Blossom717

My brother is getting married on our property and I was all for it. I thought it would be fun, and maybe I could help. Turns out they didn't really want my help or my ideas for it (barn wedding), they just wanted the barn. Which in reality shouldn't bother me at all I don't think.

But it does. It irritates me that my brother and his fiance act like I should be home everytime they are over, Like i should be waiting for their phone call. But then it also irritates me that they never ask me for help. I'd like to help. Everyone else is asking me about details of the wedding and I can't give answers because I have no idea what is happening in my barn. I know they won't damage anything. I'm also the maid of honor and I thought that I'd get to help decorate, anything like that. I thought it'd be a good bonding thing.

But today I'm thinking its a codie way of thinking. Its not about me. It's about them getting married, and thats all. It just dawned on me that maybe part of it was that I wanted to be able to control some aspect of it? I don't consciously, but maybe subconsciously?

The book I'm reading about codependency is really eye opening, and kind of scary. I didn't realize how much of it is integrated into my every day way of thinking until I started reading about it.