell and will give way sooner or later. At some point, you'll be able to be grateful for your distance from the catastrophe.

You are NO FOOL. A member here has an avatar that says "Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." Please try to bear that in mind, if you can.

Mags1

(((Killerinstinct))), time to move on xx

CodeJob

Hello KI!

I think you are grieving what could have been more than what was. Hugs.

anchorhold

I always go back to this poem, when thinking of my marriage, as a litmus test of how strong the relationship is or isn't:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

If this wasn't how your marriage was, then you're lucky to be rid of him and move on.
You deserve no less than this!
Stay strong,
>AH

lizatola

This is what I was going to say! My dad met a woman VERY quickly after my parents announced their divorce and the only thing that kept their marriage alive was the fact that her job required her to travel around the country every single week. She told me many times that she would have killed my father if she had to live with him day in and day out, LOL. Yes, she was joking but she really meant that she most likely would have divorced him or left him. The funny thing is, after my dad died, she joined a dating website and wound up dating another alcoholic last year. She finally broke it off with him and now is with another man who I think is a much better fit for her. I love my stepmom, even though she didn't come into my life until I was in college. I'm so grateful that she took care of my sick alcoholic father so that I didn't have to!!!

HealingWillCome

Confirmation of his jackass status right there. What healthy, giving, caring man feels the need to say those things to his ex? Um, none of them. Not one of them.

Only an insecure man with a need to feed his ego says those things to his ex. He's messing with you, trying to boost himself. Seriously. I understand that those things hurt, but they speak volumes about him, and say nothing about you. I really hope that you can see past the hurt to see that this is about HIS EGO and nothing more.

He is her problem now. Count your blessings, sister! Huge hugs to you.