MrBen

I was walking home and I was stopped by a homeless guy who asked for change. He is, what I would imagine most people imagine when somebody says "alcoholic", he stunk of the stuff and his hands were shaking. I'm just trying to paint a picture here, I'm not judging, the only difference between me and this guy a matter of months ago would be the roof over my head.

Anyway, I gave him the change although I knew he was going to spend it on alcohol because he looked in a bad state and I imagined a more immediate danger for him would be withdrawal rather than whatever extra damage my two pounds would buy him.

This incident reminded me of a time I met a homeless guy through a university project and he told me most don't become drug addicts before they lose their house, it happens after. So they are "normal" (I use that term loosely) drinkers/users whose use spirals due to a major life trauma. He said to me that everybody is an addict, deep down and that side of them only needs the right set of circumstances to come to fruition.

Now I believe that to be true. I think I, and many other people drink to fill some kind of void missing from our lives. Having considered this, I believe the most important aspect of recovery after physical withdrawal is identifying and taking action towards gaining the things we lack which this drug temporarily fills.

Then we will achieve a more permanent level of contentment with our sobriety. I feel this in myself. As I have changed my life thanks to sobriety, it becomes easier to stay sober.

Anyway, just something I thought about today.

Gilmer

Very interesting.

least

Something to think about, indeed. It could happen to any of us.

aasharon90

Alcohol or drug addiction doesn't choose
who it will target next. It doesn't decide
if it will pick the man with lots of money
or a clergy man or a mom, actor, etc.

It doesn't discriminate is what I read
and learned.

I appreciate your share.

PurpleKnight

It's a good point, I drank to escape all the things I lacked in my life, disappearing into a bottle every evening was a great way of not having to think of all those things.

Plus I sometimes think of drinking out of boredom, rather than organising something to do in my evenings, I'd drink to pass time, I almost lacked the energy/imagination to have a productive fulfilling life away from alcohol.

Recovery has meant addressing all of these things, very scary at first but the more I face up to them, the more alcohol looses it's hold on my life!!

autumn2

They are also a lot of homeless people who choose the lifestyle. If you was to give them a roof over their head they wouldn't take it. Some like the aspect of not having any obligations. They don't want to live by societies rules. My son at 19 chose that life.It's easier to panhandle and make more money in one day than a receive in a paycheck for the same amount with a a week of hard work.

If he had kept on track he would have graduated college with an engineering degree next year.

A lot of homeless have somewhere they can live,they choose the streets instead.I haven't heard from him in a few years. I'm sure this lifestyle has taken him to places he's never dreamed of.

For all of you that are believers, thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.

Gilmer

Will do, Autumn.

ElleDee

I'm still trying to figure out what the void is.

SoberLeigh

The complexities of homelessness are staggering. "There but for the Grace of God, go I".

MrBen

Perhaps people are more generous where you live, but I assure you in England, making more than the minimum wage via begging would be quite a feat.

MrBen

Maybe it is just a UK thing! After a quick google I just found this No Cookies | dailytelegraph.com.au

Unbelievable!

Alkaline

I agree with you about 'managing the void' being an important part of true recovery. It's different than just sheer willpower.

ultradad

Thanks for sharing...

Indeed, but for the Grace of God!

Dee74

Ben the Daily Telegraph is about as reputable as the Daily Mail.
I call BS on that story.

I respect Autumns story, too, but I think there are very few people who choose to be homeless.

Things like physical disability, addiction, mental illness, chronic unemployment, obdurate bureaucracy and impossibly rising rents are far more likely to be factors than choice.

Thanks for stopping to talk to that guy MrBen
D

Mountainmanbob

from my perspective that would be hard to say
for I was a functioning alcoholic
loved a lot of drink and others things mixed with good hard work
did this for well over 40 years while owning many different homes
that was me -- never even came close to losing my home -- yet for sure alcoholic

then I had many drunk addict friends at work (City Government)
they were full blown into their addictions for many years
before in the end losing their jobs and homes

seems hard to tell when and where it will all come crumbling down
but
if alcoholic and or addict
in most cases and in time most good things and relationships will collapse

I have seen some lose it all before they are in their twenties
yet others hang on till they are in their sixties

some die very young due to their disease
some die in middle life
some die late in life
some never die from the disease but wish they were dead

Mountainman

autumn2

Dee, that is true. I should have wrote a few instead of a lot. In my son's case. I.just.don't.understand. it.

Before he chose to be homeless he hiked 500 miles of the Appalachian trail solo. He then hitchhiked out west. Was gone 8 months before contacting me. He was in Aspen,Co working headed to Oregon.

I offered him a plane ticket home. I offered him my car. I offered him money. He declined all.There actually is evidence that for the younger generation movies like Into the Wild among other things have glorified this lifestyle (even though Chris McCandless had a tragic ending.) and there has been an increase of homeless by choice by that age group.

Dee74

I'm sorry Autumn - I know that must be very painful for you to have to stand by like this.

D

Lola23

Ben - thanks for sharing. I've def. had the "but for the Grace of God..." thought so many times when witnessing someone who was obviously drunk in the middle of the day, staggering around in ruined clothing. Not even necessarily someone who was homeless, but someone who was so clearly intoxicated out of their mind at noon and wondered what their story was.

Autumn - I'm sorry about your son and I hope it works out in the end. I agree with the Into The Wild reference about it glorifying a lifestyle that ultimately is not sustainable. In fact, the first time I saw the movie, I was so unreasonably...Angry. All I could think of was his family. Again, sorry to hear this.

grubby

If you think about it, people who make more $$ are actually in a better position to abuse alcohol:

- more time on their hands
- don't really need to "answer" to other people in the same way poor/middle class types do, frequently they make their own schedule or own a business
- simply more $ to blow on the habit
- reverse stigma, there is a cultural perception difference - whereas a poor person overindulging on alcohol is seen as a "loser" or addict, someone who is well-off who overindulges is seen as "living the high life" or "sophisticated"
- can afford better doctors, lawyers, specialists, etc for when things go sour........ a poor or middle class type person can only afford so many mistakes, emergency room visits, convictions, DUI's, etc

not sure why the most common depiction of an alky is the stereotypical homeless guy, i think all the "other" alky's are just better at hiding it. Recently i found out that my dad's doctor is a big-time boozer (lots of spirits), but you would never know it if you met him in person. Hell, I was pretty good at hiding my own drinking, you'd be surprised

matt4x4

Well a normal drinker, has one or two drinks and feels woozy and they stop. An alcoholic is just getting started. They lost their house long before its gone, just like you start drinking long before you take that first drink. The insanity is before the first drink. The "stuff" that happens after you take that first drink is normal. Jails are normal. Insane Asylums and mental wards are normal. That is not insane, like I said it becomes before you even pick up that first drink. The problem centers in the mind, alcohol has nothing to with what an alcoholics problem is. The problem is the way we think, it must change, or we die.