story74

I am trying to understand.

My x's DOC was/is cocaine. He left all of his "buddies" and moved across the states. Where he is at he has no known connections, but that doesn't really mean anything because he once set up a drug deal with a gas station attendant that he didn't know.

Anyways, I read on this forum how hard withdraw is.

How can he go a month without using when he was using daily before? Can he do it on his own without rehab? He has never had any self-discipline (not trying to be mean, but just truthful). Are drugs easy to find no matter where you are?

He has contacted me after a very lengthy absence and wants to speak to our son, but he has made no mention to want to talk to me about where he has been or even apologize about the abandonment. In fact, his message gave me a red flag he is still in non-recovery mode.

I just don't know what's going on, and I am trying to protect my son. I don't want him to get hurt.

Any insight on what someone feels the first month of no cocaine. Is it easy to put on a front that you are healthy and everything is fine? He is currently living with a family member, and I am pretty sure he is pretending to be "fine" to save face.

Thanks for responding if you feel comfortable. I know what you all are going through is so hard, and I am sending many blessings your way. Ultimately I know your guess is as good as mine, but maybe there is someone out there who can relate. Thanks

OxyMaddened

While my doc is Oxy & not Cocaine, I used Coke plenty in the 80s but it never had a grip on me. However, I've seen the extent of how it can (and has) gripped others & as you know it isn't pretty.

As to W/D it doesn't have the physical aspects like an Opiate does. Unlike when I was withdrawing from Oxy, he won't have extreme pain, nausea, bathroom issues, cold sweats, extreme fatigue, etc. It's basically ALL mental with coke, and someone in the grips of it will be totally obsessed with getting that next line or hit off the pipe. Most addicts are supreme liars and can appear totally normal to folks who have no idea--at least for awhile.

From his lack of previous contact and such it sounds like he's still deep into both use and denial, and probably putting on a good enough front to his family that they wouldn't begin to know if/when he's still using...unless stuff starts turning up missing. As to finding drugs, my guess is a trip or two to most local drinking establishments would make it pretty easy to find some like-minded individuals. Drugs are everywhere.

I say keep protecting your son from contact. Unless he shows signs of being a reponsibile adult, with his own place, a good job, and regular contact and accountability, an assumption he continues to use is not out of line.