PlentyGood

A few days ago I posted about my sister who went into detox. She signed herself out early. She went in on Sunday morning and signed herself out on Tuesday. She said the place was "horrible". She didn't like the plastic beds and pillows amongst other things. She went to six meetings and saw a counselor while she was in detox.

She got out on Tuesday and went to an AA meeting that night and another yesterday. I went with her on Tuesday and it was a privilege to be there. I thought it was a great place to be and the people were wonderful. Yesterday she went to see her doctor and got a prescription for Librium. I am wondering if that is a good idea but it's out of my hands.

She says she isn't going to drink any longer and is committed to staying sober but at the same time she is researching the efficacy of AA and looking up studies on how it isn't effective. I do hope she will go to another meeting today.

My husband and I have been driving her to all of her appointments. My nephew stayed with us while she was in detox. I have been worrying about her constantly. I am so happy to help and support her but it's been less than a week and I'm exhausted.

kudzujean

Sounds like she's looking for an excuse not to go to AA.

Best wishes to all of you.

Mango blast

Can she take a bus, walk, bike or find another way to get to them? There may be someone at AA willing to give her a ride. The more responsibility and involvement she takes for things like this, the better her chances are.

Speaking with a Licensed Addictions Counselor has been helpful for myself even when my husband refused to call. It helps cut out the BS and gives me focus on what might work and where I'm buying into things that aren't helpful.

Have you and your husband been going to Alanon yet? It's a great place to be. Many wonderful people are alcoholics and codependents. Alateen might be an option for your nephew. How old is he?

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

Whether she's open to a rehab center or not, I found that checking them out and knowing what my options are for handing my husband's problem over to others helps my sanity immensely. It's not up to me whether he goes or not, but I can present him with the option. The good ones have given me solid ideas on how to talk to him and approach this. It's not about me trying to force him in, but rather knowing I'm not alone, that resources are there and if he chooses not to go that's up to him. The three C's: I didn't Cause this, I can't Control it and I can't Cure it. There are professionals to hand this over to. If he won't get help from any of them, I know anything I can offer won't be able to help him at all. It's not up to me.

Mountainmanbob

you have done a lot for her
very loving and kind

she should be looking for the positive sides of AA
for it has helped many thousands to Recovery

self deception may be her worst enemy

MM

embraced2000

I remember your post.....signing herself out early is the first red flag.

pay attention to the red flags. I hope she follows through, but if she doesn't, understand that you could not have made a difference in this.


take care of yourself, first and foremost. we can help them most, by not helping.

PlentyGood

Thanks so much for the responses. These are wise comments. Thank you. She's going to another AA meeting today, so far so good.

PlentyGood

And to answer the question about my nephew -- he is nine and has autism so not a candidate for Al-Anon. I have an alcoholic father and an alcoholic father so I probably could benefit from a meeting. I have long since come to terms with my father -- I don't feel like his addiction affects my life like it did in the past. I've had therapy and have let it go, so to speak. I do see my inclination to try to rescue my sister but I have already started to relax a bit and know that I cannot help her and that she must help herself. And the thing about alcoholics in my family-- they really don't care if I am distressed or inconvenienced. So, I have to look out for myself and my family. I will continue to support my sister but I won't allow it to consume me. Thank you again.

hopeful4

Good for you. Addiction produces some of the most selfish people in the world.

Please do take good care of you!!!

XXX