CodeJob

Several times this week RAH spoke about drinking. I did OK. Just acknowledged that in the past it really was his go to method to deal with life. I managed to keep all my whirring assessments and nuclear key codes under wraps. I did not go on any mining expeditions. I left him alone. Thursday night we were alone and he told me he had his review the other day and did not get a raise. Ah. So that was his issue! I said, "I am sure you are disappointed. What are you going to do - if anything?" Then I just listened to conversation response #181. In my head I'm thinking, this mate of mine is seriously ACOA. But I kept my Type A advice columnist under wraps for once.

Meanwhile, RAH remains on a high powered chore frenzy. Some of it is how he was raised, some of it is to keep himself occupied, and some of it is showing how he feels in his limited way. I'm doing a lot better letting him clean and putter endlessly, do a few things myself, and admiring things vocally with a nice nice pat on the hand or shoulder.

Yesterday morning I got up and when I walked out with my car I noticed a rope hanging from the garage beam. I thought he was preparing to hang himself. Literally first thought in my Codie worst case scenario world. My second Codie thought was he did not hang it quite right and the knots were too lose if that was truly his planned intent.

So I hunt him down and casually ask, "What is the rope for?"

RAH: "It's my temporary clothesline for the mattress cover which I am washing and plan to air dry."

CJ: oh.

RAH: what did you think the rope was for?

CJ: I wasn't sure. That's why I asked. Good idea.

I drove to work reminding myself I did well all week but I was clearly at the end of MY rope!

readerbaby71

I'm sorry but that really made me laugh. I totally would have thought the same thing. Ugh!!!

Pia

You did awesome Codejob!!!. I really commend you. I am a Type A but working on myself to be a Type B lol.

I thought the same thing when you mentioned the rope. Geesh !!

Buy him a bungie cord j/k

HopefulinFLA

Jeez Codejob, you sound a lot like me, except I'm not as adept at keeping my big mouth shut. Good work!

I thought the same thing about the rope. Good grief what's wrong with us?

honeypig

Sorry to admit, but I laughed too--not b/c I think it's ridiculous but b/c I TOTALLY GET IT! Oy vey, what a lot we are here...

CodeJob

Of course! I thought we all deserved a good chuckle at my expense!

Missus

As a codie myself, had I seen the rope was all wrong the the knots too loose, I might have just said "here, I'll fix that for you"

Kidding, but I've felt a little that way at times

Carlotta

I just read your post and I cannot stop laughing either because I can so totally see myself especially in that This is so totally me

Raider

Oh wow...I had no idea that is what a Codie would think.

Carlotta

Yes it is:
This is a codie who is still in love and wants to help the alcoholic
The one who stopped loving and is staying for other reasons including fear might think (that's how I felt toward the end with my qualifier)
I hope the ****** hangs himself.

CodeJob

I think it is an example of catastrophic thinking? Living with an addict, you already live outside the boundary of a "normal" day, so you try to be prepared for "whatever." I have had a fear of him hanging himself for awhile now. I'm always checking on him when he works in areas with exposed beams. Just to be sure...

Carlotta

I tend to do that too if I don't keep myself in check and it has been years since I lived with an active alcoholic

CodeJob

Oh I learned it from the women in my family. I came into any relationship already trained to jump to the worst conclusions 100 times a day.

hopeful4

Lol iwould have been exactly the same