grandma3333

I'm so confused. It has to do with AA. Or more to the point my sponsor. I love the people at the meetings. I really like my sponsor. But she calls me every day. She sounds worried every time I don't go to a meeting. I feel a little like I have to answer to her. My mom died 30 years ago and I don't need a new one.
I have been fighting a colon infection and spent a couple of days in the hospital. My recovery has been very slow with more medical work yet to come. I don't feel like going to meetings right now. If you know anything about colon issues you spend a very lot of time in the bathroom. Also there have been comments made about my friends outside of AA. I am not willing to give my friends up. Most of them have been very supportive. My drinking is not there problem it's mine.
I'm afraid if she keeps pushing me I will not want to go to meetings any more.
I think there is room in my life for AA and my other friends. And I should choose when I want to go to a meeting according to my schedule.
Does any one have any suggestions?
Diana
PS this is day #46 sober

least

Tell her kindly, but firmly, to back off a bit. She's your sponsor, not your mother, and her job is to guide you thru the steps. Not be your life coach. Tell her enough is too much already. Back off. You're sober and what you do with your time is your business.

Anna

I hope you find something that works for you with regards to your sponsor.

Dee74

I kinda see it differently Diana.

I know you've had a lot of trouble staying sober - I think it's great that now you have a sponsor so committed to your recovery.

A lot of people really want that kind of support and don't have it...y'now?

D

hardhearts

She just wants to see you get better, and this is likely how her sponsor sponsored her. She's committed to helping you so be thankful for that. That said, sobriety is different for everyone. Explain to her your situation, maybe that will help. Tell her you can handle it. If not, and you feel that she is not someone you can work the steps with, maybe consider a new sponsor. Ultimately if you are harboring issues or are unable to see eye to eye with your sponsor or her requests, that is going to hurt your program. In fact, it already has if you're worried about not wanting to go to meetings because of this.

I took a little under two months to find my sponsor instead of finding one immediately. A lot of people disagree with this choice, and that's fine. I had many women approach me and hint at wanting to be my sponsor, and a lot of these women had incredible amounts of sobriety and are great people. However, I found them overbearing and pushy (in the most caring of ways, really) and for me that makes me very anxious. The woman I ended up asking has less sobriety than some others (around 4yrs, so still solid time), but she works an incredible program and she understands me, how to handle me. It's a personal thing for many people, so don't be discouraged if you have to go through a few before finding someone that you feel best with.

Good luck x

happyandfree

Explain to her how you feel and see what her response is. Does she have reason to be so concerned?

biminiblue

It's your life and your sobriety. Work it your way - but be honest about it. If you haven't told your sponsor what you've told us, it's time.

happyandfree

And grandma333, congratulations on 46 days. Way to go!

Kris47

I'm 4 plus months sober and have a sponsor that sounds much like yours. We batted heads at first for the same kind of reasons. If you are sick it is understandable to not being able to attend meetings. Make her understand this. If you are just not wanting to go for other reasons be truthful with yourself. I too at first thought what the heck?! I now enjoy my daily talks with my sponsor. Shes a good one and that is how she keeps sober, too. By helping us. Good luck. BTW, congrats on 46 days!