Elisabeth888

I called my new insurance for help tonight and spoke to a doctor. They told me to come in to the ER due to some stuff that has been happening.

This binge has been a month, and my longest ever. I usually did 3 or 4 days before my ex husband put a stop to it.

I don't have that now, and as usual, I over-exaggerate stuff- I am not dying. I am having anxiety attacks from drinking and because I am out of one of my meds.

I have to check out of this hotel and into the ER tomorrow, I need to turn over my 11 year old chocolate and 14 year old 20 lb cat to my brother. Then the only place I have to live is on his couch.

Until I find a place. I am on disability. I just got divorced and I can't stop whining about it. I signed the papers when I was drunk.

I literally feel like I am going to die. I am afraid to be around people. eat, be normal, everything. I feel like I have a severe social phobia.



I got an older lady at this hotel really high on pot last night and I have done but worry about the cops coming to get me.

Because of that and my room reeks of pot.

I have barely gotten out of the bed in weeks.

I am not going to do anything crazy, I just haven't been able to get out of the bed.


But I AM going to the ER tomorrow, per all of my favorite peoples' instructions. I CANNOT DO IT ALONE.

I am on the highway to death.

Now I need to go smoke another cigarette so I can hack more later.

Lenina

((((Elisabeth)))) you're doing the right thing by going to the ER and I hope they can help arrange rehab for you. I'm glad you posted.

Love from Lenina

Elisabeth888

My emotions are messed up because of the drinking.

It's like I want to figuratively dig my grave, but in my head it is literal.


I just can't believe he dumped me. After 18 years.

Yes, I need a cap that says Moo. Cuz that's all I have done earl latley.

Lenina

((((Elizabeth)))). I hope they can help you at the hospital. Sounds like you've been through a lot. I think once you get detoxed and maybe some proper meds, you'll be able to think more clearly. have you been an AA person? I bet they will let someone from AA visit you and help you get started on sobriety.

Believe it or not, things get better.

Keep reading and keep posting. Let us know how you're doing.

Love from Lenina

Elisabeth888

Yes, I have been in and out of the rooms for about six years now.

By longest sobriety has been 13 months. I relapsed February 9 of this year and could not stop doing it over and over.

Frothy emotional appeal truly does not work.

I am struggling at wanting it for myself, but this also has to do with my meds. I am just an all-around wackadoodle.

MythOfSisyphus

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise it that's the "straw that broke the camel's back" with regard to drinking. I am divorced too and it's painful...about as painful as anything I have lived through. But I did live through it. If it gets gives you the kick in the butt to get sober you will live through it, too.

Sending hugs your way!

PurpleKnight

You can do this!!

Elisabeth888

I have never been through anything this hard in my life.

I mourned, and still mourn my mother, but this is a lot tougher.

It is time for me to "suck it up buttercup", though.

Nuudawn

When did you dump you? Did that happen before or in the marriage?

We need you here Liz.

soberlicious

Well, listen, I have good news. Being an all around whackadoodle does not condemn you to a life of addiction. Trust me, I know this to be true first hand. It is my personal experience that being a non drinking whackadoodle is far superior to being a drunk whackadoodle. You know this.