Loulousweakness

I decided to join this community because I feel like I can't speak with my boyfriend about what is going on in his life. He is a recovering addict with OxyContin and other drugs. I am noticing a lot of different patters that he seemed like he didn't have before. He's been lying to me about a lot of things. The lies are just piling up to the point where I wouldn't know where to start. They are so obvious for example, numbers of him communicating with a person whom I know for a fact is still using. Sent and received messages. He tells me the phone company messed up. He's pawning stuff and has a job. The list goes on. I am saddened by this and I don't know what to do. When I try and talk to him about it he makes me feel bad by telling me things like, "when I'm doing good, no one believes me" and "you are making me feel like a failure" our conversations always just lead to him pointing the finger at me. All I hear is you, you, you. There's no "I" on his part. Everyone is telling me to leave him but I love him and feel like if I leave him, who would stay? Besides that, he is good to me. He is a wonderful person, he encouraged me to do things that I never would have done without him, very intelligent. But I feel I have lost every bit of trust in him. Now I'm just sitting here telling him I won't leave, and just try to keep a smile on my face and make him feel like everything is ok but it's not. I feel he is in complete denial. I don't know what to do. I just wish he would talk to me.

autumn2

He is definitely relapsing. Him trying to turn it around on you,is his way of trying to take the heat off him. Pills are vicious and usually a lifetime problem. I would listen to my friends advice and leave. It gets crazier and crazier.

Notmyrealname

Why keep betting on a losing hand? I assume it's fear -- fear of the unknown, and fear of being lonely.

Neither of those is anywhere close to awful, and certainly not as awful as dealing with a bunch of addict BS. And you get a "fresh start" - you can find love with someone who isn't damaged goods so your relationship isn't starting the race with a ten-length handicap.

PurpleKnight

The following doesn't add up:

We can very easily have a nostalgic feel over relationships, how things used to be, a hope that someone might change, and they may do, but you need to look at how the relationship is going for YOU in the here and now.