DoubleDragons

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.

I am working very diligently on this step. There is a Christian pop song out that is entitled "Steal My Show, Lord." It has become my morning prayer. Steal my show. When I feel out of control emotionally or relationally. Steal my show. When my worries start exploding and multiplying. Steal my show. When I am looking for the right words of advice to my children. Steal my show. When I am feeling at a loss for direction. Steal my show.

What are your thoughts on working Step 3?

happybeingme

I do believe a person can invite God into their lives but can not turn their will over wholesale. With my Christian upbringing and belief system I have free will and its not something that can just be given back so that I can slide into the passenger seat and let God take the wheel. However God can sit in the passenger seat and serve as a navigator. Does that make sense?

DoubleDragons

I hear what you are saying. I do believe in free will. In my experience, I would only surrender certain things to God. There was a box for Him to handle and a box that I felt I needed and I didn't want his input. For a long time that was drinking alcohol for me, but when I finally surrendered he helped me and I am 8 months sober on my first attempt at sobriety. I think I am holding on to my spending habits too tightly and that is my next thing to really hand over. For me, it was a hard for me to give God anything for a long time until I felt absolutely dire and desperate about something. I think this is related to my need to control everything but also out of fear that God would require me to become a missionary, adopt 20 kids, stop caring about fashion, etc. LOL I was fearful of letting go. But in retrospect the things that I have given to him have ended up being the most fabulous aspects of my life. I have learned that the Universe did not make me one way to try to mold me into something else.

EveningRose

I wish it were that easy. I would love to turn the wheel over. But I have to get up each morning and make a decision about what to do next, without hearing any divine voice in my ear. All I ever hear is, "Trust me." I'm really not sure what it is I'm supposed to be trusting. Of course, this being a holiday weekend when family is gathering and I'm once again the bad daughter for not playing nice (twisted alcoholic family thinking), I'm feeling particularly hopeless. Maybe next month my answer will be more positive.

gleefan

When I feel overwhelmed by my activities and responsibilities and other people's expectations of me, I find it helpful to go outdoors in nature, to relax. I'll watch clouds move or observe insects crawling. It's as close as I've ever been to a prayerful state.

Knowing that the paradigm that I've used to lead my life has resulted in addiction, codependency, anxiety, stress, and shame has made it possible for me to consider turning it over to a higher power.

Kialua

It's an ironic paradox that letting go and giving up control to God give you the most control you can ever have. I have been able to control my life because I am grounded now. I'm focused on what matters and not deterred by the things that don't matter.

ladyscribbler

I feel the same. For me it is a daily, and sometimes moment by moment decision to turn it over. I combat racing thoughts and worries by recognizing what I am doing, stopping the thoughts in their tracks and saying, "That's for God to worry about."
That has helped me tremendously with my tendency to future trip or get upset about things over which I am powerless. It has also helped me when I make a decision that will probably upset someone else. If I do what is best for me and my sons, then I can turn the outcome over to god and let go of my expectations, whether they are positive or negative.

makomago

Making the decision to turn my life and will over to the care of the God of my understanding is simple. That decision I take today and intend to do everyday because I now have faith that to do otherwise is part of the insanity (mentioned in step2) of which I'm hoping to deal with in the steps 3 to 9.

I am willing and will accept the help that I believe these steps and ACA (as a whole) will provide me.

God, I am willing to surrender my fears and to place my will and my life in your care one day at a time. Grant me the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can and cannot change. Help me to remember that I can ask for help. I am not alone. Amen

paulmichael

Although I *know* it, I'm constantly reminded that recovery is a life-long journey, not a destination that one races towards to cross some mythical finish line. There's value in going through the steps over and over again. In my main ACA meeting we're starting Step 3 as a group. I've been through Step 3 (not only in ACA but in other programs as well) but someone said something that completely changed my world view. That's what I love about going to meetings - listening (what a concept, right?) ;-). We were talking about turning our lives and our will over to a God of our understanding. It's that last part that I never really spent a lot of time thinking about. Who or what is the God of MY understanding? Someone pointed out that her spiritual life radically changed when she examined the God of her understanding vs. the God she had been sold by her FOO. I realized that MY higher power, the one that's always been there, isn't the one that I was sold by my family, church or school... and that's OK. There, I said it and it feels great, I don't believe what everyone else believes in exactly the same way. What a liberating realization. There's a word for it, "heterodoxy." Essentially it means "any opinions or doctrines at variance with an official or orthodox position." Being brought up in a shame-based and guilt-based home and church, I was taught that if my understanding of God didn't jive with the officially sanctioned understanding then I was bad and would go to Hell. It was all about fear, shame and guilt. In that moment of realization, it was like my HP tapped me on the shoulder and told me to turn around and see that they'd been there the whole time. My HP is what he/she/it is... not what others have defined it to be. I truly understand now what is meant by "Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God." Seems like such a simple concept but it took me a while to get it. Thanks for letting me share.