I called my new insurance for help tonight and spoke to a doctor. They told me to come in to the ER due to some stuff that has been happening.
This binge has been a month, and my longest ever. I usually did 3 or 4 days before my ex husband put a stop to it.
I don't have that now, and as usual, I over-exaggerate stuff- I am not dying. I am having anxiety attacks from drinking and because I am out of one of my meds.
I have to check out of this hotel and into the ER tomorrow, I need to turn over my 11 year old chocolate and 14 year old 20 lb cat to my brother. Then the only place I have to live is on his couch.
Until I find a place. I am on disability. I just got divorced and I can't stop whining about it. I signed the papers when I was drunk.
I literally feel like I am going to die. I am afraid to be around people. eat, be normal, everything. I feel like I have a severe social phobia.
I got an older lady at this hotel really high on pot last night and I have done but worry about the cops coming to get me.
Because of that and my room reeks of pot.
I have barely gotten out of the bed in weeks.
I am not going to do anything crazy, I just haven't been able to get out of the bed.
But I AM going to the ER tomorrow, per all of my favorite peoples' instructions. I CANNOT DO IT ALONE.
I am on the highway to death.
Now I need to go smoke another cigarette so I can hack more later.
