unchartedxo

Had a micro mini vacation get away this weekend to Texas. It was 2-3 days of family, pool, food, and booze. Friday? I had 3 beers. And stopped. Saturday, I moderated. All day. Never got drunk, stopped when I starts feeling the affects too strongly. Went to bed sober and happy. Yesterday? I didn't. OMG WHY? Why can I happily and strongly moderate one day, then lose control the next? I stopped drinking yesterday around 5pm and I STILL feel like poo 13 hours later.

I don't get it. When is this whole thing going to get easier??

resolute50

I tried moderating back in 08 and didn't climb out of the hole till last July.
Moderation never works for an alcoholic.
I treat alcohol like it's poison now and resolved myself to never touch it again for life.
Now things are much better.

Dee74

Like I said to someone else today, 99 times out of a hundred my drinking experience was crash and burn.

But that one time, when it was within the bounds of 'normal', was the time I clung to.

I needed to accept I had no control over my drinking.

The times it looked like I had control were luck more than anything else.

If you can't consistently control your drinking unchartedxo it means every time you drink it's like throwing dice...only the dice are loaded in your addiction's favour.

Eventually the House always wins.

Until you accept that, you're just opening yourself up for more and more trouble.

D

ScottFromWI

When you accept that you can never pick up the first drink...ever. Very simple concept but difficult for us to accept unconditionally.

afloatsober

If you are an alcoholic then it will never get better, only worse, if you continue to try moderate drinking. The severity and effects of this condition worsen over time unless we stop it in it's tracks by stopping drinking alcohol.
I tried every which way to deny this for years, getting ever sicker and more desperate.
But if we stop?
Then we find that there is help, and a freedom that truly we hardly dared dream of.
It takes time, resolve, a certain amount of faith and a longing to be sober.
But the miracle can and does happen.
G

IOAA2

In the beginning I had the same question. After too much research and experimenting I diagnosed my situation and it's called Alcoholism. Very powerful and very progressive and stays for our lifetime. I needed time to accept that but since accepting it it's been hardly a problem. If I don't drink!

BE WELL

desypete

if i could control my drinking i wouldn't need aa
normal drinkers dont have to try to control there drinking it comes natural to them.
its one of the things that made sense to me in trying to understand just what an alcoholic really is as i thought an alcoholic was a drinker who drank 24 / 7 and that i was different as i only drank at weekends so i couldnt be an alcoholic
when they told me to not take the first drink i would say but its not the first one that does the damage its when i get to 10 of more then i lose it and do silly things etc
i belived it to with all my heart until i could understand by not taking that first drink it wouldnt then lead me to the 10th drink
for me when i take 1 drink it starts a hunger in me for more i loved the feeling that first drank game me so i wanted more and more and the more i feed that the more i drank i had no control once i took that first drink so if i dont take that first drink then i dont have that strong urge for a second one etc
then there is the mental twist to this as when i wasnt drinking i would be dreaming of drinking and having fun and release that only booze could give me
but number 1 in my life is to understand what an alcoholic is if i understand what an alcoholic is then i can decide if i am one or not. and if i know and accept i am one then i have to learn how to cope without it its all so simple but yet so hard for me to understand yet i understand one thing i am an alcoholic one drink is to much for me as it will lead on to more

soberclover

It got better for me when I accepted the fact that any attempts at controlling my drinking would not work. The solution for me was to stop drinking for good. It's such a relief to no longer have to deal with that type of crazy thinking.

azbluesgal

When will it get better? Silly Rabbit, it will NEVER get better - even with long periods of "sobriety". I don't care what you call it or how you treat it - some "lucky" people like the rest of us have realized that our bodies and minds are ALLERGIC to ETOH on a permanent basis. MODERATION for us is NO FUN, it's NOT truly social because once we start there is NO guarantee that we can stop. We realize that and understand it totally no matter which "method" helped us get to that important realization. For ME - it's simple - add alcohol - instant %$#^Hole. Now i'm a short little old fart and can't do much physical damage to anyone, but I have a mouth the size of Texas and Alaska put together. WE JUST CAN NOT drink EVER. I don't know if that explains it or not Lucy, but there it is.

doggonecarl

Which thing? Drinking normally?

Or quitting?

heath480

If you are an Alcoholic it will get worse,never better.You have to accept it and never pick up the first drink.

unchartedxo

I think this is where I struggle the most. "If you are an alcoholic"

Alcoholic = a person suffering from alcoholism
Alcoholism = a person who is addicted to the consumption of alcohol or a person who has a mental disorder/compulsive personality due to the dependency of alcohol

I don't feel I fit ether or those definitions. So I find it difficult not picking up that first drink.

I probably sound ridiculous to all of you.

doggonecarl

That right there is my definition of alcoholism, difficulty not drinking. I had to drink. Once that was clear, I knew I needed to stop.

Your definition of alcoholism, whatever that is, seems to exclude you. Instead of looking at where you don't align with your idea of an alcoholic, why don't you look at where you do line up? At the simplest level. Like you can't quit drinking.

least

You don't sound ridiculous, just scared and trapped in an endless cycle of misery. I hope you can put the bottle down for good. Nothing good will come of drinking.

unchartedxo

I so agree with this... Nothing good. So why the temptation. If I was lactose intolerant, would I still drink milk? Alcohol is POISON to my body, yet......

Considering I am a rational and logical person, not quite sure why I struggle with this.

azbluesgal

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the only way to have control over your emotions - which make us drink. I drank when i was mad or sad, and I drank when I was happy and elated about SOME external event in my life. Now that I don't have to react AT ALL most of the time to external triggers, I can be logical about WHAT IS BEST for ME. go to a good used bookstore and find some Albert Ellis or Wayne Dwyer. They both grew up tough luck kids and managed to become healthy and wealthy. NOW isn't LIVING WELL the Best REVENGE?

Nonsensical

Perhaps you're addicted to the consumption of alcohol. I was. It manifested itself in a temptation to drink despite years and years of bad experiences related to alcohol consumption. I could not accept that I could not drink.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

bloss

I just kept trying to drink one and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Those times where drinking one turned into many left me sick, embarrassed, scared and ultimately suicidal.

I really wanted to be able to have just one or two and the majority of the time it just didn't happen. It took years of misery before I finally accepted the only way out was not to pick up the first drink, no matter where I was, or what was going on. For me there just was no other way.
Hope you find the right answer for yourself.

Upward2Enlightenment

Do you mean when you started to feel drunk?

Don't mean to be rude but just pointing out how it sounds.

biminiblue

For me, there is no good thing that will happen after one drink. It's just a matter of time until I'm sick and in bed or throwing up. Racing heart, racing thoughts, fear, anxiety, irritability, depression. That's what happens to me. Maybe not in a week or a month, but one drink will lead to misery.

I did the research.