Becki67

He quit drinking a few days ago....now he's an a**. He's insulting to me and mean to one of my dogs. What's the worst evil? The drunk on the couch or the sober a**? Lose lose situation. The dog was counter surfing and licked some pieces of bread he had on the counter he was getting ready to use. He screams, the dog growls, he threatens to shoot him and slams out the door. I'm sorry but its freakin' bread....get off your butt and get more.

I know what I need to do so no need to tell me. I'm making my plans.

Tamerua

Just sending hugs...sounds like you're resolved to doing what you need to do, which is great.

Bullfrog

Just remember, they are the same person.

Hammer

In that regard I envy you.

All the Best on the rest.

theuncertainty

Becki, I was completely picturing a big, fluffy Newfie standing - all four paws - on the counter like a surfboard, and HOW did he get there without knocking everything off? Small laugh at myself when I realized the Newfie could reach the bread while standing on the floor. (Been a long week and I could use some coffee.)

Wishing you peace and continued strength.

dandylion

Becki---detoxing and early recovery is so miserable for everyone involved that I think there should be a law that the alcoholic and their loved ones should be separate during that time.

That law should include provisions that state that the alcoholic, in early recovery, should be attended and supported ONLY by other alcoholics (recovering, of course) or experienced professionals.

In this law--early recovery would be considered--at minimum-- the detox period plus one year.

This would eliminate train loads of human suffering on all sides. (and dog suffering, also...LOL).

Do you get my drift........?

dandylion

NWGRITS

He's only been at this a few days. His brain is still soaked in alcohol, but unlike when he's actively drinking, it's drying out. He has to learn to live and breathe without alcohol. His brain has to recover from the abuse it's been receiving for however long. Stopping the consumption doesn't make unicorns poop rainbows across the sky. It's simply the first step in a very long, very difficult process. He's going to go through a lot of changes in the first few months, and it's not always going to be pretty.

I'm not saying to drop everything and excuse his behavior, because it's still unacceptable. I'm simply saying to keep that in mind and act accordingly. It takes a good year for a recovering A to level out.

choublak

Does he have a gun?

meggem

I can't be objective. Mine was the same way and he went to rehab and then had outpatient. Ok so he is 3 hairs different but too much damage had been done for me to support him. 100 hairs different wasn't going to save the marriage now that I look back.

I "tried" but I think deep down inside I was done even before he went to rehab. I would say either get completely on board or jump ship.

The in-between sucks. I was the in-between and it's an awful place to be.

Hawkeye13

Once someone threatens my dogs with shooting, it would be a done deal for me too.

I don't care if they meant it or not.

Seren

Oh, Becki, I'm sorry for the tension. Can you get away for short periods of time so that he can be all cranky pants by himself? Do you have a local dog park where you and your furbabies can go play?

Hang in there...I'm glad you have a plan in place for yourself

PurpleKnight

The problem is he's withdrawing from alcohol, if it's only been a few days his mind/body doesn't know whether it's coming or going, it'll take quite a long time for things to level out and adjust.

It's still no excuse for rude behaviour, the suggestion on giving each other some space is a good idea.

Stung

It usually takes about a month for my husband to completely dry out and stop acting like an a-hole. Sobriety is a whole lot more than just not drinking too.

choublak

First of all, if an alcoholic is "sober" for a few days, a week, etc., and goes back to drinking, I don't consider that "early recovery".

Second of all, I don't care if you have Ebola, amoebic dysentery, or herpes (any of the symplexes). Anyone who threatens my animals, or me, will not be allowed in my house.

Becki67

Lots of good suggestions. To answer the question about the gun, he has one, but I hid and hid the bullets in another place. I told him that if he's gonna drink, there will be no guns at his disposal.

Uncertainty, LOL...my counters aren't big enough fnor them to get on. They can reach them easily. My oldest one time ate every top off every cupcake in a pan I had cooling. He couldn't get them out of the tins so just ate the top. He also ate 32 mini creampuff shells I had cooling once...rotten!

This is back and forth. He doesn't quit for long...30 days is the longest he's gone ever so we'll be back on the drinking cycle soon. It's just me he takes it out on...he was pleasant to everyone else yesterday, but took his frustration out on me. I yelled right back at him yesterday and he walked out again.

We're coming to the end now...he knows it and I know it.

I can't wait to get off of this roller coaster.

healthyagain

Mine is also generally worse when he does not drink. But now he is reaching the point where he is equally depressed with or without drinking. (And he has learned finally that being pissy and agressive around me does not make me jump around him trying to please him. This is when I immediately leave.) And I have decided to let him hit the bottom. He is getting there. Slowly, but surely.

Keep working on your plans for yourself.