Going on to day 5
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,001
Things always seem to workout. I think for people like us the key is sobriety. Its sounds cliche and cheesy but its true. That karma train is going to be coming around the bend for you. You make me proud.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Boise Idaho
Posts: 76
Hooray for day 5! I'm so glad to see you are still here. I hope that you and your ex will be able to work through this, but definitely keep focused on your recovery. Ultimately, you are doing this for you.
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 56
Congrats girl! I hope it works out. Like all the others said though, put yourself first. You also don't want him to ever see you like that again. When I think of what my roommate saw me like this past weekend, I know that will help me stay sober for good. We don't want to be "that girl". Good luck
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,432
You are doing well and congrats on Day 5 lawgirl,
but please deeply consider the following disclaimer:
get sober for you, not to "fix" your relationship.
He may or may not decide to continue the relationship,
but if your focus, and reason for stopping drinking, is about him,
then it is unlikely you will succeed in recovery, not just quitting drinking.
Everything changes, and must change, when you deal with substance addiction.
All the ways you deal with emotions, process anger or hurt, and engage people socially must be examined and many times discarded or changed.
Especially if you started drinking young, as many of us did, you may have to learn how to respond
to negative things in an "adult" way, which can be tough if you are a "get drunk and fight" type of person.
I grew up with that from my alcoholic mother, and that's how I
frequently dealt with conflict or pain too until I stopped drinking.
Getting some good cognitive therapy and keeping an honest journal can help quite a lot with this processing.
It is, if you truly engage, sometimes hard and painful work but the
rewards are incredible, and they are with you no matter what happens with your fiance.
I wish you great success in your recovery and keep up the excellent work
but please deeply consider the following disclaimer:
get sober for you, not to "fix" your relationship.
He may or may not decide to continue the relationship,
but if your focus, and reason for stopping drinking, is about him,
then it is unlikely you will succeed in recovery, not just quitting drinking.
Everything changes, and must change, when you deal with substance addiction.
All the ways you deal with emotions, process anger or hurt, and engage people socially must be examined and many times discarded or changed.
Especially if you started drinking young, as many of us did, you may have to learn how to respond
to negative things in an "adult" way, which can be tough if you are a "get drunk and fight" type of person.
I grew up with that from my alcoholic mother, and that's how I
frequently dealt with conflict or pain too until I stopped drinking.
Getting some good cognitive therapy and keeping an honest journal can help quite a lot with this processing.
It is, if you truly engage, sometimes hard and painful work but the
rewards are incredible, and they are with you no matter what happens with your fiance.
I wish you great success in your recovery and keep up the excellent work
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Yes, I recommend a journal, too. It can express your deepest thoughts. If you don't ever want anybody else to read it, get a locked file box to which you hold the only key.
I like to write letters to myself, complete with fountain pen and sealing wax, and put them in the box when they arrive. Maybe two years later I'll read them. It is fascinating and encouraging to see how far I've come and how I've solved difficulties, and how my HP has worked.
I am glad that you and your ex-fiance are communicating. Be sure to persevere and work hard in your sobriety. You will begin to love the sober life for its own sake, not just for the fringe benefits it brings. It does get easier. Persevere!
I like to write letters to myself, complete with fountain pen and sealing wax, and put them in the box when they arrive. Maybe two years later I'll read them. It is fascinating and encouraging to see how far I've come and how I've solved difficulties, and how my HP has worked.
I am glad that you and your ex-fiance are communicating. Be sure to persevere and work hard in your sobriety. You will begin to love the sober life for its own sake, not just for the fringe benefits it brings. It does get easier. Persevere!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,432
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
Yes, I recommend a journal, too. It can express your deepest thoughts. If you don't ever want anybody else to read it, get a locked file box to which you hold the only key.
I like to write letters to myself, complete with fountain pen and sealing wax, and put them in the box when they arrive. Maybe two years later I'll read them. It is fascinating and encouraging to see how far I've come and how I've solved difficulties, and how my HP has worked.
I am glad that you and your ex-fiance are communicating. Be sure to persevere and work hard in your sobriety. You will begin to love the sober life for its own sake, not just for the fringe benefits it brings. It does get easier. Persevere!
I like to write letters to myself, complete with fountain pen and sealing wax, and put them in the box when they arrive. Maybe two years later I'll read them. It is fascinating and encouraging to see how far I've come and how I've solved difficulties, and how my HP has worked.
I am glad that you and your ex-fiance are communicating. Be sure to persevere and work hard in your sobriety. You will begin to love the sober life for its own sake, not just for the fringe benefits it brings. It does get easier. Persevere!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hi, Lawgirl. We chatted for a bit the other evening. You seem like such a nice young woman and your desire to get better comes through strongly.
I've read your posts over recent days and really have to "second" what Hawkeye13 and others have written. You *must* get better for yourself. You and your fiancee may reconcile. Or not.
Your first priority has to be on getting better so that you can have a vibrant future whatever happens in other parts of your life.
Take good care.
I've read your posts over recent days and really have to "second" what Hawkeye13 and others have written. You *must* get better for yourself. You and your fiancee may reconcile. Or not.
Your first priority has to be on getting better so that you can have a vibrant future whatever happens in other parts of your life.
Take good care.
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