anewlife88

Just three and a half weeks ago i was 10 day's sober off of painkillers, and here i am again on day 2 after a three week binge. Im so mad at myself, here i am anxious and going through the withdrawal's all over again. When i had made it before so many days i was a better mother, better wife, better everything. I had a job,,, what triggered my relapse. getting fired because i told my boss i was going to quit smoking when i could afford patches. Really??? Because she was a non-smoker and against smoking in every form and decided to put me down for it, after i said that apparently i had "copped" an attitude. which i didnt. But that's what you get working in a work at will state where someone can fire you for no dang reason. So here i am upset with myself and so sick of this cycle. I feel alone, anxious. Thankfully the withdrawels aren't as bad as they were the last time but i am sick of doing this..... :;( sometimes i feel like just giving up.

OverTheUnder

I could have written what you just wrote...

I was able to put together a few months of being off opiates. I was about to get my dream job, which after 3 interviews (which required me to travel to another state) they said thanks but no thanks... I thought I was doing pretty good at accepting my circumstances but I guess not. Ran into an old "friend" and boom. A week later here I am at day 2.

I feel ****** (physically) but happy it was only just a week so mentally, I'm not frayed like I have felt in the past. The drugs are making you more depressed than you really are. The drugs are depressing you - not you!

anewlife88

Yeah it definitely sucks knowing it the chemicals that is making me feel this way... Just want it all to end you know.To feel good again. i hate the triggers that seem to be everywhere now, i hate the anger i feel the anxiety is the worse right now. I have two little kids running around depending on me and i am trying so dang hard. Stupid pills..... grrrr

SprungPoppy

My own self pitty was my biggest obstacle for getting clean...working now on staying clean!! Push through..you can do this again!!

needingabreak

Do not beat yourself up and look back. You are on day 2, good for you! Accept you are moving forward, getting through this minute by minute, hour by hour if you have to and look ahead. A better life awaits you every minute you do not use. Be proud of yourself for stopping and ending the quick relapse. Not everyone can do it. Look at the positives. There are many!