patricia68

After multiple relapses I want to be prepared and learn to avoid the triggers.

No judgement here, I really want to learn from other people's mistakes.

So what are the most common causes of a relapse?

To me: To think I can have "just" one glass.
To feel tired of struggling with the withdrawals and see very small improvement (like when you go to the gym every day and and the end of the week you only lost half a pound...so you want to give up)

What are yours?

MIRecovery

Thinking all I had to do was quit drinking

PurpleKnight

My biggest was the myth I could have 1 drink, somehow I was cured/fixed through a period of abstinence, I could now moderate, but when you think about it rationally that makes no sense, why would the results be any different, how have my genetics somehow been magically changed, simply through a period of abstinence?!! . . . once I grasped and accepted this, I cracked part of the problem.

The second thing is not simply taking drinking out of my life and carrying on the same life, that equals having too much time sitting doing nothing and guess what? thinking about drinking, that is a recipe for disaster!! We can't simply take alcohol out of our lives, we need to carve out a new lifestyle and routine of life, new activities, new goals, fill all that time we spent fuelling our addictions with a new lifestyle, a new Sober pattern of life, it needed to be that extreme in order for me to succeed!!

Mentium

I agree with MIRecovery. Abstaining for long term alcohol addiction isn't enough (I thought it was for many years). 'Recovery' is about learning to live differently without alcohol and how to cope with the stresses and strains of life, which we thought alcohol dealt with. Of course it never did, but for brief periods problems were obliterated.

Relapse seems invariably a response to feeling pressured but without the tools to cope.

Nuudawn

Despite my non-membership in a recovery group like AA...
the first thing that entered my mind was ..
"Not working a good program of recovery".

But I think there is truth to that. I think we have to give our addiction the respect its due. It's a giant SOB that has consumed the best part of our life and we figure we can just "quit"? We figure we can just "stop" and carry on with our lives...business as usual?
No. Everything has to change in so many ways.
I know for me...I had no healthy coping mechanisms.
I have to learn some.
I don't have any active hobbies or interests anymore.
I have to get some.
I have to look at my stuff and face my fears.
I have to stay in my present and now get too caught up in the anxiety of my future of the depression inducing dwelling of my past.
I have to focus on myself and my sobriety.
I have to practice "H.A.L.T"...when a craving hits...I have to check in with myself on those things to see if any of its in play.

I have to learn to reach outward to people for my intimacy needs rather than holing myself up inwards with a bottle of wine.

Those are the things that come to my mind off the hop.

CAPTAINZING2000

Slip

Sobriety
Losing
It's
Priority


I went to bed last night, I was an alcoholic
I got up this morning, I'm an alcoholic.

My mental outlook had to change. I've given up the idea I can drink like a normal person.
I've given up the idea I can drink and there isn't going to be consequences.
I don't know about the rest of you all but, I got hangovers.
Why would any person with a sound mind want to do something that makes them feel like they have intestinal flu the next day?

northof49

I think for me, my relapses, and there were many, came from one simple fact - I wanted to drink more than I wanted to remain sober. Once I has finally realized this simple truth, staying sober has become much easier, still have my days and moments, but remembering what I was like when I drank makes me want to stay sober.

MIRecovery

Pretty much sums it up. I have seen probably 1000s on SR that could not grasp this concept and they were never heard from again

IOAA2

As stated I wanted to drink more than cope with getting sober. When that attitude changed I needed to become honest with myself about MY drinking and seek recovery rather than just stop drinking and stay miserable. This is a learning process and becoming teachable is imperative.
It’s frightening the number of relapses who just don’t make it back into soberity.

BE WELL

Kevin78

For me it's if I keep away from here for a few days, Not going to AA. I feel I start slipping not long after i'm not around. I binge then withdrawals, Depression kicks in. It's one vicious cycle. I'm suffering today, This is my day 1. I need to make recovery my priority and stick around here. I got a feeling I said that before. It's a shame there are so many people around for help and I keep making a hash of it.

Nonsensical

Despite decades of experiences to the contrary, believing that voice in my head that tells me next time will be different.

ReadyAtLast

Thinking once I'd had a period of abstinence I didn't really have a problem and could control it. It's easy to forget how bad it was

DefconOne

Relapses are the result of good planning and arguments made by your alcoholic brain. Example excuse for a relapse or so called 'slip': I just happened to be walking by this bar you know, and I was just going in for something to eat you see, and by golly if I didn't meet old so and so, I just had to be hospitable and catch up, and you know one thing led to another, then one drink then another, so on and so forth...WHOOPS..drunk again. How did that 'happen'?

happycampers

Great thread guys and excellent replys !!! Thank you

liss74

Self loathing and not doing the work to fill my cup of love up really runing empty and getting the F it's !

Notmyrealname

Causes of relapse?

Buying alcohol.

Hanging out with people who have alcohol.

Being in places where there is alcohol.


It's awfully hard to drink alcohol without any alcohol. The holistic part of recovery is large, deep and broad, but the mechanics of sobriety are not complicated. Me over here, booze over there, and ne'er the twain shall meet.

Soberpotamus

In my opinion, this is the best book about relapse and its prevention that I'm aware of: Staying Sober: A Guide for Relapse Prevention by Terence Gorski. I have recommended this book to lots of people. It helped me more than any other book in early recovery.

AnvilheadII

not having a fool proof "I will not use NO MATTER WHAT, period" plan. or as the NA Basic Text says - still having reservations. an out. a door not firmly nailed shut.

when you are truly done, nothing will MAKE you use, CAUSE you to use, or be a good enough reason to use.

happyandfree

Forgetting how bad it was.
Not developing strong enough coping skills for when stress hits..
Not having enough fun without alcohol-boredom.
thinking I can drink like a normal person.
H.A.L.T.
not having a support group/system.
all of the above...plus some...

highvolt

Thinking, "One won"t hurt, I deserve it for being sober."