bookmaven

If you have a loved one locked up as a consequence of their addiction how do you cope? I know some things I should do, i.e. take care of myself, go for a walk, eat well, etc. Some days are better than others. Today is one of those other days.

hopeful4

Hello. I am sorry you are having a hard time. It sounds like you know the things to do to cope but are having a hard time doing so. I think it's important to give yourself a day to just be. To say, ok, today may not be the best but tomorrow I will get back on track and do the things I need to do to take good care of ME. Do you attend Alanon or any support groups? You may find great comfort there.

Good Luck!

lillamy

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I think regardless of where your loved one is, and in what condition, taking care of yourself should always be your first priority.

I don't have any experience of your particular situation, but I think your instincts are right -- you can't just sit around and wait for him to be released. Keep building your life, do things you love, make yourself get outside and meet people and LIVE. (((hugs)))

sunday9

My ABF (possible soon to be ex) was in prison for about 18 months for dui. He was lucky and got to spend most of it in a rehab unit. The time actually went by quickly for me. I suddenly had a new lifestyle to learn. There is a great place to go ... prisontalk.com where you can interact with others like on here. I worked on his "parole packet." I made sure to try to write or send a card every day or two. Phone calls were too expensive so I spent the money on visits instead. I drove about 3 hours 2x a month for an hour visit. All this kept me rather busy!

Other than that my life was normal - working, friends, tv, even a vacation. The experience wasn't so bad for me as I knew he was short-term in all this. If it had been a longer sentence or happened again...well I just don't know.............

NWGRITS

Is there anything you like to do that you couldn't because of their addiction taking center stage? Go do it! You have the freedom to focus on yourself 110%, which we don't get to do when the addict is taking so much of our attention. You don't need permission or to justify yourself, just go. My therapist always asks me, "What have you done for yourself that is loving, nurturing, and kind?" Sooooo? What have you done?

bookmaven

I'm in recovery too. I work on that everyday.

Florence

I do something really kind and caring for myself, or give myself permission to lay under a blanket and tune out with movies and comfort food and neglect my chores.

You know how to get a bad day over with? Go to bed, start again tomorrow.